21 Clear Signs He Is Hurting After the Breakup and What to Do

Breakups are never easy to deal with, even for the emotionally strongest. They make you emotionally and physically weak. You begin to question yourself, blame yourself or others, and seek closure as soon as possible. Not sure if your breakup has affected him or not? Here are some clear signs he is hurting after the breakup, and what you can do about it.

Since you and your ex have probably parted ways and no longer see eye-to-eye like before, it’s hardly possible to tell the signs he is hurting after the breakup or signs you really hurt him after the breakup.  So, how do you know he is hurting after the breakup? Luckily for you, we have a solution here. In this article, we have compiled the unmistakable signs he is hurting after the breakup.

Without further ado. Let’s dive straight into the topic.

Related Reading: How to Get Over a Breakup: 25 Ways to Move On

Does a guy hurt after a breakup?

Do guys hurt after a breakup? Yes. Many guys are broken after the end of a relationship. You may see that he acts like he doesn’t care about a breakup but believe it affects him emotionally. 

A relationship is like a business venture where you invest a lot into it from the foundation to make it well established. In a typical relationship, people’s investment includes time, resources, mutual friends, money, and feelings. Also, partners sacrifice and compromise to make each other satisfied and happy. 

If the relationship ends in the long haul, it affects the partners one way all the other. There is a display of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, fear, and confusion. Women tend to be articulate with their emotions and feelings, so you may see them speaking up after the breakup. 

However, expression of feelings is a different ball game for men. They are pretty skillful at masking their real emotions, so if they are hurting after a break up, they won’t show it because society teaches them to be strong in adversities. 

Even if he acts like he doesn’t care about a breakup, know that he is hurting. So, how do you know the signs he is hurting after a breakup. What do guys think after a breakup, and how do they act?

All you need is to look for signs he is hurting after a breakup or how guys act when they are hurt.

Learn more about how long it takes to get over a breakup in this video:

How does a guy behave after a breakup

Another situation that seems confusing to women is guys’ behavior after a breakup. Many people want to know how guys act when they are hurt or go through pain after a breakup. Indeed, men and women are wired differently, especially when showing pain after a breakup.

Men tend to find the courage and keep their emotions hidden from everyone instead of seeking how to stop hurting after a breakup. 

Related Reading: How Does A Guy Behave After A Breakup

21 Signs he is hurt after the breakup

Do guys hurt after a break up? What do guys think after a break up? These are vital questions to ask when people are hurting after a break up. Now that you know it’s possible for guys to feel pain after a breakup, knowing the signs he is hurting will help you see if he wants you back or not. Learn more about the signs he is hurt after the breakup in the following paragraphs:

1. He talks to you often

One of the telltale signs he is hurt after the breakup is if he can’t stop talking to you. Indeed, he knows you guys have broken up, but letting go is hard for him. He will text you, call to ask about your work and friends, or look for an excuse to hear your voice. These signs mean he cannot accept your separation. 

2. He says he misses you

Another sign he is hurt after a breakup is when he tells you he misses you. The statement, “I miss you.” is one of the hardest things to say for many men after a breakup. Therefore, if your ex says it, know that it took him a lot of thought to say it confidently.

Related Reading: What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He Misses You

3. He is in denial of the breakup

The shock of breaking up with someone you thought you would end up with can be hard on some men. After telling him that you can’t be his woman, he will believe you will have a change of mind, rather than seeking how to stop hurting after a break up. He will still act like your man and relate with you like everything is fine.

4. He enters a new relationship 

What do guys think after a break up? Even though men and women process breakups differently, there is always a timeline before anyone moves on. However, if your ex starts showing off another woman barely a week after breaking up, it shows he is hurting after the break up. 

The new woman is a coping mechanism and distraction from the pain after breaking up. Sooner or later, reality will dawn on him.

Related Reading: Five Steps To Take Before Starting A New Relationship

5. He cuts you off

Some guys’ behavior after a breakup is geared towards moving close to their partner, but others take a different approach. For example, your ex can cut all means of communicating with you. This action may show he is hurting and just looking for ways to cope better with your absence.

6. You don’t hear from him

Do guys hurt after a breakup? Yes. They do. A guy hurting after a breakup is like a wounded animal. Therefore, don’t be surprised if you, your friends, or his friends can’t get through to him after the separation. 

It means he is hurting badly somewhere. He will prefer to find a safe place with little or no disturbance to cope with the pain after a breakup and lick his wound.

7. He blocks you from his digital life

One of the signs you hurt him after the breakup is if he blocks you on his social media accounts. Be it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or Tiktok, cutting the access to him on these platforms shows how much pain he is experiencing. It may sound childish to you, but it’s his way of venting.

8. He changes his location

You and your ex were probably living within the same vicinity. If he suddenly packs out of the location to another place after the breakup, understand that he is hurting. It may be farfetched, but he feels seeing your light adds to the pain after the breakup.

