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It’s a horrible feeling when you recognize that things aren’t working in your marriage. A failing marriage is the worst relationship catastrophe that you can imagine. It leaves a trail of pain, anguish, and disenchantment.
You may want to be together but feel that there is too much broken or wrong with your relationship to make that happen.
It’s not an easy thing to admit that things aren’t going well, but the good news is that you can help to get things back on track.
You can work through the biggest challenges if you align and address the issues that are bringing you both down.
This will involve both of you and a willingness to admit when your marriage is broken, what went wrong and made you and your spouse bring you to the verge of a broken marriage and then find ways to repair the broken marriage.
On the other hand, some couples may take the route of giving up rather than saving a marriage, but that doesn’t need to be your reality.
At the very least, it’s well worth trying out these steps to see how they work for you. Ultimately this may help you to recover a failing marriage.
If you are wondering about how to fix a broken relationship or marriage, you need to take a step back, reflect, and consider what is truly wrong and then try out these ways on how to rekindle a marriage.
1. Identify what made you fall in love
It’s heartbreaking when you think about how madly you were in love with your partner and how damaged your relationship has gotten.
If you are thinking about how to repair a broken marriage or how to mend a broken relationship get back to basics and put yourself into the mindset of when you were first together and first in love.
Think about what made you both fall in love with one another and maybe even write it down.
Consider what you adored about this person and what made you want to be with them.
Though you may have lost sight of this, thinking back to when times were good and you had just fallen in love can really help to lift your spirits and heal your broken marriage.
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Write down their best traits and you may even find that they are still there, but you’ve had a hard time getting in touch with them lately.
2. Start to listen to each other again
Have conversations again and really start to communicate with one another. Listen to what your spouse is telling you, and then ask the same from them.
Really make it a point to listen to one another again and it may very well be what helps you to uncover what was once great about your marriage.
Wondering how to make a marriage work? Just listen to your partner, try to understand what they need.
3. Reflect on what has made your marriage feel broken
Why do marriages fail? Where did things go wrong? What happened that got you to the point of a broken marriage? Have you grown apart? Did one of you cheat? Or did life just get in the way?
Identifying the causes of a broken marriage is important in order to fix one.
These are some of the reasons why marriages fall apart:
- Communication gap
When couples stop sharing things with each other and expressing themselves, they weaken their chord of connection. When their connection becomes fragile, their relationship also loses its strength.
This is one of the signs of a failing marriage. If your marriage is on the verge of falling apart, you must strengthen your connection by communicating more. The death of communication can drive a wedge between you and your partner.
- Lack of care and affection
With time passion fades in a relationship and couples stop showing affection and care towards each other.
Eventually, all the sweetness and warmth of the relationship goes away and there is no joy left in the marriage. This can cause a marriage to fall apart.
Crisis situations can either make a marriage stronger or it can break it.
In difficult times, how couples support each other determines how good or bad their relationship is going to become. When partners don’t support each other, it shows they are in a failing marriage.
Even if a relationship has gone through such problems, saving a broken marriage is not impossible. There are plenty of circumstances for which you can work through even though they have chipped away at the marriage to this point.
Think of when things went from good to bad, and then try to find a solution to fix a broken relationship or in fixing a broken marriage.
Check out this video by relationship expert Mary Kay Cocharo on how to fix or repair a broken marriage:
4. Talk to each other
Be patient with one another, even in the areas that seem to present the biggest problems.
Talk TO one another rather than AT one another. This is part of listening, for when you increase communication it helps you to connect again.
Be patient and willing to work through the problems and know that it will lead you to better times overall. This is a critical issue to keep in mind when saving your marriage from falling apart.
5. Don’t let distractions get in the way of your relationship
Sure you may have kids and careers and a whole lot of other things in your life, but don’t let them stand in the way of your marriage.
Life gets busy but a couple must grow together and align throughout the good and bad times.
Make it a point to date again, to talk more, and to ensure that you are still a unified source no matter how busy life may get. Keep dating your partner, dating is the key to save a broken marriage.
It helps because as you schedule dates to meet each other with a free mind, you can keep yourselves accountable to one another.
6. Find a way to connect again
Think of what it would take to connect with each other once again.
Plan a trip for just the two of you. Commit to spending even a few minutes together every night chatting. Go out on dates and make each other a priority.
When you can find your way back to one another again and truly reconnect, then it may help to fix a broken marriage.
These suggestions on how to save a marriage and how to deal with a broken marriage will surely help you salvage your relationship.
Sometimes it’s a matter of reflecting upon things that will help you to find lasting happiness, even when you thought that the marriage is falling apart—this is how to make a broken marriage work and enjoy that happily ever after that you always dreamed of!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.