Being in love is the feeling of true happiness in a reciprocal, unconditional, and mutually devoted relationship. It is wanting the absolute best for someone else and doing everything within your power to ensure their life with you is happy and fulfilling.
An obsession is more of an uncontrollable need and infatuation with another person that crosses the threshold of a healthy relationship. It can become overbearing and delusional, and at times your obsessive thoughts can control your actions, which could make you possessive, jealous, and even violent.
Do you know if your feelings are those of love, obsession, or somewhere in between? Has someone accused you of being obsessed, and you aren’t sure if that could be true? Take this short quiz to find out if you are just in love or truly obsessed.
1. Is there trust in your relationship or do you get jealous easily?
A. I don’t get jealous, but my partner does often
B. Yes, I get jealous often
C. No, there’s no jealousy
D. Sometimes I feel it, but it’s still new
2. How do you feel about changes in your partners actions or behaviors over time?
A. I like seeing them change and grow and support any growth they have
B. I haven’t seen much change, but it’s still new
C. When they change for any reason I get suspicious as to why
D. I don’t mind, but when I make changes in my life my partner hates it
3. Are you satisfied sexually?
A. I feel that I am less sexually satisfied because of their behaviors
B. Very satisfied!
C. I am happy and satisfied sexually
D. I am, but I feel my partner is less satisfied than in the beginning
4. Has the “honeymoon phase” ended?
A. We’ve been dating a long time and I still have the desire to talk and be with my partner every second
B. Not yet, it’s still pretty new!
C. Definitely
D. Yes, but in a good way. Our relationship is amazing
5. Have you become isolated from your family or friends because of your desire to always be with your partner?
A. No, not at all
B. No, I have nights for friends and nights for date nights. It’s a health balance
C. Yes, I feel like my partner tries to isolate me on purpose
D. Yes, I just always want to be with my partner I don’t want to go anywhere they aren’t going or do anything they aren’t doing
6. Do you feel butterflies and excitement about your partner that controls your thoughts and emotions?
A. No, I get excited and butterflies but it doesn’t consume me
B. Sometimes, but it’s still really new
C. Yes, often
D. No, I try to get time to myself when I can
7. Do you feel like you are obsessed?
A. No, not at all
B. Yes, I really do
C. No, but I feel my partner is
D. Sometimes, but it’s still in the honeymoon phase
8. Do you spend a significant amount of time trying to please your partner or do things to keep them happy and prevent them from leaving?
A. No, not at all
B. No, I haven’t even thought about that
C. Yes, I think I do
D. No, but I feel like my partner does that
9. How often do you check your partner’s social media?
A. 1-2 times daily
B. 5-10 times daily
C. I don’t check often but I know that my partner does
D. Sometimes when I miss them
10. Do you feel you need to “protect” the person you're in love with?
A. Only when needed
B. Yes, definitely
C. My partner is protective
D. Not really
11. Do you find yourself needing constant reassurances?
A. Not really
B. All the time
C. My partner need it more
D. Sometimes
12. Do you often try to control or change their life?
A. Only when needed
B. Yes
C. They try to change mind
D. Not really
13. Do you fear your partner will cheat or accuse your partner of cheating?
A. Not at all
B. Yes
C. They have the fear
D. Rarely
14. Has there ever been verbal or physical abuse in your relationship?
A. No, never
B. No, just normal arguments that have become heated, but not abusive
C. Yes, I definitely let my emotions get the best of me sometimes
D. Yes, my partner definitely lets their emotions get the best of them sometimes
15. How often do you communicate with your partner when you aren’t together?
A. Any chance I get I am calling/texting/contacting on social media
B. We keep in contact throughout the day when we are free
C. We talk all day usually, mostly through text or photos
D. My partner calls/texts/communicates with me constantly
