There are many things that you’ll be needing to do to prepare for marriage but most premarital couples often concentrate on the fun things like choosing the wedding dress or booking the honeymoon. Without considering other, more important things to do for marriage preparation that doesn’t involve planning for the wedding.
Here are 8 things to do for marriage preparation that will set you up for married life
1. Take time to commit to each other and make it a daily practice
It’s difficult as you live your daily life to always remember to be loving, kind and committed to each other even when the chips are down. One of the best things to do for marriage preparation is to set this habit up for a lifetime. Remember to come back to each other and to invest emotionally in each other. It will keep you both committed to your relationship.
And you’ll have an extra bonus that when you are old you’ll be able to inspire young couples about to marry into making the same type of commitment to each other as you did.
2. Take advantage of premarital couples counseling
We’ve all got elements of our personality traits and habits that can cause conflict in a relationship. And it’s often difficult for the person closest to you to highlight these issues without conflict. And talking of conflict and negotiating, it can all be difficult to navigate the rocky ground of conflict and negotiation alone, or together when you’ve never done this before. Which is why the next great thing that you can do for marriage preparation is to seek out premarital couples counseling so that you can iron out any weak spots in your marriage. It will also help you both to develop strategies and coping skills for all the challenges that will arise inside your marriage.
3. Discuss your individual and collective goals
Knowing what you both want in life individually and collectively will help you to prioritize your goals, allocate money and time, discuss any issues that may prevent the accomplishment of such goals. Make a habit to review your goals and renegotiate where your focus and attention lies as a couple, and where you are in your goal accomplishment. It will help you to keep your marriage alive and also distinguish one month from another too, just don’t run your married life totally focused on goals alone!
4. Discuss your financial situation
Paying attention to your financial needs will help you prioritize your individual and collective goals, and make decisions that are aligned with a secure foundation for your life together. It requires attention, focus, hard decisions and sometimes sacrifices – but if you do it well, you’ll be glad that you did. Especially when you live your life without fear of financial trouble. And that’s why financial planning is high up on the list of things to do for marriage preparation.
5. Discuss deal breakers
No matter how dedicated you are to one another, or how much you love each other, there are transgressions that could potentially destroy your marriage. Discussing these boundaries at the beginning of your marriage is a great thing to do before marriage because it will help you to stay within them, for the sake of your happy marriage!
6. Discuss how you will communicate in times of conflict
This is something that you can discuss with a premarital counselor. Discussing how you communicate at times of conflict should be a priority when it comes to things to do before marriage. It will diffuse arguments and enable great communication.
7. Discuss habits that are difficult for your partner to handle
There are some habits that you’ll both have that presents challenges to the other party. It could be something as simple as not making decisions, or not speaking up about what you want, to pushing your needs and opinion onto the other party, or taking too long to get ready to go out. Discussing these habits is a great thing to do before marriage so that you can work to adapt your behavior that is hurtful, or difficult to live with, or laugh off the little idiosyncrasies such as taking too long to get ready!
8. Discuss your personal expectations of marriage
Understanding what each of you expects from married life will help you both to remain realistic and positive together. There will be some elements of married life that are not as bright and beautiful as it first seems, or even as you are led to believe. And understanding where your expectations lie, compared to the reality (which can be understood through couples counseling) is a great thing to do before marriage simply because it will stop you from projecting out your disappointment in married life (which might happen occasionally) onto your spouse. Something that usually occurs in the form of blame, or in feeling let down and alone in some way.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.