Sex and romance are not mutually exclusive. So, what does romantic sex mean?
Romantic sex conjures up these images for most couples.
Long sunset walks along silky smooth soft white beaches
Bouquets of long-stemmed red roses arriving for you at home or at your workplace
A box of exquisite Swiss dark milk chocolates delivered to your door
A candlelit dinner composed of your favorite foods and champagne
All of these scenarios followed by the most tender, loving and fabulous sex imaginable.
Well, for most of us these are lovely cinematic fantasies, but there are myriad ways to make sex (and indeed, life!) more romantic.
There are definitely some fun romantic sex tips that you can follow to ramp up the romantic quotient in your life and enjoy the best romantic sex with your bae.
So, look no further for romantic sex ideas! Let’s plunge headfirst into romantic sex 101
What is romantic sex for most of us?
Before we delve into ideas to enhance romantic sex in marriage, let’s first understand that everyone creates a personalized mind map of what romance is.
Your idea of what is romantic may be very different than that of your BFF’s, which may be very different than what your office mates’ idea of what constitutes something romantic, and so on.
So, how to have romantic sex when there is no one size fits all solution to fix a bland relationship?
To transform your relationship from blah to blissful, it is important to understand that most people have some general ideas of what is involved in romantic sex.
To begin with, two people who genuinely like one another is a good starting point.
You can indeed have a marvelously good time with another person without being “in like” or “in love,” but somehow the romantic part just does not seem to be intrinsic to that equation.
So to sum up, what are the necessary ingredients for your personal definition of romance, and how best to achieve this goal?
I’ll take one from Column B, two of number 117, now make that a number 46. Sounds confusing?
Yes, elements that lead to romantic sex are a little bit like one of those very long, confusing menus you get at some Chinese restaurants. Let’s look at some of them to rekindle the romance in your relationship.
Make your environment more romantic
Where do you feel that you are your best romantic self?
Is it at home in your own bed, or is it in a totally different locale, where the newness adds to the romantic climate?
If it is at home, do you like to include music, different lighting, crisp linen sheets, and flowers on the bed stand?
Do you create a romantic environment to heighten the evening (or afternoon, morning, well, whenever)? Or does your romantic spot involve being whisked away to somewhere you have never been before?
Just remember, no matter how daring or romantic it may seem, having a tryst in a public place is not only illegal, it could be potentially rather embarrassing if it were to make page one of the local newspaper!
Amp up your wardrobe
Do you feel most romantic wearing something sexy and revealing (if you’re a woman) or dapper and suave a la James Bond (if you’re a man)?
Sure, these sound like stereotypical seduction garb, but there is a reason.
Many people feel more amorous when the clothes they are wearing reflect their feelings of romance. Men and women may feel romantic wearing jeans and tee-shirts too.
Clothing does not have to be thongs, g-strings and skimpy lingerie to be sexy!
Some people find getting dressed up in costumes can be exciting.
Romeo and Juliet?
Cleopatra and Mark Antony?
Scarlett and Rhett?
Discover what attire makes you feel sexy and go for it!
Create a befitting prelude to making love
What you do before the culmination of your romantic evening certainly is a form of foreplay, and is almost as important as the real foreplay.
What do you both enjoy doing?
A filet mignon and truffles dinner at the Chateau d’Amor, a fancy expensive French eatery, or a dine and dash Double Double hamburger, shake and fries at the local In-N-Out? Or something in between?
All of these options are what makes for your own personal romance.
The atmosphere of the dining spot can add to the romantic feel of the evening.
A good view, the sound of waves in the distance, discreet lighting, comfortable seating, and attentive (or inattentive!) service can all add up to a wonderful start to a night of romance.
And after that dinner, how about a movie?
While chick flicks are always romantic, it might be time for a romantic film with a more universal appeal. Always a good bet: “Casablanca”.
Importantly enough, elements of romantic sex include honest and open communication, love, shared interests, and mutualityin the relationship as the other cogs in the wheel of relationship bliss.
But sometimes talking too much about a relationship quells the romance, so opinion is really mixed about how much you should discuss your romantic life with your partner. Nevertheless, romance leading to sex makes for combustible chemistry between couples.
The Gottman Institute, for example, states that you should, “have continuous conversations about sexual intimacy”, but some people would not be comfortable with non-stop conversations about sex.
A good balance of topics and flirtatious banter would make for very romantic foreplay for most couples.
Don’t sidestep the epilogue
Just as good foreplay is to romantic sex, the time after sex is equally important. The afterglow is indeed often a time for an honest heart to heart conversations.
Due to certain chemicals released during the climax, you may feel closer than ever to your partner at this time.
Depending upon the mood, you and your partner can discuss:
What felt good
What you would like to try again
Maybe broach the topic of new things you would like to try in your intimate relationship
Of course, some people may just want to sleep, so be sure to recognize if this is the case and do not carry on like a chatterbox!
Romance in marriage should never fizzle, as it involves affection, sexuality, and togetherness between a couple.
Romance during sex may be missing in a marriage or a relationship when at least one of the partners does not realize the significance of romantic sex for a couple’s relationship longevity and overall well-being.
Also, to enhance your love bond, and increase your desire for each other, it would be a good idea to check out these romantic sex positions.
Hopefully, the two of you will be similarly inclined so that one partner is not left lying awake and looking at the ceiling.
Sex is a very important component in a relationship and only gets better when romance and time are equal parts of the equation.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.