8 Ways to Build Self-Confidence After a Bad Breakup

One of the worst things to experience in life is to build self-confidence and repair yourself after a bad break-up. When you are in love everything seems perfect but once it ends the world seems cold.

It’s hard, right?

Moving on from a bad break-up.

You were completely in love and thought you would be together for the rest of your life. Everything was perfect and then out of nowhere, the relationship turned south. Your partner ends it and you’re still in love not ready to let go.

Being in love with someone can take a toll on your mental health and slowly become an addiction. Which can break you down into a woman you are no more.

Before going into discussing how to heal. Let’s discuss what you shouldn’t do after a bad breakup.

• Stopping yourself from grieving: 

Yes, it is perfectly okay for you to miss the relationship and what it once was. Take the time you need to cry it all out.

• Staying in the grieving process for long: 

Many people make the mistake of staying in the grieving stage for too long. To the point it keeps them from living life and enjoying it. Yes you need this moment to experience the broken heart but don’t let it destroy you as a person.

WARNING

No matter what your inner self is telling you. DO NOT stoop so low into doing these  THREE THINGS!

1.Stalking on Social Media: This is a BIG NO. If you must go looking to see what your ex is doing, then deactivate your social media accounts. It’s bringing you more pain.

2.Beg for him to come back: No. This will make you seem desperate. If he doesn’t want to be with you then move on.

3.Jumping into another relationship too fast. Moving into another relationship as soon as you end the other one will in no way build your self confidence . It’s best to take time from it all and give your heart a chance to heal.

Now that we got that out the way. Let’s get back to healing your heart. Many women experience the loss of confidence after a break-up. But why do we lose ourselves while in a relationship?

• Rejection often causes you to wonder, “What may be wrong with you?” You may feel he left you because you are not good enough and he deserves better.
• Part of your emotional support system went away. You’re emotionally connected with him and losing this connection may feel like the end of the world.
• Lost of identity: In a weird way while in a relationship your partner becomes you as a person. A lot of your hobbies and interests are tied into him without you realizing it until the relationship is over.

How To Heal After a Bad Breakup: 8 Ways To Get Your Confidence Back

1. Start a Emotional Healing Journey

Starting an emotional healing journey for recovering from a breakup is the best way to help you grow as a person and as a woman.

According to Maggie Martinez, LCSW:

Breakups often shake our identity. Use this time to reconnect with your values, passions, and strengths.

You now know what you want and don’t want in a relationship. It also helps you build self-confidence and gives you a chance to focus all of your energy on YOU.

Journal

Journaling is a good way to build self confidence and get everything off your chest without negative thoughts and feelings you have on the relationship. Clearly, holding it in is affecting your mental health and lowering your self-esteem.

Take 15 minutes out of your day to connect to your values, improve your understanding of self, and kick start personal growth in order to find your self worth and regain self confidence.

Write the good, the bad, and the ugly of the relationship. Start from the beginning to the end.

Ask yourself how to love yourself and be confident. Discuss where you think the relationship might have turned wrong. Also, discuss what you could’ve done differently. This will be a good time for you to build self-confidence and reflect on where you went wrong.

• Where are you too clingy?
• Did you handle heated discussions wrong?
• Do you have trust issues?
• Did you force your beliefs onto him?

Reflecting on topics like how to love yourself after a breakup can help you see where your issues may be. Then you may fix your mistakes and find motivation after break up before going into another relationship.

2. Meditation and Yoga

Say this with me- Meditation is the antidote to stress, depression, pain, and low self esteem after break up. Meditating helps relax your state of mind and provide a calmness to your heart. Try doing this every day for 5 minutes to build self-confidence and add on once you can practice longer.

A short guide on meditating

• Note: You do not have to sit criss-cross applesauce with your eyes closed to meditate. 
• Start off in a quiet place. Where you will have alone time for at least five minutes.
• Start by breathing deeply in and blow it out as hard as you can
• Keep doing this for five breaths
• Acknowledge your thoughts and gently push them away to focus on your breathing again.
• Repeat

Yoga

Yoga is another form of meditation. In the western world, we forget this.

The deep breathing techniques will help you relax your body. Releasing the stress, tension, and sadness you may still have from the break-up.

Big benefit: It’s exercise!!

