You meet someone, and you just click with each other. You start dating and move forward. You might even see yourself settling down for good.

It seems so easy, but the reality is it’s not.

The reality is you meet someone, and you get attracted. Then, everything else is a blur. You find yourself in a situationship, and you just wonder where you stand with this person. 

But are you wondering how to turn a situationship into a relationship?

Let’s tackle one of the most complicated ‘relationships’ of today, and who knows, with enough knowledge, you might turn your situationship into a relationship. 

What is a situationship?

At first, this may be a little bit confusing. So before we learn how to deal with a situationship, we first need to understand what it is.

By definition, a situationship is the feeling of being in a relationship but not having any labels.

It’s deeper than just friendship but less than a relationship.

Now, you may think about friends with benefits, but it’s also not like that.

Friends with benefits are available to satisfy each other’s carnal desires, and that’s it.

With situationship, there are times when you seem like a couple, and then you’re not.

It’s still a bit confusing, right? That’s precisely the point! People who are stuck in a situationship feel confused – all the time.

Is being in a situationship a bad thing?

Being in a situationship isn’t entirely bad. It’s more common than you think. Today, people may feel lonely and want to test the waters first before committing to a serious relationship.

It has its pros and cons, but the real question is, how long do situations last?

Does it guarantee a turn of a situationship into a relationship in the future?

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A playful guide, not a verdict. Real relationships are beautifully complex and always worth nurturing.

Let’s weigh the pros and cons of being in a situationship. 

What are the pros and cons of being in a situationship?

If you are looking for situationship advice or a guide, let’s start with checking the pros and cons of being in this type of agreement.

Here are the pros and cons of being in a situationship.

Pro: The thrill is addicting

If you are in a situationship, the thrill is always there. There is something about the chase that makes everything addicting.

Con: You’re not moving forward

The thrill is nice, but for how long? With a situationship, you’re not moving forward. You are stuck in the limbo of being close friends and lovers.

Pro: No label, no pressure

When you’re in a relationship, you will experience pressure to tell your partner where you are, what you are doing, and what time you will come home. Skip that when you’re in a situationship because you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Con: No label, no rights

At the same time, being in a situationship means you have no right to call this person your partner. You don’t have the right to get angry if this person flirts with other people.

Pro: You have an easy way out

You realize there is no situationship in the relationship that is going to happen. It means getting over a situationship is easier than having a real committed relationship.

Con: Your friendship is at stake

However, don’t expect that you can salvage your friendship after getting out of a situationship. It’s nearly impossible to go back to just being friends.

Pro: It’s cool, you have choices

As some people say, there are still many fish in the sea. So people in situationship want to explore and are not ready to get tied down with commitment.

Con: The chances of getting hurt are high 

But what if you’re the one who falls first and hard? Being in a situationship can lead to heartbreak. Can you imagine the pain of learning how to move on from a situationship that failed to become a relationship?

15 clear signs you are in a situationship

Situationships can still be quite confusing. That’s why we’ve compiled the top signs you are in a situationship. By knowing the signs, you’ll have more time and more facts to ponder.

1. You don’t go on serious dates

One situationship sign is that you don’t go on serious dates. You can ‘hang out’ and be intimate, but that’s it. 

You won’t find yourself on a romantic date where you just look at each other’s eyes and hold hands. Talk about how much you love each other and enjoy being in love.

2. There is no consistency in your actions

Your special someone makes you feel special. You feel that there is something real going on. Then ghosting happens.

What’s sad is that this isn’t even the first time this has happened.

This is one of the bitter realities of situationship. There is no consistency in this person’s actions.

3. You have different lives

How well do you know this person? 

Where does this person live and study, or how much information did this person share with you? 

When you ask your partner about something personal, they might try to change the topic or give you a vague answer. 

Sadly, you are not a part of their lives. Most of the time, people in situationships will live different lives.

4. You can ditch any plans

A person in a relationship will make an effort to commit to your plans or dates.

This is not the same case with situationships. This person can call you at the last minute and cancel just because of a shallow reason.

What will hurt is you can’t even get angry because you’re not in a relationship.

5. You don’t plan or talk about your future

Future? What future? If this person laughs at an attempt to talk about your future – it’s a toxic situationship.

It only means this person has never considered going from a situationship to a relationship.

6. Your partner can date other people

Everything may look ‘cool’ for the first few weeks or months – until you realize that this person can date another person.

This is the sad reality of not having a committed relationship.

7. You’re not moving forward

Most of the time, a situationship is just to test the waters, but you still expect to move forward.

Unfortunately, some situationship never do. You just realize you have spent weeks, months, or years for nothing.

8. You haven’t felt that deep connection

You get each other, but not on a deeper level.

Have you ever had a serious conversation? Have you felt that this person just gets you for who you are? There is no intimacy. No connection.

9. You’re not included in their plans

Do you know what hurts? Realizing that you’re not included in this person’s plans.

This person may want to move to another state, get their apartment, or travel abroad, and not a single word from them about these plans.

