Sexting in Relationships: 10 Ways to Spice up Your Love Life

A little digital flirting never hurt anyone, right?

Sexting in relationships isn’t just a passing trend; it’s a powerful way to keep romance alive, especially when life gets busy. 

Ever wondered how to keep things fresh even when you’re not together? Or how to add that spark without a grand gesture? What is sexting, and the impact it has on relationships?

With everything going digital, even intimacy finds its space on your screens. Couples who engage in sexting report greater satisfaction and connection, proving that a few playful texts can go a long way.

Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just looking to add excitement to your daily routine, learning how to embrace sexting in marriage might be just what you need.

Curious how to use sexting to spice up your marriage or simply enhance the connection with your partner? This article is your guide to getting started confidently and creatively.

What does sexting mean?

Sexting is simply using texts, photos, or videos to share intimate, flirtatious, or suggestive messages with your partner. It’s a way to keep the spark alive and build anticipation, especially when you’re apart. 

According to Danica Mitchell, an experienced sex therapist:

Sexting is a great way to spice up a marriage because it helps build anticipation throughout the day and lets your partner know you are thinking about them.

But what is sexting and the impact it has on relationships? Done right, it can boost connection, trust, and excitement, adding a playful layer to your bond. 

The benefits of sexting are well-known: it brings a touch of spontaneity and intimacy into everyday life, reminding both partners that passion doesn’t always require physical closeness. In short, sexting in relationships can make love feel new again.

Can sexting spice up a relationship?

Sexting in relationships has an undeniable allure, especially when you want to keep things lively and connected. 

But is sexting good for a relationship? In many cases, it’s a dynamic way to rekindle attraction and maintain intimacy even from a distance. A well-timed message or flirty photo can stir excitement, add mystery, and even strengthen trust—showing that desire doesn’t fade with routine.

Is sexting healthy in a relationship? For many couples, yes. It builds a private, playful space that can boost self-confidence and encourage open communication. Sexting gives couples a new way to express affection and keeps that spark alive, especially in long-term relationships where daily life can sometimes feel predictable. 

Whether it’s during a busy workday or a long-distance period, sexting offers a way to stay intimately connected. It’s not just about fun—it’s a reminder of why you chose each other.

How to use sexting to spice up your marriage according to experts: 10 bold tips

Experts agree: sexting in relationships can be a game-changer for reigniting passion. But is sexting bad for relationships? Not when done thoughtfully! 

Here are 10 bold tips on using sexting to spice up your marriage, keep the excitement alive, and deepen your connection, even during life’s busiest moments.

1. Stop feeling marriage is a closed routine

A lot of married couples feel many doors have slammed shut after marriage. They go on to live a life of near-formality, leaving things and activities that made their relationship before marriage fun.

That’s not to say some don’t sext, but not just as much or with commitment. Further, some have been living with the notion that sexting is something you can do only to rescue yourself from a fading marriage.

That couldn’t be any farther from the truth.

In marriage, sexting is another exploratory part of the relationship that ignites a whole lot of hormones and the feelings that come with them, thereby making way for terrific sex.

Being married is not a sentence to a life of repetition. 

Whip out that phone and break the sexual ice! 

2. You should both be in on it

It’s okay to make the first move, but if that’s how the rest of the conversation pans out, there can be very little pleasure to be had. That’s because it’s a whole lot of fun and satisfying if you’re both exchanging explicit messages.

Of course, you can expect a few cold feet when either person or both persons are new at it, but that goes away eventually.

On the whole, couples should be engaged in the act with every word, emoji, or picture geared towards pleasing each other.

Furthermore, it would make no sense to have uninteresting one-word replies or smileys to words that should ordinarily ignite some passion.

To that end, one of the couples could take the lead, with words that are open-ended and designed to trigger a response of equal measure. Whatever you both decide, no one should feel left out of the process.

3. Be down and dirty with creativity

With creativity, you have to go the extra mile with everything in your armory. When sexting, there’s nothing quite like receiving a spontaneous message that screams sex all over.

Therapist Danica Mitchell further shares:

Sexting is a great way to indulge in fantasy, so don’t be afraid to get expressive and creative. You don’t have to do any of the things in the messages if you don’t want to, but they can still be fun to talk about.

Thankfully, the English language is littered with many words and phrases that leave the imagination running wild and free. All you have to do is use something or description that’s not too conventional.

It doesn’t end with words though; videos, emojis, and voice notes could go a long way to spice up your marriage. Further, in a bid to spice things up, try to ignore the sexual organs a bit (it’ll come to that eventually).

Think about other parts of the body that are just as sensitive to touch, it gets all the better if you know the weak spots of your spouse, and make specific use of adjectives to light things up.

Equally, talk about and use those areas of your home you’d prefer to be in as you do something nasty and downright sexy to your partner.

4. A flirty line sets things up nicely

Being flirty immediately opens the floodgates of emotions, and often leads to the more exciting stuff. Sexting your partner about what you’re putting on in a given moment, or sexting them about how fulfilling last night was, is a great way to begin. 

