Pre-marital counselling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage and the challenges, benefits and rules that comes with it. Premarital counselling helps to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship which gives you a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage. It can also help you identify your individual weaknesses that could become problems during marriage and also tries to proffer a solution.
Most couples think they should start pre-marital counselling two or three weeks to their marriage. But, this sort of mentality should not be encouraged.
Pre-marital counselling should be started as soon as possible. You should start going for therapy sessions as soon as you are sure of your stand in the relationship. You should also note that premarital counselling is not for couples who are planning to get married in a month or two; it is also for couples who are into a new relationship. It gives the partners in the new relationship a chance of identifying their individual weaknesses that could become problems in a relationship and it also ensure partners have a strong, healthy, non-toxic relationship which gives them a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.
Summarily, pre-marital counselling should be started as soon as possible.
Starting a pre-marital therapy session with a certified therapist or marriage counselor gives you an edge over those starting a few weeks to their marriage. Some of the advantages starting pre-marriage counselling early in a relationship over starting late are:
1. It enhances communication between partners
As it is known that there is no relationship without communication. And as it is known, one of the most important aspects of any marriage is an effective communication with your partner. Early pre-marital counselling therapy sessions help you learn how to be a very good listener and also how to talk to your partner; therefore you know how to talk to your partner and what the other person wants and needs. When you stay with someone day in and day out, it is very easy to take each other for granted, but by keeping an open line of communication and expressing love to one another builds a relationship that can withstand storms and test of time. This can only be enhanced if you start pre-marital counselling early.
2. It helps in planning for the future
Premarital counselors do more than just helping couples talk through their current issues. They also help couples plan for the future. A counselor can help couples set financial, physical or family planning goals, and can proffer them a reliable way to accomplish those goals. Thereby starting pre-marital counselling early in a relationship goes a very long way in planning for the future of the partners.
3. Better absorption of the counselor’s wisdom
Sharing issues with someone who has been married for a while is another big benefit of seeking premarital counselling early. When you talk to a marriage counselor, you get a firsthand or primary voice of wisdom on the subject of marriage. A marriage counselor gets to share their experiences and the sacrifices they’ve made to keep the marriage healthy.
As it is known that the more time you spend on something, the more knowledge you gain on it. The more time you go for pre-marital therapy sessions, the more experience and wisdom you gain from the counselor.
This can be done by starting pre-marital counselling as early as possible once you are in a relationship.
4. It helps couples to discover new things about themselves
As it is being said – you cannot know all about your partner. Many people think they know everything about their partner meanwhile, there is a lot that their partner does not feel comfortable and relaxed to tell them.
Early premarital therapy sessions give you the opportunity and freedom to discuss things that do not come up in normal conversations between you and your partner, like his or her dark secrets, hurtful past experiences, sex, and expectations. Marriage counselors and therapists ask a lot of questions when they are working with couples that are considering long term commitment such as marriage.
5. It serves as an intervention to help relationships
It’s important to not let getting married the primary goal of going for premarital counselling, but the main goal should be, to build a loving, lasting, healthy, strong marriage. That’s why early premarital counselling should be mandatory, and I consider it as early intervention to help you improve your relationship, help you set realistic goals and expectations, teaches you how to manage conflict and arguments effectively and positively.
It also gives you an opportunity to discuss and express your values and beliefs about important matters in a relationship, such as finances, family, parenting, children, and you and your partner think, believe and value about being married and what it takes to make a marriage healthy, strong and last.