Are you already married or planning to get married soon? Have you ever wondered about what the future will bring to your marriage? Do you feel a little scared about your future and the trials that both of you will be facing? Don’t worry because you are not alone.
We all fear what we don’t know yet so even if you are secured with your relationship now, you really don’t have an idea of what the future will bring.
What makes a marriage work despite the trials and challenges? What are the things that you and your spouse can do to make sure that you don’t fall out of love or just don’t end up in a divorce?
More than just a promise
Marriage isn’t just about how sincere your vows are. It requires years of chances for you to prove the truthfulness of those promises to your spouse. When you decide to get married, you have to be ready to handle lots of changes.
These aren’t just about the bad habits of your spouse, the irritating friends that they can’t leave behind or how your spouse can forget about putting down the toilet seat — it’s far more than that.
It’s the challenges that you will be facing and the trials that will test your love and patience in the relationship. If you don’t have a solid foundation in your relationship, it can easily be destroyed.
No matter how long you have known each other, if that foundation isn’t solid enough, don’t expect a healthy marriage.
A “healthy” marriage
Don’t expect a problem-free marriage because that’s not possible. What you can have is what we call a healthy marriage where there are people who, despite all the trials will never give up on each other and will come out stronger than before.
Don’t just focus on love alone when you are deciding to get married. While it’s one of the purest emotions, love alone is not what makes a marriage work.
Aim for a healthy relationship even before you tie the knot. Build your relationship around love, respect, and commitment and strengthen that foundation. From there, as you accept your new roles as husband and wife – you also work on some simple traits that will help you strengthen your vows.
What makes a marriage work?
Let’s take a look at some of the most valued principles when it comes to a healthy marriage.
A healthy marriage is centered on commitment.
A couple who is committed with each other means that you are both dedicated to your sworn partnership and will do your best to maintain a long-term standpoint in life to be together no matter what.
Whatever problems may arise, your commitment to each other is unshakeable.
A couple who is satisfied with their marriage is found in every healthy marriage.
Being satisfied with your marriage doesn’t mean that you’re problem-free, it only means that you are satisfied by how committed you are in your relationship and even with trials, you know you are with the person you need to get through.
How do you strengthen your connection with your spouse? How do you resolve a conflict? Using clear communication and a habit of opening up to your spouse is another key ingredient to solve problems and is, in fact, one of the strongest indicators that you have a healthy relationship.
You’d be surprised how you can be the best of friends even if you’re married. Don’t be afraid to open up and communicate.
4. Emotional strength and intimacy
Support your spouse and show how you value them as a person. Be intimate and show how you will be supportive of them. Focusing on how you make your spouse feel loved and supported is priceless. An emotionally strong relationship won’t easily be destroyed.
5. Best friends
In healthy marriages, your spouse is also your best friend. It’s possible and it’s the most amazing relationship that married couples can have.
Sure you are still two different people but together, you’ll be amazing and what better way to live your life than to be together as best of friends.
6. Committed parents
As parents, both of you will make a new set of commitments that will now include your children. Together, you’ll grow as one happy family that respects each other and supports each other all the time.
7. Resolve conflicts
Couples who already know how communication helps will also establish a healthy way to resolve conflicts.
Have ways to resolve problems using planning, understanding, compromising and discussing the best possible solutions you can use. Your approach to how you solve your problems will play a huge part on how your marriage will work out.
8. No to any kind of abuse
Abuse comes in many forms and not just in physical or emotional forms.
Healthy marriages never witness any kind of aggression or any form of abuse no matter how problematic the marriage is.
No relationship can work out if there is abuse.
Infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce so this means that a healthy marriage that centers on faithfulness not just sexually but also emotionally will last longer. Be faithful to each other and you will have a lasting union.
Shaping your future together
There is no exact recipe or manual to follow if you want your marriage to work out. Each marriage is unique so we should not focus on each other’s differences but rather, we need to focus on the things that all of us can handle such as the tips that were given above.
All couples can work on these guides and see how it works for them. Shaping your future together won’t be accomplished in one of two years; in fact it can take up to a decade to finally say that you have made your marriage strong and stable.
What makes a marriage work isn’t just how much you love a person but how you would do everything to make your vows a reality and how much you are committed enough to ensure that giving up on the person you married isn’t an option.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.