As much as we want to, there is no marriage that is perfect. Every marriage will face its own trials and hardships — that’s life. Now, it’s up to you and your spouse how you can overcome these challenges and still come out strong. Marriage struggles are normal but when you are already in this situation, sometimes, you have to ask yourself, “How do you overcome hardships in marriage?”
Do you still remember your marriage vows and the feelings that you had while you were saying them to your spouse? These vows would have included the promise to be together through thick or thin, for richer, or poorer, for better or for worse — till death do you part. You may have chosen another word or another phrase but marriage vows all point to one thing.
No matter what happens, no matter the marriage struggles, you and your spouse will face it together and stronger.
The first few years of marriage
It is said that within the first few years of marriage, you’ll both be tested. This is the time where both of you will adjust not just with each other but also with dealing with your in-laws and even with your spouse’s friends.
Living together as a married couple isn’t easy. You’ll start seeing the not-so-good qualities of your spouse and that will really test you and your patience. Often times, disagreements will start and temptations, as well as trials, will start showing up.
There are marriages that end up in divorce while others end up stronger together. What’s the difference? Are they missing out on something or are these couples just aren’t meant for each other?
Marriage requires two people to grow and work on it together. It doesn’t mean that they’re not experiencing challenges but rather they are strong enough to stay committed in their relationship.
Different types of marriage struggles
Marriage struggles require two people willing to commit and fix the problem and not ignore it. When there are too many hardships in a marriage, one or both of the spouses might seek counseling or just ignore the problem and find ways to get distracted. How you approach your marriage trials will ultimately lead to the road that both of you will take.
Here’s a list of the most common marriage struggles and the best ways to overcome them.
The problem: When you don’t have time for each other
When you have children, another set of adjustments is on its way. There will be sleepless nights when you are exhausted beyond words and you tend to neglect not only yourself but your spouse as well.
It does happen and it can lead to your marriage drifting apart. When you no longer have time to get close or intimate, when you are in the same house but you really don’t see each other like you used to.
It is a great adjustment to have children but instead of focusing everything by yourself, try to share the responsibilities.
Take turns in taking care of your little one; spend quality time together if there’s time. It’s hard to fix your schedule but if the two of you can compromise and meet half way — it’s definitely going to work.
The problem: Financial struggles
One of the most common marital struggles that couples face is none other than financial struggle. This may be one of the toughest trials any couple can face and it can ruin a marriage. It’s understandable to want to buy something for yourself especially when you’re the breadwinner but doing this behind your spouse is a wrong move.
Think about this, money can be earned and no matter what the situation is now if both of you commit and work together instead of against each other, you’ll overcome this problem.
Try to live a simple life, commit to only focus on your needs first and never keep money secrets to your spouse.
Talk to them and compromise.
The problem: Keeping secrets and infidelity
Unfaithfulness, temptations and secrets are like fire that can destroy a marriage. Starting with small lies, the so-called harmless flirtations, to the actual act of unfaithfulness can and will often lead to divorce.
Every couple will face temptations or different situations where someone will test their faith in their marriage. What do you do in case this happens?
Recommit to the marriage. Remember your vows and just appreciate your family.
Are you willing to lose them because of this?
The problem: Health issues
Sickness is another test that some couples face. What if your spouse faces a terrible illness that will require you to take care of them for years? Can you juggle your time to work and take care of your sick spouse? Sadly, some people, no matter how they love their spouses would just give up when everything becomes too overwhelming.
This is tough and at times can become depressing especially when you have to give up on your dreams and career just to take care of your spouse. Hold on not just with your sanity but also to your vows and to your spouse.
Remember that you promised to be with each other through sickness and in health. If you have to, seek help but don’t give up.
The problem: Falling out of love
Falling out of love for your spouse is a common reason why some marriage will face divorce. With all the issues, struggles or just the realization that you’re losing that feeling of love for your spouse is already enough for you to give up. Think again.
Without proper care, even the most precious gems would fade and so will your marriage. Work on it before giving up. Go on a date, talk and listen to each other. Find something that both of you will enjoy and most of all, appreciate all the years that you have been together.
Secret to a long lasting marriage
Marriage isn’t about luck or finding your happily-ever-after. It’s two normal people who, despite all the marriage struggles have chosen to put their personal needs aside and started to think how they can work on their marriage. Remember that when you decided to get married, you made a promise and as easy as you can break that promise, there are also many ways on how you can keep it. Treasure your spouse, your marriage, and your family.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.