10 Thoughtful Ways to Connect Emotionally With Your Partner

One of the most satisfying benefits of friendships and love relationships is to form a connection on a deeper level with your partner or friends.

When we sense our link to those that we love, we feel the complete joy of being a valued human who holds an important place in the world.  

This feeling of connection is an integral part of our well-being.  It reminds us that our lives have meaning; it protects us from loneliness and proves to us that we are all part of the family of mankind.

To connect emotionally with your partner is an essential part of the process of falling-in-love, and one that often happens naturally as you spend time with your partner discovering them and how they perceive the world around them.  

As you share your views, you weave this emotional connection in the relationship, which is one of the guy wires that keeps your love relationship grounded and keeps it from flying away even in times of disagreement and other less-than-happy moments that happen to all marriages.  

But what if you are having trouble connecting emotionally with your spouse or partner?

You know you are in love, and you want to make sure this love stays strong.  You know that an emotional connection in marriage and relationships is just as important as a physical one.  

So, how to connect with your partner or, more specifically how to connect emotionally with your spouse?

What are some of the ways you can make sure you are doing everything you can to plant, nourish, and tend to your emotional connection with your spouse so that it blooms and takes root in order to help you through the rough patches that may occur during your life together?

What is an emotional connection in a relationship?

An emotional connection in a relationship refers to a deep and meaningful bond between two individuals. It involves a level of understanding, empathy, and trust that goes beyond the physical or superficial aspects of the relationship. 

When there is an emotional connection, both partners feel comfortable being vulnerable and sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings with one another. This connection allows them to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and support each other through difficult times. 

Emotional connection is essential for a healthy and long-lasting relationship, as it fosters intimacy, closeness, and a sense of security between partners.

How important is an emotional connection in a relationship?

An emotional connection is crucial in a relationship as it provides a foundation for intimacy, trust, and mutual understanding. It enables partners to be empathetic, compassionate, and supportive towards each other, even during tough times. 

Without an emotional connection, a relationship can become superficial and lack depth, leading to feelings of loneliness, dissatisfaction, and detachment. Furthermore, an emotional connection allows partners to communicate openly and honestly, share their thoughts and feelings, and address issues that may arise in the relationship.

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker:

Emotional connection is a complex concept that plays a key role in the healthy development of a relationship and includes basic elements such as trust, understanding, and commitment between couples. This bond allows couples to provide emotional support to each other by increasing positive interactions in the relationship.

In essence, an emotional connection is vital in creating a fulfilling and lasting relationship that brings joy and happiness to both partners.

10 ways to connect emotionally with your partner

Looking for ways to connect with your partner or how to build an emotional connection in a relationship?

To emotionally connect with your husband or wife, you must try to understand them first. To help you answer questions like ‘How to connect with your spouse emotionally’ or ‘How to connect with your partner emotionally,’ let’s begin with some thoughtful ways to consider. 

Think of bonding in the healthiest way possible. Connecting emotionally with your partner starts with a bond, and that bond needs to be constructed in a healthy way.  Here are some of the components that make up healthy emotional connections.

1. Practice empathy

Wondering how to connect with your partner emotionally? Start by learning and practicing empathy.

Empathy is the act of placing yourself in the other’s shoes, of seeing things from their perspective.  

When you are empathic with your spouse, you emotionally contact them because they sense that you know them so well you can use their “eyes and heart” to look at things their way.  

Emotionally connected couples practice empathy not only with their spouses but with all of the people whose paths they cross each day: parents, children, friends, colleagues, the barista at Starbucks…everyone!

Related Reading: How to Build Empathy in Relationships

2. Listen actively

Active listening connects you emotionally to your partner as it shows them you are fully engaged in the conversation. Active listening validates the other person’s feelings and ensures an emotional connection between two people.

How to connect emotionally with your partner? Listen to them. To listen actively, allow your partner to talk.  Then repeat what you have heard, using your own words.  A conversation about household chores might look something like this:

She: “I’m really tired of being the only one who seems to be concerned with keeping the kitchen clean.”

He: “It sounds like you aren’t getting the help you need to get the kitchen.”

She: “That’s right.  I just can’t do it all myself.”

He “Tell me how I can help you.  How would you like us to divide the kitchen cleaning work up?”

Non-active listening would be using short-word responses such as oh, ok, whatever, cool, uh-huh.  

These are merely filler words and do not indicate that you are really taking part in the conversation in a mindful way.  (You may be used to hearing these brief responses when you talk with a teenager!)  

Related Reading: How Does Listening Affect Relationships

3. Build consensus together

Building an emotional connection or needing an emotional connection requires getting even on finances. Even if one of you is the breadwinner in the family, deciding how to spend that money should be a joint decision.

Whether you are making a decision to uproot the family for a better job offer or upgrade your home, to connect emotionally with your partner, listen to each other’s opinions on these large-scale decisions even if only one person in the marriage will be bankrolling them.  

4. Power is equal in the marriage

Emotionally connected couples have a balance of power, and they view each other as equals.  Each voice carries equal weight in the household. We can use the term ‘shared power for a healthy division of power within a relationship. It is where both partners have equal responsibilities and authority.

How to connect emotionally with your partner? Respect your partner’s opinions and concerns in all matters big and small. Don’t let them feel belittled or unworthy in any case. Expect the same behaviour from them and feel free to let them know in case you ever feel disrespected.

As Psychologist Mert Şeker explains:

The emotional bond established between partners in marriage is an important factor affecting power equality. Equality of power refers to the fair distribution of decision-making processes, responsibilities, and resources in a relationship. 

