1. When faced with a difficult situation, do you and your partner trust each other to tell the truth, even if it may be uncomfortable?
A. No, we often hide the truth to avoid conflict
B. We try to be honest, but sometimes we withhold information
C. Most of the time, we are honest with each other
D. Yes, we prioritize honesty even when it's difficult
2. How often do you and your partner make promises or commitments to each other and follow through on them?
A. Rarely, we often break our promises
B. Sometimes, but not consistently
C. Most of the time, we keep our promises
D. Always, we are committed to honoring our word
3. In your relationship, how often do you and your partner openly communicate about your feelings and concerns?
A. Rarely or never
B. Occasionally
C. Sometimes, but not consistently
D. Frequently and honestly
4. Are you and your partner comfortable discussing past mistakes or regrets without judgment or defensiveness?
A. No, we avoid talking about our past mistakes
B. We try to discuss them, but it usually leads to arguments
C. Sometimes, we have open conversations about our past
D. Yes, we can openly discuss our past without judgment
5. Do you and your partner share important information about your personal lives, such as finances or health concerns?
A. No, we keep our personal lives separate
B. We share some information, but not everything
C. Most of the time, we are open about personal matters
D. Yes, we are transparent about our personal lives and support each other
6. Which of these would you not share with your partner, even after a significant time of being together?
A. Abuse/trauma history
B. Family relationship issues
C. Differing political/social views
D. I would share anything with my partner
7. Do you think it is essential to share your desires and dreams if they differ from your partners?
A. Not always. It could cause fights if we want different things.
B. Sometimes, if it is important enough to me
C. Most of the time, unless it is a desire, I have decided to give up on
D. Yes, I think it is always important to share these things
8. Have there been times you were intentionally dishonest with your partner about your feelings?
A. Yes, many times
B. Only when I felt it would be hurtful for them to hear how I really felt
C. I try not to do that, although I will admit I have
D. I am always honest with my partner about how I am feeling
9. Do you think there are certain things in relationships that are better left unsaid?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
D. No
10. If you have been dishonest, what has motivated the dishonesty?
A. Most of the time, it is self-serving dishonesty revolving around my own needs
B. I am scared to share every little thing with my partner
C. I didn’t want to hurt my partner
D. I have not been dishonest in my relationship
11. Is it okay if your partner doesn’t prefer to be honest with you always?
A. Yes, because I, too, am not always honest.
B. I am not sure.
C. No, It would not benefit me in any way to know this, only hurt me.
D. I know that my partner prefers honesty above all else.
12. Do you ever find yourself keeping private certain thoughts or behaviors that you felt your partner would not be able to tolerate?
A. Yes, I have done this
B. Only when I knew what I was thinking was unreasonable
C. A few times, but not often
D. No, I don’t think I have ever done this or felt this way
13. Are you honest with your partner, even in times where it might upset them?
A. No, I am definitely not.
B. I try to, but mostly I prefer to keep my opinions to myself.
C. Sometimes, it depends on the situation.
D. I always try to be as honest as possible with my partner.
14. Which of these things do you feel is appropriate to hide from your partner?
A. Negative thoughts or behaviors stemming from my past
B. Present or potential health/mental health issues or STD’s
C. Debt
D. None of the above
15. The level of true intimacy in a relationship directly correlates with how transparent and vulnerable partners can be with each other. On a scale from 1-4, 1 being the lowest level of transparency and vulnerability and 4 being the highest, how would you rate yourself.
A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
