What Are the Benefits of a Trial Separation and How to Survive It

For many couples, even the thought of getting a divorce can be very terrifying. When things don’t work out, couples become unsure of what to do and if you do not want a divorce and just want a change in your marriage then trial separation can be the answer to your problems.

However, everything you hear about trial separation can leave a bad image plastered on your mind, leaving you unaware of the benefits of a trial separation.

Many individuals claim that trial separation can be the first step towards divorce; trial separation has also been termed as the beginning of an end. But before you go ahead and throw the towel on your marriage or rush in for a trial separation, it is important to understand what trial separation actually is and the benefits it has for you and your marriage.

What is a trial separation?

In simple words, a trial separation is a fancy word for a short-term split from your partner.

Many couples make this decision in order to reevaluate their marriage and figure out if they want to reconcile with their significant other, move on to a more permanent and legalized separation, or file for divorce.

In trial separation, one spouse will have to move out of their home and find temporary accommodation such as a rental, hotel, or a friend’s place. If the couple is unable to afford a new accommodation, then they might live together but simply make it clear that they are temporarily separated.

However, keep in mind that trial separations and legal separations are entirely different.

In trial separation, both partners make their expectations really clear and set ground rules for separation before they are even separated. All these rules are made in writing; however, a legal separation is an actual change in the legal status of couples, making it very similar to a divorce, but it does not end your marriage.

Related Reading: What Is a Trial Separation Agreement: Elements & Benefits

5 benefits of a trial separation

Some couples unwaveringly insist that trial separation helped in saving their marriage.

There have been occasions where a trial separation has been a proactive tool for mending a failing marriage. When struggles and stress from day-to-day activities create problems in your marriage, it can lead to broken communications and trust issues.

These problems eventually give birth to misunderstandings, and before you know it, your marriage is on the verge of falling apart.

In times like this, it is necessary that you take a break and choose trial separation before rushing in for a divorce. Mentioned below are some of the gains of trial separation that’ll help in making your decision.

1. Helps you decide if divorce is an option

A trial separation can be a good option for you and your significant other if you are not willing to get a divorce. A major one in benefits of trial separation rules!

This separation will help you both to experience what a divorce will feel like, and you will be able to decide whether it is the right decision for you both.

With a trial separation, you will go through the same process and also experience similar emotions as getting a divorce, but you will not undergo the stress that comes with the divorce process.

Once you have been separated for some time, you may realize how hard it can be and figure out how wrong divorce is for the two of you, paving the way to giving your relationship another go.

2. Helps you cool down

Looking for benefits of a trial separation? It helps you in calming you down and puts your anger aside.

When both parties stop compromising and seeing eye to eye, they must choose separation instead of throwing the towel in their marriage. This separation will help you understand things from your partner’s point of view, and you may be able to save your marriage.

As Dr. Jennifer Schulz, PhD in Psychology, states,

Sometimes, the emotional intensity in a conflicted relationship can be overwhelming, preventing you from obtaining clarity and achieving compromise with your partner. A trial separation gives you time away from intense emotions, so you have time to think about how to solve problems in the relationship.

3. Help reawaken love

Can separation save a marriage?

As the famous saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” similarly separation can help you rekindle the dormant feeling of affection you had for each other and help you ignite the spark in your marriage.

One of the benefits of a trial separation is also that it lets you look back on the journey of your relationship and evaluate its worth.

Here are a few more tips on how to rekindle love in your marriage:

4. Helps in figuring yourself out

Does trial separation work in sorting things out?

Being apart from each other peacefully can give both partners a chance to balance out their perspectives and gives time for self-analysis. This space can be used to figure out where you are wrong and help you avoid mistakes in the future.

Separation can also help you bring back your lost sanity. It will bring you closer to the other people in your life which will make you happy; happy you will then lead to a happy marriage.

5. Help appreciate your marriage

Out of the many benefits of a trial separation, this is an important one. Often, separated couples tend to remember their spouse more frequently and find it hard to imagine life without one another.

