15 Tips on How to Be More Sexually Active

Most married couples at some point during their marriage find themselves experiencing a ‘dry spell,’ and when you do, you’ll probably find yourself looking and wondering what you can do to get some action in the bedroom.

While many people would advise you to try different ways, it’s better to pay attention to yourself and your routine to find out what works best for you. 

So, to help you along, we’re sharing some great secrets on how to become more sexually active.

Related Reading: 20 Sexual Habits That Can Hurt and Help Your Sex Life

15 Ways to Get More Sexually Active

Here are some tips that will help you improve your sexual stamina and make you more sexually active.

• Disconnect to connect

We’re all guilty of putting so much focus on our phones and our gadgets that we somehow forget that the real connection is what exists outside of such technology.

These days, it’s easier to post an ‘I love you’ on your partner’s social media – professing how much you love each other on social media, yet somehow these public proclamations of love can’t even get you a ‘yes’ in the bedroom.

Here’s a suggestion:

Try welcoming your partner at home with a kiss and a warm hug. Ask them about their day. Have a few hours where you’re just facing each other, just talking. Forget the world on your phones and see the world that is right in front of you.

This is a straightforward act that will undoubtedly help you get more sexually active and lead to a better sex life.

2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

When you have spent your days with your partner for so many years, it is inevitable that you and your partner sometimes coexist.

You may come to realize that you’ve turned into an excellent roommate to your significant other. You may spend so much time together, including your free time, that maybe you are taking each other and your life together for granted.  

To have better sex, why not spend a little of it away from each other? Learn a new hobby, sign up for classes, join organizations, spend time with your friends. 

The time you’ve spent away from each other will help you both look forward to the time that you will be spending together. The distance apart will help you improve your sex life. 

3. Spend some time with your partner

If you’re not spending much time with your partner, then make time for your partner. Plan and commit to attending date nights (no matter what occurs in your life or how much you don’t feel like going out). 

Watch a movie, have a picnic at the park, have dinner out of the house or do what millennials are currently doing, ‘Netflix and chill,’ meaning, stay home and watch movies indoors while you both relax and enjoy each other!

According to Danica Mitchell, a sex therapist:

An easy way to have fun dates is to center them around a theme, like trying every pizza shop in your neighborhood or watching a new movie every month.

It doesn’t matter what the activity is, as long as you’re just spending time with your partner, no distractions allowed, and be sure to focus on what you find attractive in your partner.  

In no time at all, you’ll start to notice those feelings develop into sexual attraction, and before you know it, you won’t need to think about how to become more sexually active.

The sexual tension built between you and your partner in that quality time will make you both want each other. 

Related Reading: 11 Ways to Have Quality Time With Your Partner

4. Send in reinforcements

Have you tried introducing or reintroducing pleasure-enhancers in the bedroom, such as toys?

Maybe you have toyed around with the idea of using such devices previously or already have tried it and realized how much it aided you and your partner to get into that extremely passionate mood.

Being adventurous in the bedroom might help you appear more sexually attractive. Being open about expressing your sexual desires may also encourage your partner to be more open about theirs, and it will help you both be better at sex.

Also Try: How Adventurous Are You in the Bedroom Quiz

5. Eat

The secret to becoming more sexually active in your marriage lies in food! Enjoy a meal with your partner – a meal that consists of aphrodisiacs.

Aphrodisiacs are any foods or substances that increase sexual desire. Among the most popular and easily accessible of these aphrodisiacs are dark chocolate and wine.

Have a date night and put these on the menu. Not only will these foods make you feel good, but they are also good at making you more sexually active.

6. Speak their language

Turn on your partner by trying to speak their language.

Gary Chapman, the author of the famous ‘5 Love Languages,’ says that speaking to your significant other does not merely involve words but a variety of other ways to send loud messages to your partner.  

When you understand how your partner communicates, you can do the same to them, which will bring you closer together, and you will understand how to be more sexual.

To know how to be more sexually active with your partner, it’s essential to know how your partner is communicating with you.

Here are some common and frequently overlooked ways your partner might be communicating to you:

• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service
• Giving gifts
• Spending quality time with you
• Physical touch.

Your partner will also communicate to you sexually in diverse ways – if you learn how they communicate in the bedroom, it will help you understand how to be more sexually active in your marriage.

Therapist Danica Mitchell further shares:

These love languages are a great starting point in talking about how you express and want to receive love, but everyone is unique, and there are more languages than just the 5.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

7. Get Active

Exercising can help increase libido, sexual excitement, and satisfaction.

The science behind it is that exercising helps in increasing blood flow throughout the body. 

Furthermore, exercising increases hormonal levels such as testosterone, the hormone responsible for boosting your sex drive or libido.

It’s an undeniable fact that once you have reaped the benefits of exercising, your partner will find you more sexually attractive, and thereby, you both will know how to have better sex. 

8. Reduce stress

Stress can decrease libido and sexual performance. It reduces your health and well-being, which in turn will reduce your sexual attractiveness, desires, and prowess. 

