Breakups are never easy, but they can be a little bearable when consensual. However, getting dumped by someone you love is a different ball game, especially when it comes out of nowhere. Getting dumped is a painful ordeal and finding closure to allow you to move on is challenging but not impossible.
Getting dumped out of the blue can affect your mental health, which isn’t surprising, but it doesn’t have to affect your life forever. However, you can overcome getting dumped if you know the proper steps.
So keep reading to know how to get over being dumped
How do I overcome being dumped?
There is no one size fits all and no one way to overcome being dumped. But certain acts can put you on the right path and help you move on. Here are a few tips on how to get over being dumped
1. Get closure
Are you curious as to how to handle being dumped? Then get closure. It can be challenging to get over a relationship if you don’t know why it ended in the first place.
Mulling over possible reasons in your head and thinking of what you could have done differently is not healthy and will make it hard to move on. Note that the reason for the breakup doesn’t have to be logical, nor do you have to understand or agree with it; you have to know it.
Also, don’t force this conversation on your ex. If you notice your ex is getting too emotional or is reluctant to talk, back away for the time being. Give them space and approach your ex later.
2. Put on a brave face
A study published in the journal of neuroscience stated that tricking your brain into thinking you are over a breakup is the key to getting over it and can lessen the pain.
Resist the urge to lie in bed for days, eat junk food, and cry. Putting on a brave face helps to get over a breakup. This is based on the whole premise of ‘faking it till you make it.’ If you can pretend that everything is alright, eventually, your mind starts to believe it.
It can seem like moving on and healing from heartbreak will take an eternity. So it’s easy to wonder how long the pain will last and how to get over being dumped?
People heal from heartbreaks at different paces, and you shouldn’t compare your progress with that of another. Most importantly, don’t give yourself a deadline. The type of relationship and its ending will also determine how long it will take you to get over it.
But at the end of the day, your heart will heal in time. Research and polls have been conducted to determine how long it takes to get over a relationship. Let’s look at what these studies have revealed.
A poll conducted by OnePoll, a market research company, stated that, on average, a person needs about 6 months to get over a serious relationship, and it might take a year if the parties were previously married.
After a breakup, people take an average of 4 days to wallow in pain. Also, a study conducted by Yelp Eat24 stated that Americans have an average of two tearful conversations and 4 instances of crying after a breakup.
A study shows that people start healing by the tenth week after a breakup. Another study that surveyed college students revealed that they started healing and reported increased positive emotions on average of 11 weeks after the breakup.
However, the rate at which you heal and get over relationships depends on several factors, such as:
– Your commitment to moving on
– What caused the breakup; was it because of infidelity, or were you being dumped for someone else?
– The quality of the relationship; was the relationship healthy, or were there problems?
How to feel better after being dumped is by visiting an anger room.
Was your breakup messy, and do you have a lot of anger you want to let out? If you do, then an anger room is perfect for you. Then, you can scream and smash objects to your heart’s content.
This is a form of therapy, and it gives you a chance to vent, de-stress and let out your anger. Anger should be redirected or expressed because unexpressed anger can lead to pathological expressions of anger.
Unexpressed anger can affect your mental health and lead to unhappiness and passive-aggressive behaviors. Expressing your rage lets you calm down on the inside and helps you move on instead of fixating on the anger.
To learn how you can learn to express your anger healthily:
3. Don’t stay friends with your ex
You can’t automatically turn off your feelings; it doesn’t work that way. Staying friends with your ex will make it virtually impossible to move on. On the other hand, being friends makes it easy to become comfortable with that person again, leading to romantic feelings.
After ending a relationship, you need time to discern what led to the breakup and see a clearer picture. It would be best if you also had time to deal with the heartbreak of it and recuperate. It is hard to do this with your ex still in your life. There is no upside to remaining friends, and other reasons why you shouldn’t include
It can lead to an off-again-on-again relationship
It will be painful being just friends, especially if your partner has moved on
Talking to friends and loved ones can help you deal with a breakup. You don’t have to navigate this difficult phase of your life alone; lean on your friends. Your friends can give you a new perspective on what you’re dealing with and help you feel less alone.
It can be challenging to talk about your feelings with other people, but it is easy to be open with loved ones. You don’t have to feel ashamed for feeling the way you do, and you know they won’t use it against you.
Loved ones are best positioned to tell you things you didn’t know and help you paint a clearer picture. So, do you want to know how to get over being dumped? Then, start by talking to your friends.
They can also provide emotional support and help distract you from the pain.
5. Don’t blame yourself
After a breakup, your next step might be to regret, analyze your actions, and wish you could have done things differently. Unfortunately, this isn’t productive and will prevent you from moving on. To avoid getting depressed after being dumped, you must forgive yourself.
You can’t change the past, and playing out old scenarios in your mind won’t change anything.
After a breakup, you will most likely seclude yourself from the outside world, remain on your bed, and wouldn’t feel like showering or even eating. Resist the urge to do this and ensure you take care of yourself. This is an important way of dealing with a breakup.
Caring for yourself, exercising, and healthy eating will give you energy and allow you to heal.
It can be easier confiding in a stranger than in loved ones. You only have to see them for a limited time, and you know they won’t judge you. Professionals are trained to be neutral and have an unemotional and objective response.
Therapists are often interested in seeing the bigger picture. The little parts that led up to the breakup. Seeking professional help can help you deal with heartbreak.
You can’t move on if you still resent your ex. Forgiveness helps you and not your ex.
Forgiving your ex will enable you to break the cycle of pain and let go of any baggage so that you can heal and move on. Now forgiving someone that hurt you is never easy but is necessary if you want to build a new life.
Forgiving will take time and can’t be achieved in one day, but remember to celebrate the small victories. Ways to forgive your ex includes
Taking responsibility for your part in the breakup
You can only forgive your ex if you forgive yourself first
While you shouldn’t wallow in your pain forever, you can indulge in things that make you feel better. So let yourself go for a short while. Cry as much as you want, and bury your face in ice cream, chocolate, or anything that works for you.
However, only do this for a short while, which will help you feel better.
10. Learn from your breakup
Being dumped is not something you want to experience, but there are lessons to be learned when you do.
Your experience will guide you in your next relationship. First, reflect on what went wrong and the actions that led to the breakup. This includes your ex’s actions to determine the traits to avoid in the next partner.
11. Don’t scheme to get back at your ex
You can’t move on and deal with heartbreak if you are planning for revenge. So don’t focus on your partner but on yourself.
The goal is to forgive, move on, and not get stuck in the past.
Dealing with being dumped unexpectedly can lead to various emotions and cringe-worthy actions. Such as stalking and begging them to take you back, among other things. What to do when you get dumped includes
– Throw away or return their stuff
– Cry to your heart’s content
– Seek professional help
– Keep busy to prevent your mind from wandering and thinking about your ex
However, it would help if you didn’t do the following
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.