Am I married to a narcissist? Do you keep looking for signs you’re married to a narcissist?
It’s difficult to figure out sometimes, especially because if you do have a narcissist partner, you are likely to have already been manipulated enough to question yourself and lose your sense of intuition.
Traits of a narcissistic husband
So to help you along in identifying the characteristics of a narcissistic spouse, we have created a checklist for you.
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder seeks out the admiration of other people continuously, and they display high levels of self-grandiosity and lack empathy.
A little narcissism can be healthy – it stops us from being walked all over and becoming so selfless that we can’t survive.
But when a person is too self-absorbed, as in the case of narcissism, it becomes a personality disorder; it’s a cause of concern.
If your partner exhbits the traits of a narcissistic husband, it could be detrimental to your well being and sense of self.
Questions to confirm your husband’s narcissism
Answer these questions with either a yes or a no to find out whether or not you are married to a narcissistic husband.
If you do find out that they do show the signs of a narcissist husband, there are plenty more articles on this site to help you to understand what your next steps should be.
He was very charming and likable when you first met him?
Does your husband say things that put people down?
Does your husband have a way of influencing people to side with him?
Did your husband have a long list of previous relationships?
Does your husband have a preference for people who flatter him?
Have you noticed a drastic change in his behavior over time?
Does your husband respond negatively at times when you share to him about certain behaviors or manner of speaking that you do not appreciate?
Does he prioritize being in places or situations that allow him to show off over spending quality time with you?
Is he obviously ignorant of his narcissistic tendencies?
If you answered mostly ‘YES,’ you are very likely to have a narcissistic husband.
These questions allude to behaviors that exhibit the characteristics of a narcissistic husband. To further ascertain if your husband is indeed a narcissist, take the “Am I Married to a Narcissist Quiz.”
Diving deeper in the questions
Let’s take a look deeper into some of the questions in the questionnaire:
Does your husband have a habit of taking over a conversation?
People with NPD are known to always take over the conversation. This is their way of showing off just how “great” they are.
No matter what topic it might be, they will always have some “expert” thing to say. If you stop talking about something they know, they will be smart enough to sway the conversation back to them.
Does your husband say things that put people down?
Putting people down is one of the manipulative traits of a narcissist husband. When they talk people down, their victims lose their guard and are suddenly very vulnerable to the attacker.
The attacker, who is a narcissist, will use this vulnerability to get their way.
Over time, the victims form trauma bond with their attacker… and this is not healthy.
They also do this for them to come out as the shiny pot or “the cream of the crop” because they want admiration more than anything else in the world.
Does your husband respond negatively when you discuss their behaviors?
Answering a yes to this question is an obvious sign of a narcissist husband.
A narcissist looks at themselves to be perfect and faultless; they don’t like to be challenged because it challenges their grandiose sense of “perfection.”
They do not see beyond their faults, all they see is how “perfect” they are (even if we all know they are not).
Does he acknowledge your sexual needs well enough to accommodate them?
If you’re always on the giving side when it comes to intimacy with your husband and you gave this question a ‘yes’ along with saying yes to some of the other questions, you may well have a very narcissistic husband.
Another narcissistic husband trait is that he wouldn’t acknowledge your sexual needs, and won’t try to accommodate them.
Selfishness is a great defining narcissistic husband behavior and something that should be vigilantly looked out for.
If you answered mostly ‘NO,’ you’re not married to a narcissistic husband
Then that just means you have a stable husband who is not hitting the narcissistic scale.
You have a husband who can be caring and is capable of showing empathy, but also somebody who might make a few mistakes occasionally, have some other underlying issues, or have become stuck in a behavioral rut.
His behavioral issues may have caused you to question if you have a narcissistic husband.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.