You may be head over heels in love with your partner but, does he feel the same way about you? Chances are your partner is only emotionally dependent on you and not in love with you. When you are in love, you are oblivious to everything else and do not wonder about all of this. But you need to know if your partner really enjoys spending time with you or he sticks around just because he feels obligated to. If he only expects you to make him feel loved and safe, then your partner is just emotionally dependent on you. This is not love! Here are a few ways in which you can understand if someone you love is emotionally dependent on you.
1. Constant fear of losing your approval
If someone believes that their spouse’s validation matters more than what they themselves think, it only shows how dependent they are. If someone you love is always trying to please you as they are too afraid to lose your approval, it will eventually take away their own identity. And if you remain oblivious to this, you will further encourage your partner to be dependent on you. And if you see him trying to change too much for you, it’s a clear signal.
2. Dishonesty and lies
Dependency also builds fear. It’s not that your partner intentionally lies to you, but he fears what you would think about it and tries to cover the truth. When you are unable to open up to each other, the relationship becomes toxic. You start feeling pressurized and, in turn, you start pressurizing him not to say or do things that you are uncomfortable with. If the relationship were based on love, there would be no place for lies or dishonesty as you’d feel free to share anything and everything.
3. Over possessiveness and jealousy
Being a bit possessive about your loved one may be cute, but over possessiveness is not okay. If he’s always worried about you hanging out with others because he is too afraid you will get stolen away from him, then this will create misunderstandings between you. In a loving relationship, there is no need for constant reminders that your partner loves you. Jealousy can become toxic in any relationship, it will make your partner feel insecure.
4. Lack of personal space
Before you began your relationship, you had your own life. A relationship does not have to throw away all that you did before. But if it is suffocating an you feel pressured into doing something your partner wants, it shows that you are only doing it to stay in your partner’s good graces. You can tell if two people are in a loving relationship if they let each other take time off to do their own thing. Everybody needs space. Otherwise, the relationship is only based on a desperate need for attention, nothing else.
5. Trying to change too much
It sounds pretty clichéd to love someone just the way he/she is. But trust me, in a loving relationship, it is possible. If you feel your partner is trying to change too much about you, or he keeps complaining about your traits, it is a clear sign that he does not love you but only depends on you emotionally. Remember the person you were before your partner fell in love with you. The right relationship does not let you compromise on who you are as an individual.
Every relationship should come from a place of love, not a place of desperation or neediness. It should bring the couple peace, comfort, and bliss. But if it evokes fear, jealousy, or worry, something is seriously wrong. These are a few signs to look out for to identify if someone truly loves you or is just emotionally dependent. If your affection dictates how your partner feels about himself, he will never be able to grow out of it. While love is a kind of dependency, it should not be emotionally impaired. Only when both individuals feel validated can the relationship last and be healthy.