Soon, you may find yourself appreciating your partner’s positive traits, and before you know it, you will be willing to give your marriage another try.

A trial separation can help you fix your failing marriage and be a good option for you and your partner.

Dr. Schulz adds,

When you’re apart from your partner and not caught up in day-to-day conflict, you may start to miss them and appreciate all the good they brought to your life.

What is the impact of a trial separation on divorce?

A trial separation can have a significant impact on divorce proceedings. In some cases, a trial separation can be a useful tool for couples who are struggling with their marriage but are not yet ready for a divorce. 

During a trial separation, couples can live apart and have time to reflect on their relationship and what they want for the future. This time apart can help couples decide whether they want to try to save their marriage or whether they are ready to move on with a divorce. 

However, a trial separation can also lead to a final separation and ultimately to divorce. In some cases, the time apart may make it clear to one or both parties that the marriage is irretrievably broken and that a divorce is the best option.

Related Reading: 5 Important Rules for Trial Separation in Marriage

5 ways to survive a trial separation

Going through a trial separation can be an incredibly challenging and emotional time for couples. However, there are ways to make the process more manageable and increase the likelihood of a successful outcome. Here are five practical trial separation tips:

1. Communicate openly and honestly

The most important thing you can do during a trial separation agreement is to communicate with your partner openly and honestly. Be clear about your feelings, needs, and expectations for the separation. Discuss any boundaries you want to set and any concerns you have. 

By communicating effectively, you can avoid misunderstandings and work towards a common goal to experience the benefits of a trial separation.

Related Reading: Open Communication In a Relationship: How to Make it Work

2. Take time for self-care: 

During a trial separation, it’s essential to take care of yourself. Take time to engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. This can include exercise, meditation, reading, or spending time with friends and family. 

Taking care of yourself will help you stay grounded and better able to handle the emotional stress of the separation.

3. Seek support: 

Going through a trial separation can be incredibly isolating. It’s essential to seek support from family, friends, or a therapist. Having a support network can help you process your emotions and stay focused on your goals. 

You may also want to consider joining a support group for people going through a separation or divorce and seek some of the benefits of a trial separation.

Related Reading: 20 Steps to Becoming a Supportive Partner

4. Use the time apart productively

The time apart during a trial separation can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Use this time to work on yourself and address any issues that may have contributed to the breakdown of your relationship. 

This could include therapy, self-help books, or personal development courses.

5. Stay focused on your goals

It’s important to stay focused on your goals during a trial separation. Decide what you want to achieve during this time and work towards those goals. 

This could include working on your communication skills, addressing personal issues, or determining whether you want to reconcile or move forward with a divorce. By staying focused, you can make the most of this time and increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.

Some more questions to consider

Are you considering a trial separation? This question-answer section provides clarity to some more common aspects about the potential benefits and phases of a trial separation for your relationship and personal growth.

• How long does the average separation last? 

There is no particular trial separation statistics or set duration for a trial separation in marriage as it can vary widely depending on the couple’s circumstances. Some may only separate for a few weeks, while others may be separated for several months or even years.

• How many marriages survive a trial separation?

There is no clear data on how many marriages survive a trial separation, as it ultimately depends on the specific circumstances and actions taken by the couple during and after the separation period. Some couples are able to reconcile and strengthen their relationship, while others may ultimately choose to divorce.

• Should you date during a trial separation?

It’s generally not recommended to date during a trial separation, as it can complicate the process and potentially undermine the goal of the separation. It’s important to focus on personal growth and reflection during this time rather than seeking out new relationships.

A trial separation doesn’t necessarily lead to permanent separation

A trial separation can be a challenging and emotional time, but it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and reflection. Try to stick to the trial separation boundaries during this tenure. Work on yourself and seek couples counseling if need be.

By communicating effectively, taking care of yourself, seeking support, using the time apart productively, and staying focused on your goals, you can make the most of this phase and increase the likelihood of a positive outcome for both you and your partner.