10. You don’t talk about labels

You may find that your friends would start teasing you about your status, but you just smile because you haven’t talked about labels yet.

If you try to, this person may try to change the subject, giving you one of the signs of situationship.

11. Your partner’s family and friends don’t know you

Deep inside, you might want this person to invite you to a family or a friend’s dinner, but sadly, this doesn’t happen.

If you were to ask the people close to your partner, they would probably say they’re single.

12. Your partner doesn’t ‘flex’ you

You can take photos together, but this person may ask you not to post them on social media.

This person might start giving you an explanation about keeping it private, or it’s not yet the right time.

13. You’ve never been the ‘plus one’

This person may be friendly, often going to parties, but you were never invited to be the +1.

If you’re in the same company, you can’t even go there together.

14. You’re beginning to feel hurt

A situationship in a relationship that doesn’t happen will begin to hurt. You’re only human; sooner or later, one will fall – hard, and if this happens, it will hurt.

15. Your gut says there is something wrong

You feel it, don’t you?  

You feel that there’s something wrong with your situationship. You’re not moving forward, and you know that it’s time to turn your situationship into a relationship. 

How long should you stay in a situationship?

No one talks about how long a situationship lasts. The people involved in a situationship just go with the flow.

One day, they realize that they need to have the “talk,” and that changes everything.

If it goes well, they will commit and have a real relationship. Sadly, not everyone gets to have a happy ever after. Most situationships end in goodbyes.

13 ways to turn a situationship into a relationship that lasts

The realization that you’re not the one for this person or that your partner doesn’t show interest in committing to you will make you realize that you deserve more.

Here’s how to get out of a situationship and start a real relationship.

1. Allow your partner to enter your world

The transition from a situationship to a relationship does not happen overnight.

You can start by bringing your partner into your life. Invite them when you’re with your friends. You don’t have to tell them that this person is your partner; just allow them to see who you are and what you do. Open yourself up and let them in.

2. Ditch the casual meet-ups with intimate dating

Don’t just remember each other when you’re lonely or want to be sexually intimate.

Try turning that midnight rendezvous into an actual date. Try to plan it ahead of time, have coffee, or eat lunch. This would be an excellent opportunity to get to know each other and have a deep conversation.

3. Talk and see each other more

Make time for each other. Hang out more often. It’s one of the best ways to turn a situationship into a relationship. 

How can you become closer if you don’t see each other often? You can find ways to spend time with each other.

4. Talk about your feelings

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker

It is important to be open and sincere when talking about feelings. Express clearly but also try to understand the other person. Listen empathetically and show understanding.

Use a soft tone and maintain your communication on the basis of respect and love. By this, you can strengthen your emotional bond and take your relationship to a deeper level.

Learning how to turn a situationship into a relationship won’t be possible if you don’t speak up.

You’re stuck in this situation, and you want more. Then, it’s time to tell this person that you’re in love, and it’s time to make it exclusive.

It’s being true to yourself and knowing what you deserve.

5. Introduce your partner to your friends

It’s also time to ditch the ‘mystery’ about the person behind your smile.

Have your partner meet your friends; you can even hang out together. It’s another way to bring your situationship to the next level.

6. Introduce your partner to your family

Once your partner is comfortable around your friends and you see progress, it’s time to invite your partner to dinner with your family.

This can make your partner realize that you’ve got something serious.

7. Get to know what your partner wants

Your partner may have already noticed that there’s more going on with your situationship. If this person sees the changes, it’s time for you to ask what this person really wants.

According to marriage & family therapist Jelisha Gatling:

Let’s say you’ve expressed your desire to move from a situationship to a committed relationship, and your partner says they need more time. If you don’t want to give an ultimatum, there is an alternative that won’t keep you waiting around aimlessly. 

I call it an “inner contract”. This entails reflecting on how much more time you are willing to invest before calling it quits. You don’t have to share that timeline with them. Make a pact with yourself, and if your partner isn’t ready by that time, free yourself to find a partner who is ready to commit to you.

You may not get a straight answer; this person may require time, but at the least, you’re seeing progress.

8. Show your love

Psychologist Mert Şeker says

Small gestures and careful actions to show your love can make a big difference. Caring for their interests in their daily life is a good way to express love.

Touching often, making heartfelt compliments, and spending time together to collect meaningful memories can also be effective in making each other feel loved.

It’s understandable if you are afraid to show how you really feel. You risk being hurt, but don’t we all?

There is nothing wrong with showing this person that you’re in love, but you still need to know you’re worth more than a situationship.

If this person doesn’t see your love, then it’s time to let go.

9. Talk about it

All these actions will only lead to one thing – setting things clear.

This means you have to talk about it. Again, it’s all about communication.

Open up, explain your part, and just be sincere. It’s time to talk about these things together.

You just have to be prepared. You will hear lots of excuses, a diversion of topics, and even a clear rejection of turning a situationship into a relationship.

10. Set an ultimatum

We also don’t want to force anything.

