Sometimes emotional availability is a short-term issue that people have if they have recently gotten out of a relationship, have trust issues, or are still trying to deal with other issues from their past. Other times, emotional availability could be more of a long-term problem that people have due to fears, their upbringing, their emotional connectedness to the world, or a whole slew of other reasons. Being in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable could be very difficult and lonely because no matter how hard you try to connect emotionally with a person who is this way, they are not capable of doing it, and it could turn into a huge barrier in your relationship that builds up resentments and negative thoughts or feelings. Do you feel like you might be married to someone who is like this? Take this short quiz to determine if your husband is emotionally unavailable.
1. Does your husband generally express his emotions appropriately through affection and other means of emotionally connecting with you?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. I am not sure
D. No
2. Are you able to have deep conversations with your husband about serious things without feeling like you are pulling it out of him or like he is trying to avoid emotional topics?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. Usually yes, but not recently
D. No
3. Do you have a fulfilling sex life?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. Typically, we do, but not lately
D. Rarely
4. Do his words match his actions?
A. Most of the time
B. Sometimes
C. Usually, but not recently
D. Rarely
5. Does it seem like you are always the one to blame for everything, and any time you get in an argument, you are made out to be the problem?
A. Rarely
B. Sometimes
C. Lately, yes
D. Yes, all of the time
6. Does it seem like your husband stays inside of his shell and never shows you how he really feels or what he is really thinking?
A. No
B. Sometimes
C. Rarely
D. Yes
7. Do you feel like you are always contributing more to the relationship and putting in most of the effort?
A. Not really
B. Sometimes
C. Lately, yes
D. Yes, always
8. Does he lack empathy and compassion?
A. Rarely
B. Sometimes
C. Lately, it seems that way
D. Yes
9. Has he suffered a lot of heartache in his life, trauma, negative childhood experiences, or other emotionally harmful events?
A. Nothing that would still be affecting him
B. I am not really sure
C. Somewhat
D. Yes
10. Has anything happened recently that has caused this change in his emotional availability, or has he always been this way?
A. I am not sure
B. I think a little bit of both
C. Yes, he has definitely become this way recently
D. Yes, he has always been this way
