5 Powerful Signs Your Partner Is Possessive in the Relationship

Possessiveness can cause negative effects in a relationship. It’s unhealthy, and you need to talk it out with a partner before it gets worse.

Experts suggest considering a partner possessive in a relationship as a red flag. It’s not love when your partner is too controlling regardless if you’re married or not. It may start slow, but the behavior may already be a precursor to violence.

So, what do you do when you see signs of possessiveness? Take a step back and assess everything. 

Be aware of how to determine possessiveness in relationships. But should you leave? It is better to discuss things first and decide what to do after you have said your piece.

This article will talk about the signs of possessiveness and what does being possessive mean. It will try to answer questions such as how to stop being jealous and possessive, what does it mean to be possessive in a relationship, and what causes possessiveness in a relationship.

Possessiveness may convince you to walk out the door at once. Before you do, let’s first try to understand possessive relationship signs.

Related Reading: 10 Signs of a Possessive Husband

What is possessive love?

If there are obvious signs of a possessive boyfriend or partner, you must ask yourself – is this love? Understand that no one can claim possession of a person regardless if they are their spouse, friend, or partner. 

However, someone can always try, especially when you dismiss a possessive personality as something usual and can be easily resolved. 

Is it? 

For one, this possessive person only cares about how you can make them happy and not the other way around. The possessiveness psychology always aims to own and control something. 

But this time, it is worse because they want to control someone. Your overly possessive partner wants to control you.

Will you allow it? Love is a give-and-take process, but this will never happen when you are in a possessive relationship. 

You must see the fine line that differentiates a possessive and protective partner. It’s not enough to look for answers to how to stop being possessive in a relationship. You must learn to put your foot down and say enough is enough. 

The possessive behavior may be cute at first, especially when you are only beginning to date. It may even feel as if you are getting so much love. 

But the fact is that you are not. A partner possessive in a relationship is not cute. Being possessive in a relationship does not mean letting your partner know they are truly loved. 

When you don’t find help on what is possessiveness in love and leave the problems as they are, you are setting yourself up to be emotionally and physically abused. You are giving your possessive partner reasons to take advantage of your foolishness. 

The problem will not be solved when you keep on ignoring it. The predicament may leave you with negative feelings of anger, anxiety, and unhappiness.

It’s time to recognize the signs and do something about them before it’s too late.

15 telltale signs that you have a possessive partner

Possessiveness is a sign of insecurity and fear. A person being possessive in a relationship may be acting that way to relieve themselves of their own overwhelming problems and emotions. 

Here are the signs of possessiveness in a relationship:

1. Your partner often threatens to commit suicide

This is a big red flag of being possessive in a relationship. Your partner is playing the reverse psychology card and using guilt on you.

It often happens when there is trouble in the relationship. The overly possessive partner will try everything to make you look like a bad person if you leave them.

Your partner may tell you things like they are going to kill or hurt themselves or kill someone you love. This is not something you can ignore.

It doesn’t mean that you have to keep up with the possessive personality of your partner. But you have to seek help at once.

This is beyond possessiveness. This is not among the common signs of a possessive partner. The threat, especially when they do it repeatedly, is a sign of a mental health problem.

Help the person by convincing them to seek medical help. They need to go to a psychologist before they can cause harm to themselves and other people.

Related Reading: How to Cope With Your Mental Health Issues in a Relationship

2. Your partner blackmails you

It’s usual for romantic partners to share intimate details or personal secrets, even things that are too shameful. This is because you trust each other enough to lay everything out on the table, including your flaws. 

It becomes a problem when you find out your partner has possessive behavior. This possessiveness causes them to use your secrets against you.

They can accuse you of cheating out of the blue because you told them you had done it before. They can make you feel small in a heated argument for the wrongdoings you’ve done in the past that you have confided in them.

This is a clear sign your partner is a possessive person. Do not wait until they let all your dirty secrets out in the open before you call them out. 

Do not dismiss such possessiveness. Seek help, or if they don’t want to undergo possessiveness psychology, leave at once while you still can.

Related Reading: 10 Ways to Handle Emotional Blackmail in a Relationship

Check out thesis video to learn how to deal with blackmailing in the relationship

3. Your partner makes you feel intimidated

Always remember the person that you were before entering a relationship. Never allow that person to change or be silenced by a possessive partner. 

One of the common signs of possessiveness is a partner who enjoys intimidating the person they are with. They will use blackmail, pity, and guilt to stop you from initiating a plan or following what you want.

They will try making you feel small at all times so that you would be dependent on them. They will often manipulate things for their benefit but never for your own.

