10 Tips to Handle Being Accused of Cheating When Innocent

If you are being accused of cheating when you are not, you are just going to have to deal with this problem head-on otherwise it will end your relationship.

Jealousy is a living animal. It is a hard master to please. It lives and breathes. It talks, it eats, and it grows. The more someone talks to it, the more it has to say. The more it’s fed, the stronger it becomes.

What does it mean when you are being accused of cheating

Cheating is selfish, so is jealousy.

But if you’re wrongly accused it is even more selfish.

Before you read further, make sure that you are NOT actually cheating. Cheating is a thick grey line. It is always subject to interpretation. What could be an innocent banter with an old friend to you, could be cheating to your partner.

This means that we reached the point where you have to decide what to do when you are being accused of cheating when you are not. 

Sometimes, false accusations are a sign of abuse

It can be hard to read emotional abuse right at the start. While physical violence can clearly be reported, it takes a while to understand if what you are going through is a form of abuse or not. However, emotional abuse can affect a person in grave ways. 

Falsely accusing someone is a form of emotional abuse. As per the reports, around 12 million people are abused every year in the US. It is important to create some space in the relationship to put an end to these problems.

Related Reading: How to Identify and Respond to Emotional and Mental Abuse

10 tips to handle being accused of cheating when innocent

Tired of being accused of cheating?

Being falsely accused of cheating when innocent can be heartbreaking. You might not know what path to take because it comes as a surprise and there’s hardly any justification.

If you feel you are being accused of cheating when innocent, here are 10 tips to your rescue:

1. Internalize their definition of cheating

It doesn’t matter what we interpret as infidelity; It doesn’t matter what you think, what your friends think, what the Priest thinks, what your neighbor and their dog thinks, the only opinion that matters is what your partner believes.

If they believe messaging your ex for any reason is cheating or when someone keeps accusing you of cheating, then, it’s cheating. If it’s important to talk to them for some reason, say, a child, then make sure your current partner is present and involved in the conversation.

Also Try: What Do You Consider Cheating Quiz

2. Clarify

The ideal situation is to clear up these things before the two of you get in a relationship, but since ideal scenarios rarely happen in life, such misunderstandings happen and resolve it as it comes.

It’s important to be fair. If someone sets a condition about not allowing their exes to message, or go on an overnight trip with their hot boss, or talk to the flirty neighbor alone, then it applies to both parties. Unfairness creates cracks in the relationship just as much as mistrust. 

2. Don’t feed the beast

Reasoning with irrationality is a waste of time.

It does, however, feed the beast. It will only make you look defensive, and in their eyes, it means you have something to hide.

Even if you’re the best trial lawyer in the state with an ironclad alibi, you’re not going to win against an imagined ghost if you are accused of cheating when you’re not. It can take any shape and form, and it can say or do anything.  Jealousy over something that doesn’t exist doesn’t make sense, but it does happen.

It can only be beaten by trust.

3. Trust

Trust and effort are two sides of the same coin. Avoid saying and doing things that would plant the seeds of doubt. I understand that the side making unjustifiable accusations is also building cracks in the relationship, but the other party will just have to endure it for as long as they can.

If you love a person, you are just going to have to adjust for them, and if they love you, they will eventually come to trust you. This will go on for as long as it takes, or at least until one party blows up from the suffocating relationship and calls it off.

Related Reading: 15 Ways on How to Build Trust in a Relationship

4. Be considerate

Wondering, “Why does my partner accuse me of cheating?”

Even if you haven’t cheated in the past, it’s difficult to convince someone who has trust issues. If the source of mistrust has a basis, then you are going to have to understand and be more considerate.

Regardless of past events, if you value the relationship, and as long as you do, you’re going to have to live with it. There is no time limit, no standard or average statistic, it’s as long as you value your relationship and the person. 

5. Be transparent

When someone accuses you of cheating, one way to build trust is don’t fight it.

The more you argue, the more you feed the beast. Just be transparent, provide proof as it happens. It will be annoying at first. Actually, it will be annoying the entire time, but the pillar of trust is built over time and has strong foundations.

One brick at a time.

So let them have their way, take them on ghost hunts. The longer this goes on, the more it will break their pride and it will eventually break down. It’s a battle of wills, but it’s also a battle of love. Either the distrustful partner changes or the effort partner changes, someday, something’s going to give.

Related Reading: 11 Secrets to Enhance Transparency in a Relationship

6. Be calm

If you are being accused of cheating when innocent, figure out a calm way of getting your point across. You are not cheating, you are letting them have their way to prove it. You love and care about them and your relationship together. But someday, you are going to put your foot down and that will be the end of it.

Do not say it bluntly. If you are confrontational with an irrational person, they will interpret that as a sign of guilt. Drop the subject the moment they become agitated. If you truly know the person, you should be able to figure out a way to get your point across before it’s too late.

Once you have said your piece, do not bring it up again. If it doesn’t sink the first time, it never will, and you are in a toxic relationship.

We don’t recommend staying in those.

Related Reading: How Do I Control My Anger Outbursts and Calm My Nerves?

7. Opt for counseling

It’s hard dealing with a jealous and irrational person.

When they accuse you of cheating, it is ego and selfishness that drives them to act that way. It is also possible that you created this monster because of your past infidelity. If that is the case, then you’re just reaping what you have sown.

But if your partner is acting like that because of her own past, and you’re being accused of cheating when innocent, consider counseling. It’s difficult to go through it alone, and if both of you do care about your relationship, then it shouldn’t be a problem.

This is what you should do when you are being accused of cheating when you are not.

Related Reading: Different Types of Counseling That Works Best for You

8. Practice self-care

It can be draining to be dragged in a mesh of someone else’s thoughts, especially when they have built a negative picture of you. Make sure you don’t lose track of yourself and your well-being in the process of fixing the relationship.

If you are being accused of cheating when innocent, take care of yourself, that is your mental and physical health before anything else.

It’s easy to put ourselves aside when consumed by love but continuing to practice self-care is a crucial habit that we need to keep up with when falling in love.

Related Reading: The 5 Pillars of Self-Care

Here are habits to practice self-love while in a relationship that will change your life.

9. Skip the monotony

Spend quality time with each other in order to work on the relationship. You both can go out on a vacation in order to bring back the lost trust. If your partner thinks you are cheating, it is best to spend some time with them and assure them they are in a safe space and the relationship is going just fine.

10. Listen

How to respond to cheating accusations?

When your partner is accusing you of cheating, make sure you listen to them attentively to understand their thought patterns that are leading to this problem. It is best to go to the root cause of the problem and fix the issue than just superficially discuss it.

Related Reading: The Importance of Art of Listening in a Relationship

Takeaway

Being falsely accused of infidelity or wrong accusations can break you. However, a relationship is all about effort. Trust the process and try to keep the relationship as positive as possible.

However, if you feel the situation is just beyond control and your partner refuses to improve, it is best to break free and hit the restart button of your life.