3. Become a Clean Freak

Turn on the music as loud as you can! Now, get in the habit of decluttering your home and making it spotless. Often couples, especially women, like to keep items to remind them of certain memories. Now, keeping anything from your ex is a bad idea and might lower your self esteem after break up. Especially if that break-up was a horrible experience.

It may also be a good idea to put all your ex stuff in a box, so he can come to get it. Or you can burn it all. ( No, please don’t. I’m joking)

Once you’re done with your deep-cleaning, you can relax and sip on a glass of wine. The winding down moment will be worth it and help rebuild confidence after the big clean up of your ex.

4. Have Fun and Enjoy Life

Please don’t waste your beautiful life away crying over a guy who did not understand your worth. Yes, it’s ok to grieve the relationship. Don’t let it take over your life.

Maggie Martinez Reid highlights that:

Surround yourself with people who remind you of your value. Healthy support systems can help reflect the strength you may not see in yourself yet.

One of the ways of building self-confidence is spending time with those who truly matter and are there for you. Let them in on your process of healing from your broken heart. They are here to listen and to help you.

Life is all about living and enjoying it. Remember you only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest.

• Be open-minded in having fun and trying different hobbies.
• You don’t have to spend money to have fun. Get creative and have fun at home. Play card games, board games, dance, or exercise.
• Listen to  music that makes you feel good. 
• Look for ways of finding confidence through self help books
• Stop being a shrimp, go out with your friends and enjoy yourself.

Do what you want to do and whatever makes you smile.

Ask yourself, “What in life makes you happy and will quickly get you out of the slumps?”

5. Fall in Love With You

Practice self-care and grow to love yourself. Before trying to enter a new relationship, take the time to learn what you like about you.

• What are the sources of motivation after break up?
• What makes you different from others?
• What about your appearance do you love the most?
• What have you accomplished in life?
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

How to build self-confidence?

Well, honestly answer these questions and don’t be ashamed of what you put. Knowing these simple questions about yourself will help you grow into a different person from the one you were in the relationship.

6. Write Yourself a Love Letter

You spent 8 months or 10 years loving someone else. When did you stop to take the time to remind you to love you? I’m waiting for your answer.

You don’t know. Well, pull out the pen and paper you have a task to do now, darling.

Take 15 minutes out of your day. Start with Dear (NAME),

Give yourself 5 things you love about your appearance, personality, and heart.

Then start with any advice you would like to give to yourself. 

• What would I tell my younger self?
• What is something I love to do that I quit doing for someone else?
• How can I forgive myself for being so harsh to myself?
• How to be strong after a break up?

Then go into your accomplishments. What have you accomplished within the last year? Didn’t accomplish anything then add it to your list. Write any goals you want to accomplish within the next year.

Writing a love letter can help you remember why you matter in this world and how you can rebuild yourself to grow.

7. Conquer Your Fears

Whatever silly fear you have, try to see if you can conquer it. This will help you overcome break up, build self confidence and show how strong you are as a woman and grow to love who you are.

Conquering your fears is easier said than done. Taking these simple steps will help you overcome your fears and continue to prove that you are stronger than what you think.

8. Find a Support System

A “break-up” support system can help you forget the pain that you are feeling and remember that there is more to life than being in love.

Maggie Martinez adds that:

Set small, achievable goals that reconnect you to your independence. Each step forward rebuilds trust in yourself.

• Friends: Having a girl time with your group of friends is therapeutic and important during this time.
• Family: Your mom and grandmother have experienced their first heartbreaks. They are the queens of pulling yourself together and keep it pushing. They’ll give you the best advice to build self-confidence when dealing with a broken heart.
• Online support: With how today the world is connected to the internet. There is plenty of online support to help you.

The Point Is

DO NOT WASTE LIFE. It’s a blessing to be here, and often people take it for granted. Yes, life will feel terrible and it will be hard to overcome a bad break up. Know when it is time to move on.

Jen Oliver beautifully highlights how you can trace the road of self love if we disconnect from the world and tap into our heart and core to ignite a deeper connection to self. Check it out:

Loving yourself is the best way to build self confidence and heal.

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Carlisa Galbreath

Carlisa is a freelance writer for hire and blogger. She enjoys writing on lifestyle topics such as parenting, relationships, health and wellness. On her blog, you can find her empowering women through creating a healthy lifestyle. When she isn't writing you can find her doing yoga in her backyard.

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