4 Pros and Cons of Getting Married While in College

Love doesn’t always wait for the “perfect time,” and sometimes, that means wedding bells are ringing somewhere between final exams and late-night pizza runs! Getting married while in college is one of those life choices that sounds romantic, daring… and maybe a little overwhelming, too. 

For some, it brings comfort, teamwork, and a built-in best friend to navigate the chaos. For others, it might mean juggling lectures with laundry and budgeting like a pro. Every couple’s journey is unique—so it’s okay to feel excited, unsure, or somewhere in between. 

After all, college and commitment both come with their own learning curves.

Why some choose to get married during college: 5 reasons

Getting married while in college isn’t always planned—it often stems from heartfelt reasons and real-life needs. 

For some, it’s not just about love, but about finding stability, support, and meaning during one of life’s most transitional phases.

1. Fear of isolation can be crippling

Moving far for college can be isolating, and the idea of facing it alone feels overwhelming to many. Some students marry to avoid loneliness or the fear of losing a rare emotional connection.

According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:

This can sometimes lead to the concept of ‘settling’ for someone who may not actually be right for you.

 A partner often becomes their emotional anchor, helping them adjust, cope, and feel less alone.

2. Cultural factor

Even in the 21st century, cultural expectations continue to shape big life decisions—including getting married while in college. In many societies, such as Indian, Middle Eastern, or Eastern European cultures, marriage is still considered a milestone that signals adulthood and stability.

 For students from such backgrounds, the pressure to uphold tradition can feel overwhelming.

3. Emotional factor

Beyond culture, emotions play a quiet but strong role. Parents’ expectations—spoken or unspoken—can weigh heavily on young adults. Students may feel torn between their own desires and the urge to keep their loved ones happy. This emotional tug-of-war can lead them to say “yes” to marriage before they’re truly sure.

As Maggie Martinez wisely puts it:

“It’s important to pause and ask yourself—are you doing this for your happiness or someone else’s approval?”

This isn’t about blame—it’s about recognizing how deeply we all crave connection, validation, and love. And sometimes, that makes decisions feel more complex than they appear on the surface.

4. They love each other

In a world of casual dating, some couples still find deep, lasting love early. Getting married while in college can feel like a natural next step to honor that bond. 

While love is a strong reason, it’s still important to pause and consider timing, growth, and shared readiness.

5. They want to build a life

Some couples see college not as an obstacle, but as the perfect time to start building a shared future. They want to grow through the challenges, support each other’s dreams, and create a life side by side—even if it means starting small.

Please note: Every relationship is unique, and so is your journey. Whether you’re in love, uncertain, single, or simply figuring things out—your path is valid. We’re not here to tell you what’s right or wrong, just to walk with you while you explore your own choices.

4 pros & cons of getting married while in college

Marriage during college is a big decision—and like any major life choice, it comes with both joys and challenges. The pros and cons of getting married while studying can vary for each couple, depending on their goals, circumstances, and emotional readiness. Let’s look at both sides with care. 

• Pros

Getting married while in college might seem unconventional, but for some couples, it brings unexpected strength and support. Here are some points that highlight the positive side of this journey: 

1. Tuition-fee waivers can come as a result of marriage

In some states, getting married can help students qualify for in-state tuition or residency benefits. 

That’s because marriage may help fulfill certain requirements like financial independence and establishing intent to remain in the state—both of which are essential for gaining state residency. 

2. Having some security is always beneficial

College years can feel emotionally scattered—between deadlines, identity shifts, and uncertainty about the future. For many, the pressure of dating or feeling alone adds to that weight. Being married to someone you trust can offer emotional grounding, making it easier to focus and breathe through the chaos.

3.  Spending time with your best friend is a blessing

For some couples, being married during college means having a consistent companion through both stressful and simple moments. When both partners enjoy each other’s company, even the routine parts of student life can become more bearable.

4. Shared responsibilities can lighten the load

Some married students choose to split everyday tasks—like cooking, cleaning, or budgeting—which can help reduce stress when managed well. Balancing school and personal life is never easy, but having someone to share responsibilities with can make a difference in certain situations.

• Cons 

While marriage in college can offer support, it also comes with unique pressures that aren’t always easy to manage. Here are some points to consider before making the leap.

1. It might be too soon

Strong feelings early in a relationship can feel overwhelming, especially during the emotionally intense college years. Even if everything feels right in the moment, it’s worth asking: have we faced enough real-life situations together to truly understand each other?

As Maggie Martinez puts it:

“Time is the best predictor of a future outcome. Give the relationship time.”

Taking a step back to think long-term—like picturing your life together five years from now—can offer helpful perspective. Waiting doesn’t mean doubt; it often means respect for what you’re building.

2. Distractions can be costly

Marriage often comes with emotional and practical responsibilities—whether it’s managing a home, handling finances, or simply being present for one another. Balancing these alongside demanding coursework, exams, or part-time jobs can stretch your focus. 

It’s not always easy to give both your relationship and academics the time they deserve, and this imbalance may affect either side over time. Recognizing this early on can help in setting realistic expectations and boundaries.

3.  You might not be ready to settle down yet

Just because others your age are getting married doesn’t mean it’s the right time for you. Some students value spontaneity, social freedom, or simply having more time for themselves. 