Emotional bond helps couples feel emotionally connected to each other, contributing to the development of mutual understanding and empathy.

5. Spend quality time together

Spending time together is among signs of emotional connection. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. To strengthen your emotional connection, make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your partner on a regular basis. 

This could mean going on date nights, taking a walk together, or simply curling up on the couch and watching a movie.

Related Reading: 15 Reasons Why Quality Time Is So Important in a Relationship

6. Be present in the moment

When you’re spending time with your partner, make a conscious effort to be present in the moment. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and focus your attention solely on your partner. This can help to create a deeper sense of connection and understanding.

Pay attention to them and help to create a positive and appreciative atmosphere in your relationship, which can, in turn, strengthen your emotional connection.

7. Take an interest in your partner’s hobbies

Taking an interest in your partner’s hobbies and interests can help to strengthen your emotional connection. Ask them about their passions and encourage them to pursue them. By doing so, you’ll show your partner that you care about their happiness and fulfillment.

Appreciate them for their achievements, no matter how big or small. Cheer them up whenever they feel low about their accomplishments or areas of interest. This will undoubtedly bring the two of you close.

Psychologist Mert Şeker further adds:

Your interest in your partner’s hobbies strengthens the emotional bond and increases the quality of time spent together. In this way, the level of satisfaction felt in the relationship increases, and the sustainability of the emotional bond is supported by elements such as a common goal, shared interests, and respect for each other.

8. Show physical affection

Emotional connection examples include affectionate touches. Physical touch is an important part of emotional connection. Show your partner affection through hugs, kisses, and cuddling. These small gestures can help to create a sense of closeness and comfort on a daily basis.

Psychologist Mert Şeker suggests that:

Simple actions such as massaging your partner or preparing a hot tea after a hard day can strengthen the emotional bond. By creating an emotionally supportive environment between partners, physical affection can reduce stress in the relationship and strengthen the process of empathic bonding.

How to connect emotionally with your partner? Bring physical affection into your routine. For instance, when they return from work, just walk up to them and hug them without saying anything. They’ll surely get the message and appreciate it.

Watch this video to learn more about showing physical affection:

9. Share your feelings

Being vulnerable in front of your partner strengthens the trust between you and your partner. Your spouse is one person who’s supposed to understand your deepest thoughts and offer support without judging you.

It’s important to be open and honest with your partner about your own emotions. Share your thoughts, fears, and concerns with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. This level of vulnerability can help to deepen your emotional connection and foster a greater sense of intimacy.

10. Engage in meaningful conversations

Engage in meaningful conversations with your partner on a regular basis. This could mean discussing your goals, dreams, and aspirations or talking about important issues that affect your relationship. By engaging in deep and meaningful conversations, you can foster a greater sense of intimacy and understanding.

How to connect emotionally with your partner? Talk to them on a deeper level. It’s not mandatory to talk about yourself or your relationship, you can pick up any topic under the sun which requires a greater understanding of love and live on a larger scale. 

This brings you close and allows you to share each other’s knowledge on general things.

Related Reading: 12 Ways to Have an Intimate Conversation With Your Partner

Commonly searched questions!

Do you still have questions regarding forming an emotional attachment with one’s partner or spouse and wondering what could be the answer? Here are some of them! Go through them and make the picture clearer for yourself.

• What are possible obstacles to relationship emotional connection?

There are some ways of relating to others that stand in the way of connecting with your partner, but all of these can be surmounted with some dedicated effort, provided perhaps by an outside person such as a therapist.  These include:

• One of the people in the relationship may feel uncomfortable using techniques like “active listening” and “practicing empathy.”
• One of the people in the relationship may not like examining heavy emotions at close range
• One of the people in the relationship may think that devoting time to building emotional connections takes too much energy
• Someone’s personality type is “get in and get the job done” and resents that connecting emotionally isn’t quick and easy
• Certain roles have taken shape in the couple due to one person being the “emotional” one and one being the “stoic, non-feeling” one.  Changing roles is hard work and requires an overhaul of the couple’s dynamics.

In these cases, it is vital that the couple work together to overcome these obstacles.  If they don’t, the relationship can work, but without the depth and satisfaction that an emotional connection provides.  

A relationship lacking in emotional connection is more like a partnership, and that is not what most people seek when they fall in love.

Once you acquire the skills to connect emotionally with your partner, you will find that your ability to connect with others around you becomes easy, natural, and extremely satisfying.   

One positive takeaway is the sense of belonging that you will feel, that sensation of inclusion that buoys you and reminds you that you are not alone as you move through the world.  

This is the real purpose of marriage:  to join two people together on both the physical and emotional levels so that they can provide each other with a sense of belonging and feeling “home.”

• What could be the reasons behind struggling to connect emotionally with one’s partner?

There are many reasons why someone might struggle to connect emotionally with their partner, including past traumas, communication barriers, mismatched attachment styles, differences in values or goals, fear of vulnerability, lack of trust or respect, and external stressors such as work or family issues.

It is important to address these issues before they create a scope for bigger and unresolvable problems in one’s relationship.

If you continuously try and fail to form an emotional attachment with your partner, consider opting for couples counseling and dig out the primary source of your problems.

Strive for a fulfilling emotional bond in your relationship!

A fulfilling, emotional bonding with your partner is essential for a healthy and happy relationship. It requires vulnerability, communication, and mutual understanding. Strive to create a safe space where you both can share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment or criticism. 

Be present and attentive, actively listen, and empathize with your partner. Build intimacy through physical touch, quality time, and shared experiences. Celebrate your successes together, and support each other through tough times. Remember, a strong emotional connection takes effort, but it’s worth it.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less