10 Signs of Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout in Marriage

A healthy and strong marriage is what all of us want, but sometimes it can be difficult for our emotional health.

The biggest issue is that most of us aren’t aware of emotional exhaustion in marriage and fail to tackle it properly. It’s time to change that!

Emotional exhaustion can be very harmful to your health, causing eating disorders, headaches, stomach pain, etc.

Read on to learn more about 10 signs and symptoms of emotional exhaustion in marriage.

1. Unexplained discomfort

The biggest problem with emotional burnout in a marriage is the complete lack of awareness of it at the beginning.

You feel something is not right but aren’t sure what. That happens because, on a deeper level, we don’t want to admit something in the marriage isn’t working.

We ignore some problems for so long that we become oblivious to them. Regardless of how much we pretend they don’t exist, the problems affecting our emotions don’t go away and manifest themselves in other forms.

The restlessness, discomfort, and “gut” feeling are important signs of emotional exhaustion you shouldn’t ignore. Try to uncover the root cause. Once you identify the reason behind the discomfort, you will feel much better.

2. You are constantly burned out

Feeling emotionally tired is a common occurrence, especially today when most of us have a hectic and busy lifestyle.

Tons of things to do at work, errands to run, and professional and personal commitments drain our energy levels. Marriage-related problems can do the same.

Stress levels accumulate due to unresolved problems in marriage, making you feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

What you should never do is ignore stress and exhaustion and find simple ways to reenergize and feel better.

Fix yourself the best detox drink you can find and allow your body to eliminate all the toxins so you can feel calm and ready to tackle any problem in your way, including marriage-related issues.

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3. Lack of motivation

A common sign of high levels of exhaustion in marriage is the absence of motivation to do anything with or for the spouse.

You don’t want to look your best anymore, ideas of activities to do and places to see have vanished, and you really have no desire to spend a lot of time with that person.

Don’t blame yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean marriage is over and love is gone. Lack of motivation points to a deeper problem you two haven’t resolved just yet.

4. You prefer being alone

The truth is that spending some time alone is not such a bad thing. All of us need a little bit of “me time” to do something relaxing and make the stress caused by everyday life go away.

But, when a person wants to be alone all the time, it is a sign of emotional exhaustion in marriage.

Preferring to spend time all by yourself rather than being in the same room with the spouse means you are emotionally drained.

According to marriage & family therapist Lisa Seid:

While it might seem easiest at the moment, ignoring the signs of emotional fatigue or exhaustion will only complicate and make things worse because it’s hard to resolve new issues that arise in life and marriage when your tank is already empty.

The marriage has become so heavy that you find “me time” a sort of rescue or salvation.

To overcome this emotional detachment symptom, determine whether you’re really happier alone or you just don’t want to go through marriage-related issues with the significant other.

5. Feeling like your needs aren’t met

Research has suggested that spousal support is an essential aspect of managing emotional exhaustion in marriage.

In marriage, two people try to meet each other’s needs or just rely on the support of a loved one. Balance is important here.

If you want to rely on a spouse’s support, you have to offer the same. It’s not uncommon for people to notice there is no balance at all.

A major contributor to emotional exhaustion in a marriage is the uncomfortable feeling that you can’t rely on the spouse and their support and do not believe they care about your needs at all.

If you feel like a giver and the spouse is just a taker, it’s time to have a conversation where you’ll lay out these problems in the open.

Otherwise, emotional exhaustion could aggravate. An honest conversation can do wonders.

6. You constantly think about divorce

Does it feel like the idea of divorce seems reasonable, and you find yourself thinking about it quite often?

When a relationship or marriage becomes too heavy on emotions, you may think about the exit. This is the telltale sign of serious emotional exhaustion you need to tackle as soon as possible.

7. Walking on eggshells

A healthy marriage is supposed to be peaceful i.e.; you should feel relaxed, free, and able to share everything with the spouse.

However, if a marriage reaches the point where you have to watch what you do or say constantly, it can be difficult for your emotions.

Nobody likes to feel they need to walk on eggshells in someone’s presence.

Some signs of walking on eggshells include feeling nervous when talking about some subjects because the spouse may get angry, fearing you’ll get in trouble, and focusing on “how they will react” whenever you want to do something for yourself.

8. Feeling controlled

Marriage is not, nor should it be a prison.

Feeling bad or worried about the spouse’s reactions when you’re hanging out with friends, buying something for yourself, or even talking with friends and family on the phone can lead to emotional exhaustion.

The feeling of control induces stress and anxiety, which can have negative consequences on your health and even decrease productivity at work.

9. You’re in a bad mood all the time

The mood is not constant; it goes up and down. Prolonged periods of a bad mood in marriage point to deeper problems and ever-growing negativity.

They are a sign of deep emotional problems or drained energy caused by unresolved issues between two people.

10. Low self-esteem

A strong marriage allows two people to be the best versions of themselves and boosts their confidence. However, if your self-esteem is low lately, it could be due to emotional exhaustion in marriage.

Rule out other potential causes of low self-esteem, such as depression, anxiety, and work. If none of these apply to you, Your relationship with your spouse could be the reason for your emotional exhaustion. It’s not uncommon for people to feel insecure about themselves due to their spouse’s behavior.

But the truth is your spouse may not realize this, so it’s important to communicate clearly.

Conclusion

Marriage comes with ups and downs, which may take their toll on our emotional health.

Emotional exhaustion in marriage manifests itself through an array of subtle signs and symptoms that you may want to remember in order to learn how to recognize them.

Once identified, you can move on to tackle these problems through communication, seeking marriage counseling, or in other ways.

Do you suffer from emotional exhaustion in marriage? How many of these symptoms do you experience?