Marriage can bring routine and responsibility—both of which might feel limiting if you’re still figuring out what you want. It’s okay to want space to grow without committing to something permanent just yet.

4. A need for personal space shouldn’t be disregarded

College often demands long hours of studying, part-time work, and daily responsibilities. For some, having uninterrupted time to focus and recharge is essential. 

Sharing space and time constantly with a partner may feel overwhelming, even when the relationship is strong. Respecting your own need for solitude or independence is just as important as caring for a relationship.

What people think vs. what it’s really like being married in college

Choosing to get married in college isn’t something you hear about every day—it often brings raised eyebrows, big opinions, and plenty of assumptions. Whether it’s seen as “too early” or “impossibly hard,” there’s a lot of noise surrounding the idea.

But the truth is, every couple is different, and reality rarely fits neatly into those outside expectations. Here’s a gentle look at some common myths and how they compare to what it’s actually like for many students who are

Point of difference	Myth	Reality
Maturity and Readiness	“You’re too young to handle marriage in college.”	Some students are surprisingly emotionally mature and committed at this stage.
Academic Focus	“Getting married while in college will destroy your academic performance.”	Many couples manage academics better together through shared motivation.
Social Life	“You’ll lose all your friends if you're married in college.”	True, social life may change—but strong friendships can absolutely continue.
Finances	“You’ll constantly be broke and stressed.”	Budgeting is hard—but some married students find ways to build financial discipline early.
Relationship growth	“College marriage is a trap—you’ll grow apart.”	With clear communication, many couples grow stronger and adapt together.

How to make being married in college work: 5 ways

Getting married while in college can be both beautiful and intense. Between lectures, part-time jobs, and figuring out your future, balancing a relationship—let alone a marriage—can feel like a lot. 

But with the right mindset and mutual effort, it is possible to grow stronger together, even in the chaos. Here are five gentle, practical ways to make it work while you’re both still figuring things out.

1. Communicate like it’s your superpower

Life gets noisy in college—deadlines, exams, stress—and that’s exactly when you need to talk more, not less. Make time to check in emotionally, not just logistically. 

Talk about the big stuff (like goals and values) and the little stuff (like how your day went). Honest, kind communication builds trust and helps you avoid feeling like distant roommates.

• Remember: Silence doesn’t mean peace—keep the conversations going, even when it’s hard.

2. Be each other’s teammate, not just spouse

Marriage during college isn’t about perfection—it’s about partnership. Support each other’s dreams, celebrate the wins, and step in during the tough moments. 

Whether it’s proofreading a paper or making dinner after a long day, small acts of support matter. See challenges as something you’re facing together, not individually.

• Remember: You’re not just in love—you’re on the same team.

3. Keep your own identity, too

It’s easy to get wrapped up in being a “we,” but don’t lose sight of your own goals, hobbies, and friendships. Marriage works better when both people feel fulfilled as individuals. 

Encourage each other to grow in your own ways—join that club, take that solo class, spend time with friends. Independence can strengthen your bond, not weaken it.

• Remember: Growing together starts with growing as yourself.

4. Budget your time and money with love

Let’s be real—college and money stress often go hand-in-hand. Sit down together to create a simple budget and schedule that respects your priorities. 

Share responsibilities without blame and make decisions as a team, especially when resources are tight. Planning ahead helps you avoid unnecessary tension and feel more secure.

• Remember: Budgeting isn’t just practical—it’s a way to show care and respect.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Marriage doesn’t mean you have to figure it all out alone. Counseling, support groups, or even advice from trusted mentors can make a huge difference. 

Reaching out doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re choosing to grow smarter and stronger. The healthiest couples know when to lean on others.

• Remember: Strong relationships aren’t perfect—they’re supported.

10 questions to ask before getting married while in college

Getting married while in college—or even getting married while in university—can feel like a deeply personal, emotional step. For some, it’s the right fit; for others, it may come with more challenges than expected. 

Before making such a commitment, it helps to pause, reflect, and ask yourself a few honest questions—not to create doubt, but to bring clarity and mutual understanding. Marriage is more than love; it’s timing, teamwork, and shared direction.

Watch this TED Talk by psychiatrist George Blair‑West, who shares some key questions couples should ask before marriage to build lasting, meaningful relationships. 

Self-reflective questions to ask:

• Have we experienced each other during both easy and difficult times?
• Are we both emotionally ready to handle the ups and downs of marriage?
• How will we manage finances while studying?
• Do we both feel heard, respected, and supported in this relationship?
• Have we talked about long-term goals—personally, professionally, and as a couple?
• Are we prepared for changes in our social lives and routines?
• How will we balance academic pressure with married life?
• Do we have a support system (family, friends, mentors) we can rely on?
• Are we choosing marriage for the right reasons—not fear, pressure, or convenience?
• Can we give each other space to grow individually while growing together?

Ending note

At the end of the day, being married in college is neither all sunshine nor all struggle—it’s a unique path shaped by the people walking it. The myths can feel loud, but the reality is deeply personal. 

Some couples work it through teamwork, while others find the timing too tough—and both experiences are valid. 

If you’re considering getting married while in college, give yourself permission to question, reflect, and grow at your own pace. Love doesn’t have to follow a schedule, and there’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to what’s right for your life and your relationship.