For instance, “I’ve got your shirt on and can’t stop wishing you were here to hold me,” or “I can’t stop thinking about last night, every part of your body makes me yearn for more.” 

Those are excellent examples, but you’d be better at expressing how you feel about your partner, and how they turn you on. 

Your partner may not be in the mood, but your mode of kicking off things has a lot to do with how your sext is received. Again, you don’t need to be great at it. It’s something personal you should both find fun in.

5. Build sexual tension

While sexting, do it in such a way that your texts will make your partner in stitches sexually, aroused, and thinking about what they’d do to your body. 

Be careful, though! You don’t want your partner feeling pressure to match your intensity. You only have to keep in mind that you’re sexting for foreplay, which leads to lovemaking you both can’t wait to have.

If you feel it’s not going the right way, you can redirect your words to have your partner more engaged. This will give your marriage the spice it needs to keep things steamy and sexually entertaining. 

Sext about how you love certain positions, acts, touches, and general body contact. 

6. Start with playful messages

To ease into sexting in relationships, start with playful, light messages. Think of it as flirting over text—keep it simple and teasing. 

For example, “Guess what I’m thinking about right now?” or “I can’t wait to tell you what I want to do later.” These small hints create a safe and exciting space to let your conversation heat up naturally without diving in too fast.

7. Set the right mood and time

Timing is everything when it comes to sexting in relationships. Choose moments when both you and your partner can engage without distractions, like winding down after work or during a quiet afternoon. 

Set the stage with a text like, “Finally, some alone time. Want to make it interesting?” or “I’ve been thinking about you all day… ready to make things steamy?” It’s all about building anticipation when both of you are primed for it.

8. Keep things fun and lighthearted

Sexting doesn’t have to be serious—keeping it fun and light can make it even more appealing. Send a playful selfie or a humorous, flirty message that makes your partner laugh. 

For instance, “If you were here, I’d be giving you all the attention… but I guess I’ll just keep these thoughts to myself.” Playfulness takes away any pressure and keeps the vibe relaxed and inviting.

9. Understand your partner’s comfort zone

One of the keys to successful sexting in relationships is respecting your partner’s boundaries. Everyone has different comfort levels, so try to gauge what feels right for them. 

If your partner is new to sexting, start slow and see how they respond. A simple message like, “Is it okay if I tell you a little fantasy I have?” shows you’re attentive to their feelings and gives them a chance to engage on their own terms.

10. Break free from routine with playful surprises

Marriage doesn’t mean intimacy has to fall into predictable patterns. Use sexting as a way to shake things up and add an element of surprise! 

Send a spontaneous, out-of-the-blue message like, “Remember that thing we talked about? Ready to make it happen?” or “Just a reminder… you’re still my favorite daydream.” Playful surprises help reignite the spark, reminding you both that excitement and romance can always evolve.

Need more ideas? Here are some simple texts that can reignite your relationship in a subtle and unexpected way:

Safety advice and special considerations

When it comes to sexting, especially in committed relationships, it’s essential to keep safety and privacy in mind. 

While it can be a fun way to deepen intimacy, remember that digital messages are sometimes less secure than they appear. Protecting your relationship’s privacy means being mindful of where and how you’re sharing these intimate messages. 

Here are a few quick tips to keep your sexting safe and enjoyable:

• Use a secure platform: Opt for messaging apps with strong encryption, like Signal or WhatsApp, for added privacy.
• Avoid public Wi-Fi: Public networks are less secure, making it easier for personal messages to be intercepted.
• Delete after reading: Set messages to disappear after they’re read, or agree to delete them manually to avoid accidental discovery.
• Know your boundaries: Only send what you’re comfortable sharing, and respect each other’s boundaries at all times.
• Be cautious with photos: If sending photos, consider keeping your face out of frame to ensure a bit of anonymity.

Evoke the playful side

There you have it—a fresh, exciting way to deepen your bond and keep your marriage lively! Sexting isn’t just about spicing things up; it’s about keeping the playfulness alive and showing each other that your relationship is anything but ordinary. 

Embracing the fun and adventurous side of your relationship can transform even the busiest days into shared, intimate moments. So, don’t hesitate to send that flirty message or plan a little surprise text just to make them smile. 

Ready to take the plunge? Start small, build up the tension, and most importantly—enjoy every bit of this new way to connect. 

Remember, the best part is creating something that’s unique and special just between the two of you. So, what are you waiting for? Your partner might just be waiting for a message!

Marriage.com Assessment

Relationship Test: What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now?

If your relationship feels off balance, if communication feels harder, connection weaker, or tension more frequent, this assessment can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface. Grounded in relationship psychology and evidence-...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Nov 18, 2025

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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Danielle Fogel

Dani Fogel. is a Communication Coordinator at Brandable, based in Los Angeles, CA. She works on the Queen V brand within the company’s Digital and Ecommerce department.