Is Your Husband Gay? 6 Alarming Signs

Is Your Husband Gay 19 Signs to Look out For

Do you have suspicions that make you question if your husband is gay?  Maybe you have a mild alarm bell that rings occasionally.

If you have had any notion at all that this is a possibility, it might pay you to put your mind at rest by checking out these 6 signs your Husband might be gay.  

All of which have been expressed by women who found out that their husband was gay.

Issues concerning marital sex

Issues concerning sexual desire alone are not indicative that your husband is gay. But these issues were cited as indicators by women who’s husband did turn out to be gay.  

If you notice some of these signs as well as some of the other signs that might be a clue, then your suspicion is correct.

But remember, there can be many reasons why sex in a marriage is less than satisfying.

1. Lack of passion

Lack of passion

When he’s in the moment with you, he’s mechanical and doesn’t seem to be passionate or interested in any acts of foreplay.

2. Accuse partner falsely

He has or does accuse you of being a nymphomaniac or oversexed when you know your sexual appetite is healthy. 

3. Lack of interest in sex

He doesn’t seem to be turned on by regular sexual activity.

4. Preference for sexual enhancers

Some women claimed to have found sexual enhancers such as Viagra hidden around the marital home, even though they hadn’t had sex with their husband for some time.   

He likes to have sex toys used on him more frequently than would appear to be ‘normal.’ He might use reasons such as he likes to have his prostate stimulated or that he loves kinky sex.

5. Online encounters

  • His phone or computer browsing history is always ‘clean.’  
  • Pop-ups of gay pornography have appeared on the computer he uses, even though he claims he has nothing to do with it.  
  • His social media contacts are unusual and full of people, or new friends that you don’t know how he knows them and many of which are gay.  
  • He has a profile on a gay dating site.

The last point is a glaring sign. No straight man puts his profile on a gay dating site unless his photographs have been stolen. Also, he wouldn’t be adding a lot of gay men to his social media at the same time.

6. Behavioral patterns

Husband's behavioral patterns also reflects if he's gay or not

There will also be signs that your husband might be gay in his behavioral patterns especially concerning other gay men such as-

  • He visits gay bars even though he will claim that he’s just there to socialize with his gay friends.  
  • He watches or seems to be comfortable watching pornography with gay male scenes.  
  • He seems to relish compliments from gay men.  
  • He talks a lot about gay people in conversation – more than is usual.
  • He might even appear to be homophobic and make a lot of comments about gay people in a derogatory manner.
  • You don’t notice him checking out other women.
  • You have noticed him checking out other men.
  • He makes eye contact with another man that seems to linger a little too long.
  • He goes out of his way to get a hug out of his pals.
  • He initiates activities with his pals where they might be naked together such as getting in a sauna or hot tub.  
  • He obsesses on the sexuality of others.

Of course, some of these examples can indicate other situations or problems in a marriage, or even just the usual practices of a slightly effeminate straight male. However, if you notice a number of these signs, then there might be more to the situation than your husband might like you to believe.  

The future course of actions

If he’s gay the first thing you need to do is to talk it out

In most cases, if your husband has been hiding gay tendencies from you, it’s probably because he is in the closet and doesn’t know how to come out to your or anybody else in his life. It’s not easy if you have built up a life with good intentions that you now find difficult to sustain.  

If you do find that your husband is showing signs that he’s gay the first thing that you’ll need to do is to sit down and talk to him. It is entirely possible that he might deny that he’s gay from the offset.  Without giving you any satisfactory answers to your questions.

If you find yourself in that situation, you will have to decide what you would like to do. If you can live in a marriage where you are sure that your husband might be gay, some personal counseling might help you work through this so that you can find the right way forward for you.  

If your husband does admit that he is gay, it’s important to remember that he didn’t choose this life to hurt you.  

Keeping that in mind, you may experience a sense of loss and heartache which you’ll need to process, but perhaps you could seek out some help and support or counseling to help you navigate this situation together, in love and kindness.