10 Benefits of Kissing During Sex & Tips for Better Kisses

Kissing has a quiet power that often goes unnoticed. It slows things down; it softens the moment, deepens it, makes everything feel more connected. Sometimes it’s gentle and lingering… other times playful, hungry, reassuring. A kiss can say “I want you,” “I’m here,” or “this feels safe,” all at once.

It’s not just about lips touching, but about breath, timing, closeness, and trust. During intimacy, kissing can heighten sensation, build emotional closeness, and create a sense of being truly seen.

When kissing during sex feels natural and present, it can turn a physical experience into something warmer, more memorable, even grounding. Small shifts in attention, pressure, and intention can make a surprising difference; and sometimes, that’s exactly what closeness needs.

What role does kissing play during sex?

Kissing during sex often acts like an emotional bridge. It slows the pace, heightens sensation, and reminds both partners that connection matters just as much as pleasure. A kiss can communicate comfort, desire, reassurance, or playfulness… sometimes all at once.

It helps bodies feel in sync and minds feel safe to open. When people wonder “what does kissing during sex mean?” the answer is usually closeness; being present, wanted, and emotionally involved, not just physically engaged, in those quiet, shared moments!

10 benefits of kissing during sex & tips for better kisses

Kissing often does more than add pleasure; it brings warmth, connection, and presence into intimacy. Some couples naturally lean into it; others pause and wonder, “Do you kiss during sex?” often enough.

Small moments of closeness can shift the entire experience, making it feel more meaningful, relaxed, and emotionally charged in the best way.

1. Kissing is the key to arousal

When you’re in the moment of intense and passionate kissing during sex, do you feel your heart racing and your body literally feeling hot?

Relationship coach Christiana Njoku says,

One of the quickest ways to get sexually aroused is by engaging in intense kissing.

Kissing is one of the best ways to get “in the mood” for some hot lovemaking.  As you start kissing your partner, both of your bodies react.

Slowly, your body begins to prepare for more. You will notice that your temperature rises, you become more assertive, your heart races, and soon you start touching each other. When you are fully aroused, your orgasm is better and much more satisfying.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Start slow; let kissing build naturally before increasing intensity.
• Pay attention to your partner’s breathing and responses to adjust your pace accordingly.
• Combine kissing with a light touch to help arousal unfold gradually.

2. Kissing relieves anxiety and stress

Having sex while you are under a lot of stress isn’t really satisfying. If you want awesome sex, then allow yourself to enjoy and give in to passionate kissing.  

Christiana Njoku adds,

It takes intentionality with a high level of consciousness to have better sex and engage in kissing your spouse.

As your body releases love and happy hormones, it also lowers your cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for managing stress and is even a marker for depression.

So, aside from making you happier, kissing sex will also help you lower your stress and anxiety levels. If you are relaxed and focused on what you are doing, you will enjoy sex better.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Focus entirely on the moment; put distractions like phones away.
• Keep kisses unhurried to help both of you relax into a sense of closeness.
• Use gentle, reassuring contact when stress feels present.

3. Kissing strengthens your bond

Kissing and having sex are important factors in any relationship. It is one of the glues that will strengthen your love for each other. Kissing and intimacy go hand in hand because when you kiss, you share a deep connection. 

The hormone oxytocin has a role here, too. As your body releases this hormone, you become more open to your partner. You trust, feel vulnerable, relax, and connect with each other.

As you enjoy kissing and passionate lovemaking, your bond becomes stronger – leading to better sex and a better non-sexual bond.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Make eye contact between kisses to reinforce emotional connection.
• Kiss with intention, not just habit.
• Create space for closeness without rushing toward an outcome.

4. Kissing will make your sex life better

Why does kissing feel good? More accurately, who doesn’t want to have a better sex life?

Let’s admit it, good foreplay will make sex better, and sexual kissing is one of the best ways to ignite that fire inside your partner. Kissing while having sex is not just a major turn-on, but it will also make you reach an intense orgasm.

If you spend time enjoying the art of kissing sex, then you’ll see how much it can improve your sex life. So, don’t be shy and kiss your way to arousal and satisfying lovemaking.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Treat kissing as part of foreplay, not something to skip.
• Explore different pressures and rhythms instead of repeating the same style.
• Let kissing continue throughout intimacy, not only at the beginning.

5. Kissing boosts your happy hormone

Locking lips with your partner is kissing foreplay, and it doesn’t just help you get aroused; it also makes you feel happier. When you kiss, happy hormones are released.

Meet oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine— the three hormones responsible for making you feel happier. No wonder kissing is so addictive. 

When you kiss your partner, the rush of happy hormones doesn’t just make you feel good—it also fosters closeness, joy, and mutual understanding in your relationship.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Kiss often outside the bedroom to reinforce emotional closeness.
• Stay present instead of treating kissing as a means to an end.
• Notice how your body responds and lean into what feels good.

6. Kissing can help cure headaches and cramps

Do you suffer from those annoying headaches and cramps? Does this get in the way of your lovemaking? 

If you do, instead of declining sexy time with your partner, you might want to reconsider. Remember those three happy hormones? They are also responsible for relieving pain. Aside from that, kissing can also help relieve cramps and headaches. 

Sex becomes way better and pleasurable without those nasty headaches and cramps. If you have headaches or even menstrual cramps, you might want to ask your partner to kiss and make love.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Keep things gentle if your body feels sensitive or tired.
• Use kissing to ease into intimacy rather than pushing through discomfort.
• Communicate openly about what feels soothing in the moment.