Taking care of yourself, relaxing appropriately, and discussing your situation with your partner will improve your health and promote strong communication between you and your partner.  

Reducing stress will help you build sexual stamina and will also help keep your mood better. 

Related Reading: How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

Watch this video to learn how to reduce stress and anxiety:

9. Eliminate bad habits 

Most habits to relax and unwind promote a false sense of relaxation and negatively influence sexual performance.  

For example, smoking, drugs, consuming alcohol or unhealthy foods, and sitting around watching television.

Whether you are feeling tired and lethargic due to your binge eating and TV watching habits or because you are dealing with the side effects of alcohol or cigarettes, these are a fast way to harm your longevity and enjoyment in the bedroom.  

Stimulants such as drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, and energy drinks narrow blood vessels and have been linked to dampening your sexual activeness, so get these out of the way, and you may find that you can have sex for a long time. 

It won’t be easy, but it surely will result in improving sex performance. 

10. Get a lot of sunshine and fresh air

It’s a well-known fact that sunshine and fresh air bring us a lot of life force and vitality, or at least it seems to – but did you know why? Or how can it be the best sex stamina tip?

At night (away from the sun, the body produces melatonin, which helps us sleep and also calms down our sexual desires. 

If you hang out in the sun, you reduce the melatonin, which will prolong your stamina and improve your sexual performance.  

Even in the winter, getting outside and letting the sun linger on your body will help you improve your sex life.  

11. Eat power foods 

Did you know that certain foods can increase blood flow? These foods will help your body and mind to feel better and increase your desire for sex. 

Here are some examples;

• Onions and Garlic – Improves blood circulation.
• Banana’s – Loaded with potassium which lowers your blood pressure (and boosts sexual performance).
• Chilies and Peppers – Naturally spicy and fabulous for helping your blood flow, it also reduces hypertension and inflammation.
• Salmon, tuna, avocado, and olive oil are rich in omega-three fatty acids, perfect for increased blood flow.  
• Peanuts and kidney beans contain vitamin B1 and help speed up reactive signals in your nervous system, which includes the messages from your brain to your genitals.
• Eggs – High in B vitamins, which can help balance hormone levels, decrease stress, and inhibit sexual performance.

Start to include some of these foods in your regular diet, and you’ll soon find that you are more sexually active than before.

Related Reading: 12 Foods That Increase Libido

12. Understand how your body works

Your sexual organs become stimulated by increased blood pressure, so it’s essential when increasing sexual performance naturally that you maintain your circulatory system.  

If you don’t, you can try all the tricks on how to become more sexually active in the book, but they probably won’t work. 

13. Understand the importance of foreplay

Foreplay is an often-overlooked important aspect of sex. Over the period of time, people start taking each other for granted, especially in bed, and they throw away the idea of foreplay completely. 

They jump directly into sex, which can be a major reason for decreased sexual stamina or desire. 

Please try to take out enough time for passionate kissing and touching before sex. It will help you last longer in bed, and the experience will be more fulfilling

Related Reading: 30 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life

14. Do not eat right before sex  

Having sex with your full stomach is a bad idea. You may try hard to make it better, but a bloated belly will make you feel tired soon. You will feel drowsy and detached from the experience. 

If you plan on having sex, please do not overeat or stuff yourself. Make sure you feel light and fresh, and all the food can be eaten after you are done in the bedroom. 

Also, avoid hot and spicy food before sex as it can cause acid reflux and force you to visit the bathroom during a steamy session.

15. Sleep well

If you want to enjoy sexual intimacy with your partner, it is important that you are not sleep-deprived. Make sure that you take 7-8 hours of quality sleep every day or feel tired and distracted. 

It will make you lose focus and make it challenging to last long in bed.

When a Low Libido Might Need More Than Lifestyle Changes

These tips work well for a lifestyle-driven dry spell, but a persistently low sex drive can also come from hormonal changes, certain medications, depression, or underlying relationship dissatisfaction that food and sunlight won’t fix. If you’ve tried several of these consistently without any real shift, that’s worth mentioning to a doctor rather than assuming you’re just not trying hard enough.

It’s also worth remembering that a difference in desire between you and your partner is common and doesn’t automatically mean something is broken. Some couples naturally have different baseline libidos, and the goal isn’t necessarily matching frequency, it’s making sure both of you feel heard about what you each want.

If low libido is affecting how connected you feel as a couple, a sex therapist or doctor can help you figure out what’s actually going on. Find a Therapist if that would help.

Conclusion

If you’re looking to increase sexual stamina or want to know how to become more sexually active, you are not alone. Many people out there are looking for stamina secrets or a road map to improved sex. 

Danica Mitchell concludes with:

After a “dry spell,” it is okay if sex feels a little awkward. But moving through that awkwardness can be very rewarding.

The above tips will help you improve your sexual performance in bed and grow intimacy in your relationship. 

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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