If your partner tries to ask for more time, that’s okay, but know that you, too, deserve a direct answer. Give an ultimatum.

Set things clear and let your partner know that they need to choose and that you know what you deserve. You don’t have to fight since this situationship was your decision. However, do let this person know that now, you want commitment. 

11. Engage in shared activities or hobbies

Finding and engaging in shared interests can strengthen your bond. Participate in activities that both of you enjoy, whether it’s hiking, painting classes, cooking together, or joining a club or group. This not only creates shared memories and experiences but also shows commitment to spending quality time together beyond casual meet-ups.

12. Seek and offer support

Make an effort to be there for your partner during times of need and encourage them to do the same. This is an important step if you are trying to learn how to move from a situationship to a relationship. 

Being each other’s support system in both good times and bad can strengthen the emotional connection and demonstrate the potential for a deeper, more meaningful relationship. This includes listening to each other’s concerns, celebrating successes, and providing comfort during tough times.

13. Evaluate and express future goals

Discuss your individual future goals and visions to see where they align. This conversation can include career aspirations, personal growth, and even relationship expectations. 

Understanding and respecting each other’s future plans can help both parties determine if they envision a shared path forward. This step requires vulnerability but can significantly deepen the connection and clarify whether both partners are seeking the same type of relationship. 

Do you think the person you are in a situationship with is in love with you? Relationship coach Clayton Olson tackles the hidden signs that a man is falling in love with you. Watch it here.

How do you get over and move on from a situationship

Once you have realized what you want, it’s time to move on and turn your situationship into a relationship.  

However, you have to prepare yourself, too. You need to have a clear mind and see what your partner is showing you. 

If everything goes south, you should be brave and move on.

Psychologist Mert Şeker says

It is important to be brave in life, to be open to new experiences, to overcome fears, and to achieve our goals. Courage pushes us beyond our limits and encourages us to grow and develop.

Acting with courage enables us to overcome difficulties, supports us to be open to innovations, and makes it easier for us to achieve success in different areas of life.

You need to know how to get over a situationship for your own sake. 

• Prepare yourself

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. It’s better to give your all and to take that chance to ask your partner if they can commit than to regret it.

But also be aware of the risks. Love itself is a risk.

Prepare yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

You will experience heartbreak, but it’s a risk worth taking then to wait for someone who doesn’t want to move forward.

• Know that you did your best

If your partner is not yet ready to commit or is not interested in having a real relationship with you, then that’s your answer right there.

You need to know how to get over a situationship – fast. There is no point in staying in this type of setup.

You did your best, and you did your part. At least now, you don’t have to guess what your real score is.

• Know that you deserve better

Love yourself enough to walk away from a setup that will not be good for you.

You are just wasting time being in a situationship where the other person doesn’t even see you as a potential partner. 

FAQs

Converting a situationship into a relationship requires deliberate actions and clear communication. Here’s how to navigate these complex dynamics:

• How do you convert a situationship into a relationship?

Initiate open, honest conversations about your feelings and relationship goals. Gradually increase the depth and frequency of your interactions, and introduce them to your personal life, friends, and possibly family. 

Express your needs clearly and observe if they are willing to meet them, indicating a move towards a more committed relationship.

• How to tell if a situationship will turn into a relationship?

Observe if there’s a mutual effort to deepen the connection beyond casual hangouts. 

Signs include frequent communication, making plans for the future, meeting each other’s friends and family, and having discussions about feelings and commitment. Consistent, positive changes in these areas suggest the situationship is evolving into a relationship.

• How long does a situationship last?

A situationship can last from a few weeks to several months. It depends on the individuals involved and their intentions. Some may prefer keeping things casual and non-committal, while others may seek clarity and transition into a formal relationship. 

If it extends beyond a few months without progress, it may remain undefined without explicit conversations.

• What are the red flags in a situationship?

Red flags include inconsistent communication, avoidance of deep or future-oriented conversations, reluctance to introduce you to their friends or family, and a general lack of effort in the relationship. 

Feeling uncertain about where you stand, experiencing emotional unavailability, or noticing a one-sided investment are also significant warning signs.

Conclusion

Situationships are complicated. People choose this setup, but when you’re in a situationship, you will realize how toxic, complicated, and unfair it is.

Can you imagine staying in this setup for months or even years, and then you’ll just hear the news that your partner is now in a relationship with another person?

How painful is that?

That’s why many people soon want to turn their situationship into a relationship. Now, it’s up to you to work on this transition, but like any other relationship, there are risks involved.

With all the things you can do to move forward, you owe yourself to be happy. However, if the other person is not yet ready, then it’s time to move forward with your life.

Psychologist Mert Şeker states

Being aware of your own worth in life is the foundation for developing healthy self-esteem and self-confidence. Knowing our own worth is more about how we look at ourselves than how others see us. This helps us build healthy relationships, make positive decisions, and stay focused on our own goals.

You deserve a genuine relationship. You deserve happiness, and somewhere out there, someone will love you like this – but you need to love and respect yourself first.

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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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