10. He bumps into you and says it’s a coincidence

After a breakup, you hardly expect to see your ex as you used to. However, if you and your ex have bumped into each other three to four times over the past few days, and he says it’s a coincidence, that may mean he is hurting and wants you back. These kinds of unplanned meetups are how some guys act when they are hurt.

11. He stalks you

Guys who find it hard to move on and are hurting after a breakup do crazy things, including stalking. If your ex keeps a tab on you, follows you around secretly, or harasses you on the road, that’s a sign of hurt. It is essential to report this to appropriate authorities for safety.

12. He sabotages you

Another extreme sign that he is hurting after the breakup is sabotaging your life, career, or progress. For instance, when a guy sees a great opportunity for you but blocks it, he sabotages you. 

Other signs of sabotaging include passing negative comments on your social media platforms, giving hurtful reviews on your business page, or physically harassing you. Understand that these actions require the help of law enforcement agencies, so don’t waste time reporting him. 

13. He badmouths you

Friends who knew you and your ex-partner as lovers might ask questions when they notice the gap or tension. 

However, a hurting guy might go a step further by badmouthing you and painting you in all manners of despicable descriptions instead of getting busy with how to stop hurting after a breakup. Learn how to deal with a toxic ex in this book.

14. He meets up with other girls and makes you see it

What do guys think after a breakup? Well, one of them is making you jealous. While many guys find it easy to move on after a breakup, others don’t. One of the signs of hurting after the breakup is if he frequently has women around him and rubs it in your face. 

Jumping from one lady to another without any sign of commitment shows how much your ex is in pain. If he makes you see these actions, rest assured he wants to make you green with envy and probably make you change your mind.

15. He deletes the great moments you have together

To know how guys act when they are hurt, check your memories together are still cherished. One sign that hurting after the breakup is erasing your couple’s footprint together. These actions may include deleting your pictures together on Facebook or deleting your account from his Netflix account. We see these things play out in real life when celebrities’ couples break up.

16. He starts drinking

Check his drinking habit, even if he acts like he doesn’t care about a breakup. A guy who suddenly takes refuge in alcohol and starts partying hard after a separation is hurting. Drinking is a coping mechanism during the different stages of a breakup for a guy.

17. He refuses to express his feelings

There are different stages of a breakup for a guy. One of the stages involves expressing his feelings about the breakup decision. However, some guys who experience pain after a breakup usually keep mute. You can’t tell whether they accept the breakup, but one thing is sure – they are grieving.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Someone Is Hiding Their Feelings for You

18. He talks about you to your friends 

One way to know how guys act after a breakup is to contact your mutual friends. If your ex can’t stop talking about you to the friends you have in common, it’s a sign that he misses you and wants you back. It may also be his way of letting others know he hurts and makes you change your mind.

19. He relapses into his old habits

Couples make certain sacrifices when they are dating. For instance, a guy may stop drinking and smoking when he meets a new lady. After a breakup, he may decide to take on these habits since there is no one to caution him.

19. He avoids seeing you

Unplanned meetups happen all the time between ex-partners. One of the signs he is hurt after the breakup is avoiding seeing you eye-to-eye at all cost. He will dodge you at parties and avoid being in the same room.

20. He asks for a second chance

One of the obvious signs a guy is hurting after a breakup is if he seeks a second chance. He will take all the blame for whatever caused the breakup and make many promises. This must have happened after thinking and hurting for a long time.

Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Him a Second Chance

21. He doesn’t get into another relationship for years

If he has trouble asking a lady out or rebounding with other women, your ex may still be hurting after a breakup. That shows he finds it hard to trust or believe in the success of another relationship.

What to do if he’s hurting after the breakup

It’s vital to know how to stop hurting after a breakup. Even though the pain after breaking up can be unbearable, you need to be reasonable. Otherwise, it will affect important aspects of your life. Now that you can tell he is hurting after the breakup, you need to decide what to do. 

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

• Do I still love him?
• Is he sorry for what he did? 
• Can I forgive him?
• Can we get back together?

Just because you are both are hurting doesn’t mean you should get back together immediately. Review the reasons for breaking up first, and give each other time and space. As time goes on, you will have clear answers to your questions.

How long does a man take to get over a breakup

The time it takes a man to get over a breakup is not that straightforward. It generally depends on the man’s personality, his partner, and the reason for breaking up. Generally,  it takes a long time to get over a partner you have been dating for years. 

Similarly, some men find it challenging to let go of women who have significantly impacted their lives. However, a breakup after dating for a few months hardly affects the partners. Nonetheless, as you get busy or engaged with one activity, you move on from the breakup with your ex.

Conclusion

Having highlighted the signs he is hurting after the breakup, we hope you can make informed decisions for yourself. Importantly, you should seek the help or advice of a relationship expert who might help you through complicated love situations. Notably, they can help you align your decision with your purpose in life.