“Money can’t buy happiness.” A short statement, a familiar quote to most of us and while some of us would agree to this, some would also argue about the reality on how financial difficulties affect marriage.
Married couples who argue about money isn’t new, in fact you might even know someone who is experiencing this type of challenge in their marriage or maybe you can relate to this topic as well.
Every marriage has their own share of trials and when it comes to financial difficulties, how are you going to overcome it and make your marriage stronger?
The importance of money in marriage
We all know that money can’t buy happiness and yes that’s true but this quote is also pertaining to different situations.
It doesn’t say that money is not important because that would be unrealistic.
Money is important, we won’t be able to do anything without it, that is why financial difficulties maybe one of the biggest challenges for us adults.
Economic difficulties make it hard for most of us to earn money and save, that’s why before tying the knot, one needs to be sure that they are financially ready as well.
If not, then expect financial problems in marriage and learning how financial difficulties affect marriage may not be so easy.
Along with every necessity that we have, money and marriage are connected.
From the wedding rings to the wedding itself, you’ll need to save money for it. Marriage means that you will start your own family and that’s not easy, from establishing your own home, car, and raising children would of course require a stable job which means a stable flow of income.
Money problems in marriage is of course normal.
It’s impossible not to experience challenges in your finances especially when there are unexpected emergencies to think about but it’s how financial difficulties affect marriage that can lead to a stronger union or marriage crisis.
Financial difficulties leading to divorce
When does money issues in marriage become destructive?
Reality is, financial problems cause divorce and most couples part ways and learn to let go of their dreams just because dealing with financial stress in marriage has taken a toll on their marriage.
These are the most common financial issues in marriage that can lead to disagreements and ultimately, to divorce.
1. Lifestyle differences
Spouses have differences and that’s perfectly normal. It’s how you overcome it and meet half way but we have to understand that lifestyle differences are one of the things that is hard to overcome.
What if you like budget deals and your spouse loves branded items?
If you are not there to support your spouse’s expensive taste then this might pose a problem. If you do and you don’t feel good about it, you start resenting your spouse’s choices and personality altogether.
2. Salary differences
Financial implications of marriage may also come from having very different salary.
One might feel that it’s unfair to have to shoulder the bigger part of the expenses. It can cause a feeling of being tired and fed up.
How financial difficulties affect marriage is also based on how you see your position in the marriage. Do you consider yourself as the breadwinner? If so, are you okay with having to shoulder most of the expenses?
3. Financial infidelity
Giving yourself a break sometimes is best.
Finances and marriage problems will always be there so it’s nice to buy yourself something nice for a change but what if it becomes a habit?
What if you start committing financial infidelity? Do you take 10 or 20% from your salary to have your own secret budget for the things that you like?
This might look liberating for some but once you get the hang of it, it can cause bigger problems as well.
4. Unrealistic expectations
When you got married, did you dream of having a grand lifestyle?
Did you expect to achieve your financial goals within 5 years? What if it didn’t happen? What if you weren’t able to buy a new car or travel twice a year because of your financial struggles?
Will you already hate your marriage and your spouse?
5. Lifestyle jealousy
Being married is all about love, respect, happiness and the ability to know how to overcome financial problems that could arise.
Do you find yourself jealous of your friends financial standing? Do you wish that you can also afford two cars and two houses? Lifestyle jealousy is very common and is one of the things that can cause financial stress in marriage and even how you view your life.
Dealing with financial stress in marriage
Marriage and money problems will always be present, in fact there will always be trials in your marriage. How financial difficulties affect marriage will depend on how you and your partner will face the challenges that life will give you.
Will you let your differences get the best of you or will you face it as partners?
Marriage is a partnership and through these simple steps, you would be able to:
- Learn to live your life based on your actual income. It doesn’t matter if you were used to branded things before. This is your life now and adjusting to what you can afford isn’t depriving yourself – it’s being wise.
- To avoid conflicts, don’t apply the “yours” and “mine” rule instead it’s “ours”. You are married and marriage is a partnership.
- Don’t start lying about money. It will never do you any good. Just like any type of infidelity, keeping secrets is always discouraged. Tell your spouse if you want something, if you can afford it, why not? If you can’t, maybe save up for it.
- Focus on budgeting and set goals. Work together and then the both of you will see how flexible you can be and how you can even save a little for your enjoyment. Don’t expect too much and most of all, don’t get jealous of other couple’s financial status. Appreciate yourself and your spouse for doing their best instead.
How financial difficulties affect marriage is all up to you. Will you let it ruin your trust, love, and reasoning or will you work together and compromise to surpass any financial challenges you are experiencing?
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.