What is premarital counseling? What to expect in pre-marital counseling?
Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage and the challenges, benefits, and rules that comes with it.
Counseling before marriage helps to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship which gives you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.
It can also help you identify your individual weaknesses that could become a problem after marriage and also tries to offer a solution.
So, when should you start pre-marital counseling?
Most couples think they should start premarital counseling two or three weeks to their marriage. But, this sort of mentality should not be encouraged. Pre-wedding counseling should be started as soon as possible.
You should start going for therapy sessions as soon as you are sure of your stand in the relationship.
You should also note that marriage counseling before marriage is not just for couples who are planning to get married in a month or two; it is also for couples who are into a new relationship.
It gives the partners in the new relationship a chance of identifying their individual weaknesses that could become problems in a relationship.
It also ensures that partners have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship that gives them a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.
Hence, pre-marital counseling should be started as soon as possible.
Starting couples counseling before marriage with a certified therapist or marriage counselor gives you an edge over those starting a few weeks to their marriage.
Some of the advantages of starting premarriage counseling early in a relationship over starting late are:
Also watch: Important pre-marital counseling questions
1. Enhances relationship communication
As it is known that there is no relationship without communication, and one of the most important aspects of any marriage is effective communication with your partner.
Early pre-marital counseling therapy sessions help you learn how to be a very good listener and also how to talk to your partner; therefore, you know what the other person wants and needs.
A study conducted to examine the effect of communication skills on the marital satisfaction of couples attending premarriage counseling concluded that communication and marital satisfaction of the couples attending pre-marital counseling was significantly higher than couples who did not attend premarital counseling.
When you stay with someone day in and day out, it is very easy to take each other for granted, but by keeping an open line of communication and expressing yourself to one another builds a relationship that can withstand the test of time.
The sooner you start pre-marital counseling, the sooner you can enhance your relationship.
2. Planning the future
The future has always been uncertain, but there are measures you can take to guide your relationship to a more fulfilling tomorrow.
However, when it comes to planning the future, many couples fail to find the most optimal way to do so. This is where premarital counselors can guide you towards the right path.
Premarital counselors do more than just helping couples talk through their current issues. They also help couples plan for their future.
A counselor can help couples set financial, physical, or family planning goals, and can offer them a reliable way to accomplish those goals.
Thereby starting solution-focused premarital counseling early in a relationship goes a very long way in planning for the future of that relationship.
3. Utilizing the counselor’s wisdom
Sharing issues with someone who has been working with married couples for a while is another big benefit of seeking pre-marital counseling early.
When you talk to a marriage counselor, you get an experienced voice of wisdom on the subject of marriage. A marriage counselor gets to share their knowledge and experiences on how to keep the marriage healthy.
As it is known that the more time you spend on something, the more knowledge you gain on it. The more time you go for premarital therapy sessions, the more experience and wisdom you gain from the counselor.
This can be done by starting premarital counseling as early as possible once you are in a relationship.
4. Discover new things about yourself
As it is being said – you cannot know all about your partner. Many people think they know everything about their partner; meanwhile, there is a lot that their partner does not feel comfortable and relaxed to tell them.
Early premarital therapy sessions give you the opportunity and freedom to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations between you and your partner.
Like his or her dark secrets, hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations.
Marriage counselors and therapists ask a lot of questions when they are working with couples that are considering long term commitment, such as marriage.
During this process, partners are able to see new attributes of their partners. This also helps them realize how right they are for each other.
5. An intervention to help relationships
It’s important not to have ‘getting married’ as the primary goal for going for pre-marital counseling. The main goal should be to build a loving, lasting, healthy, strong marriage.
That’s why early pre-marital counseling should be mandatory.
Premarital counseling can be considered as early an intervention to help you improve your relationship, set realistic goals, and expectations. It also teaches you how to manage conflict and arguments effectively and positively.
It gives you an opportunity to discuss and express your values and beliefs about important matters in a relationship.
Such as finances, family, parenting, children, your beliefs, and value about being married and what it takes to make a marriage healthy, strong, and last.
There might be many different philosophies of premarital counseling, but in the end, it is a holistic approach to test your ability to form a happy and fulfilling relationship with your partner.
You do not have to be perfect for each other, but if you engage in pre-marital counseling, it can help you gain the ability to learn, grow, and become competent for each other.
So, no matter what your preference is, be it Christian pre-marital counseling, online premarital counseling, etc., ask yourself what premarriage counseling questions would you like to address and for an appropriate counselor to find the answers.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.