4. A partner who always wants you by their side

When was the last time you visited your family or spent time with friends without a partner tagging along? When was the last time your partner allowed you to have “me time” and let you enjoy it without asking questions?

If you can no longer remember, or worse, you haven’t done any of these since you’ve been with your partner, you no longer need to ask. You are in a possessive relationship. If you allow this to continue, you will gradually lose the other people who care about you, most of whom were there even before you met your partner.

Related Reading: Identifying and Fulfilling the Needs of Attention Seeker Partner

5. A partner who will do the littlest of things to hurt you

It doesn’t have to be physical pain. A possessive partner will often try to get back at you where they know it will hurt you the most. 

It doesn’t matter what causes possessiveness in a relationship. Your partner will only be focused on how to hurt your feelings. They can do something like leave the house without saying a word, suddenly stop being affectionate, and so on.

The weird thing about this possessiveness is that they will be back to normal one day and beg you to make up, say sorry, or shower you with affection. This is unhealthy. You never know what they could do next.

Related Reading: How to Get Over Hurt Feelings in a Relationship: 10 Ways

6. A partner who is too controlling

An overly possessive partner will dictate what you can and cannot do. They would want your passwords, keys, and access to all your possessions and information.

Related Reading: 25 Signs You’re in a Controlling Relationship

7. They will track you without your permission

A possessive partner will secretly try to install an app on your phone to track wherever you go. They will track all your activities because they want to know where you are all the time. 

It doesn’t matter when you tell them where you would go. They will still track you down like a stalker to know your location.

8. They keep information they wouldn’t want you to know

Someone with possessive behavior will keep the information a secret from their partner no matter how important they are. If your partner feels that the information would make you decide to spend the weekend with an ailing friend or a relative who got into an accident, they will keep it from you.

If you allow this to happen, the time will come when you will become detached from your other circles. By then, your possessive partner will achieve their goal of making you feel like they are the only person who cares about you.

Related Reading: 15 Signs Of Dishonesty In A Relationship

9. They get easily irritated

One of the signs of possessiveness is when your partner has anger management issues. They are short-tempered and controlling. Little misunderstandings always lead to big fights and arguments.

Related Reading: How to Deal With an Angry Partner: 10 strategies

10. They don’t respect your personal space

A possessive partner will always invade your privacy even when you don’t allow them. They would want to know everything and gain access to all your information. If this overly possessive person doesn’t respect your personal space, they won’t respect anything you ask them of.

Related Reading:10 Personal Boundaries You Need in Your Relationship

11. A possessive partner gets in trouble with everyone in your circle

If your family, friends, close co-workers, or bosses do not like your partner, you have to think hard about who is at fault. Do not look at it as if everyone is ganging on your partner.

They may have done something to turn off these people, some of whom you’ve known longer than your possessive partner. You have to get to the bottom of things, understand why your partner hates everyone you are close to, and take sides. Make sure that you choose the right one.

12. They get angry when you don’t answer their calls, or you reply to their messages late

If this is how they act all the time when you miss their phone call because you were in a meeting, presenting to a class, or having a fun bonding session with a friend, it’s a clear indication that your partner is jealous. This is another red alert that could lead to possessiveness if you allow it to.

13. You are always wrong

Your possessive partner will always put the blame on you. They will never hear your explanations, even if it’s obvious they were at fault. You’d be accused of many things, from being a cheater or liar to trying to hurt them. 

You need to resolve this issue before getting to the point where you no longer know who you are. If you are starting to doubt yourself, stop the thought, and leave your possessive partner.

Related Reading: 10 Ways Blame-shifting in Relationship Harms It

14. He gets mad when you use your phone when they are around

It doesn’t matter if the call is an emergency or if it is from a family member you miss dearly. Your possessive partner will get angry when you use the phone to talk or chat with other people when you are with them.

15. They dictate to you what to wear

Even when they know your taste in clothes before they came into your life, a possessive boyfriend will try to change how you dress. And it won’t stop there. They will dictate how they want you to act when you are with others, how to talk, and everything else.

How to fix possessiveness in a relationship

Talk. This is the best thing to do to understand what is going through the mind of your possessive partner. 

You have to make them understand that this is not what you wanted and you are not happy with the signs of possessiveness they are constantly showing. 

Takeaways about possessive relationship signs

Staying in a relationship with a possessive person who is unwilling to change will make your life miserable. The signs of possessiveness warn you of what you ought to look out for. 

Do something when you see the signs. Never allow anyone to control your life and how you should live it.

If your partner loves you, they will understand when you tell them you are uncomfortable with their possessiveness. If they are open to change, grab the chance and seek counseling. This is the only way to know whether or not this relationship is worth giving a try.