7. Kissing can help with good oral hygiene

Kissing is more enjoyable if your partner is both skilled at locking lips and practices good oral hygiene. Good oral hygiene makes kissing more enjoyable, encouraging more moments of closeness.

We all know that when we kiss, we exchange saliva – lots of it. But did you know that kissing also makes our mouths secrete more saliva? This helps wash away that nasty plaque that is responsible for cavities. 

If you and your partner have good oral health, no doubt that kissing will be much more pleasurable for both of you and will improve your sex life.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Maintain regular oral care to feel confident and comfortable.
• Stay hydrated to avoid dry mouth during kissing.
• Be mindful of your partner’s comfort and preferences.

8. Kissing will help you burn calories

Don’t expect kissing to help you lose weight, but it does help you burn a few calories.

Kissing during sex and other fun lovemaking activities is a fun way to exercise. So, if you are active in lovemaking and trying out different sex positions in bed, then you would be happy to know that you are also burning calories.

Kissing and lovemaking are a sure fun way to work out!

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Stay active and engaged rather than passive during intimacy.
• Let kissing flow naturally with movement and touch.
• Focus on enjoyment instead of performance or effort.

9. Kissing amps up your self-esteem

If you can turn him on while kissing, then you are a good lover. It boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel a whole lot better. What’s better is that this works both ways!

Your partner, who is receiving all the love and kisses, will also get a boost of self-esteem. Imagine receiving a passionate kiss before heading to work – wouldn’t that give you the inspiration you need?

Self-esteem makes us better lovers. If we know what we can offer, we will be confident in how we please our partners and vice versa. Feeling loved and wanted is a great way to motivate yourself to please your partner.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Kiss with confidence rather than self-judgment.
• Respond positively to your partner’s affection.
• Allow yourself to feel wanted and appreciated.

10. Kissing helps you assess your compatibility

Kissing is a great way to know if you are sexually compatible with someone. It is a powerful way to explore your emotional and physical compatibility. We all know that foreplay is kissing sexually and intimately with your partner, but sometimes, you just don’t click. 

There can be many reasons why this happens.  Some have bad oral hygiene, some can be a total bore when it comes to kissing and lovemaking, and others don’t feel that ‘spark’ that we are looking for.

We have to admit. There are instances where we just realize that we can’t go all the way with someone, and kissing is one way to find out.

By knowing and assessing your partner, you know that you will not just enjoy your sex life, but will also make sure that you are compatible with each other. So, before you go all the way, you’d already know if you are sexually compatible with your partner.

Here’s how to make it a better experience:

• Notice how comfortable and natural kissing feels between you.
• Pay attention to mutual effort and responsiveness.
• Trust your instincts about emotional and physical alignment.

Watch this TED Talk in which psychiatrist Dr Raj Persaud explains how relationship challenges shape our lives and how understanding attraction can improve connection and well-being:

Can kissing make sex better?

Often, yes… but in a quieter, more meaningful way. Kissing adds warmth, connection, and emotional presence to intimacy. For many couples, it’s a natural expression of affection and desire, helping partners feel closer and more in sync with each other.

Beyond pleasure, kissing can deepen trust and make the experience feel more relaxed and mutual. To enjoy kissing during sex or foreplay, we must, of course, be enticing for our partners.

What do we mean by this?

Before engaging in passionate kissing, remember the following:

• Practice good hygiene and grooming. Nobody wants to kiss a person who has poor hygiene.
• Don’t be shy. Remember that your partner can literally sense if you are timid and nervous. This doesn’t make a good first impression and might lead your partner to feel disappointed.
• Aside from kissing, also practice sensual touching. This will make your foreplay and lovemaking more enjoyable. Caress your partner, whisper, feel the heat of the moment.
• Be assertive and enjoy the moment. Take the initiative, but also take time to enjoy each other – literally.
• Don’t be afraid to be passionate. Don’t be shy! This is the time to show how much you want the person you are kissing. Enjoy, give in, and show your partner how good you are.
• Save the tongue. Not all people want to kiss and have some tongue action, especially on your first make-out session. Save it, and allow your partner to initiate the tongue action.

Take note and be ready to give and receive pleasure by kissing.

My partner doesn’t kiss me during sex – Help!

Now, what happens if your partner doesn’t kiss you when you make love?

The fact is, like many other sexual tips and tricks, kissing during sex will depend on your personal preferences. While many people love kissing, others don’t.

If you are aware that your partner isn’t into long kisses, then that’s okay. However, if this bothers you in any way or you feel like you’re not enjoying sex because you lack intimate kissing, then it’s time to speak with your partner.

When it comes to sex, we need to be transparent with our partners. Who doesn’t want to please their partners? You can talk about it and make ends meet. If there are underlying issues that can affect your relationship or marriage, then you can also seek professional help.

Key takeaway

Kissing often reminds us that intimacy isn’t only about intensity; it’s about presence, trust, and shared emotion. Small, thoughtful moments can soften tension, deepen desire, and make a connection feel mutual and safe. There’s no single right way, only what feels natural for both of you.

Paying attention, slowing down, and staying curious can change everything. Learning how to kiss during sex isn’t about perfection, but about responsiveness and care. When affection and awareness guide the moment, intimacy becomes warmer, more meaningful, and deeply satisfying… something you both feel, not just experience.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less