Marriage is a serious bond that couples go for when they really understand each other and feel like they can spend their lives with each other.
Marriage is a huge commitment and is not to be taken lightly.
The first few years usually go by in bliss, but after that, it might seem that it isn’t working. Constant fights, feelings of resentment and not enjoying spending time with each other may lead you to believe that the marriage is dead and cannot be saved.
That may be the case but don’t be too hasty in making such a huge decision.
There a few things you can try, and if they don’t seem to work out, then you can seriously consider divorce.
1. Talking instead of arguing
Everyone has problems in relationships.
The secret to happy couples is that they talk things out in a calm manner rather than arguing and throwing around blame.
When your partner does something that negatively affects you, it is better to explain to them why you don’t like what they said or did rather than just saying that it is their fault that you feel this way.
This will promote communication, and your partner will usually reciprocate approaching you with things that they don’t appreciate rather than blaming you.
2. Solve problems together
There are a lot of challenges that you will face throughout life.
These challenges can make you seem that you are alone and you have to deal with them alone but don’t forget that your partner is just that. Your partner, in everything that you do in life.
When you have problems, share them with your partner. You will find that your burden will get a lot lighter if someone is there to help you share it.
Don’t let things like pride or ego get in the way.
3. Physical contact helps
Physical contact doesn’t just mean sex.
Holding hands, hugs and kisses, basically any form of physical contact with the person you love produces a chemical known as oxytocin which is the euphoria chemical.
It helps reduce stress hormones and lower the level of cortisol in your body. This, in turn, makes you feel happy and relaxed so try to sneak in at least a kiss or a hug every day.
4. Team building exercises
Try to perform activities that put you in the mindset of us against them. This makes you think and act as one unit.
Promoting feelings of cooperation and solving problems together helps you solidify your relationship.
You are each other’s rock, and you can lean on one another at any time.
Playing games together and competing against other couples helps build teamwork. Try to take each other’s side whenever possible, even when you know your partner is wrong or misguided.
Blind faith is a huge motivator for people to not let you down.
5. Praise each other
Try to express the good qualities of your partner whenever possible. This will help your partner know that they are appreciated and have good qualities.
Don’t try to ignore the bad qualities, but try to accept them instead.
If you ignore them then whenever they exhibit that quality you will be mad. But, if you accept their bad quality, then whenever they do that you will smile knowing how well you know your partner.
6. Forgive each other
Forgiveness plays a huge part in any relationship.
You cannot hold on to blame. Holding on to grudges will only foster feelings of resentment. You need to be willing to forgive because that is the way to move forward.
If all else fails, then it is time for some serious considerations
If none of these seems to affect, then it might be time to pull out the big guns.
If you feel like nothing you do seems to work and your partner is putting in zero effort then you need to talk with them. Let them know that this is how you feel and that you are seriously considering the possibility of a divorce.
More often than not your partner will have no idea that you feel this way, and after hearing you out, they will change themselves for the better.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.