So many times, when one relationship ends, people want to jump into another one immediately… And then the pattern continues.
So how long to wait between relationships or how much time should one take at the end of a love relationship before they get into a new one?
For the past 30 years, the number one best-selling author, counselor, master Life Coach, and minister David Essel have been helping individuals to decide what is the appropriate amount of time for them to be single before they go back into the world of love.
Below, David shares his insight in regards to taking time off in between love relationships and how soon is too soon to start dating after a break-up.
Fear of being alone
“Most of us are afraid of being alone. I know, but not you, right?
I’m laughing as I write this because I hear this every day in my counseling and life coaching practice, where people are saying they’re not looking for a new relationship because they’re afraid of being alone, they just want to be in love.
But really, most of us are afraid of being alone.
Now we won’t admit that to ourselves, but anyone that goes from a crappy relationship and takes a short period of time off to get into another relationship has an absolute fear of being alone, regardless of what they say.
So how much time should you take off, after the ending of a relationship, before you go back into the world of dating?
The answer I’m going to give you is 100% factual, it’s the truth, but few of us want to hear it.
At the end of any long-term love relationship, meaning more than one year, we need to take a minimum of 365 days off from the world of dating and relationships.
That means no “friends with benefits” for 365 days, no “no strings attached relationships, “it means being totally single.
So if you are wondering how long to wait between relationships, well, you must wait for atleast a year and then ask yourself, ‘am I ready to date again. ‘ Use this time to understand how to get over a long relationship, and before you know, it would be time to get ready for love again.
In the book, we explain the most important reasons why you must take some time off before dating again.
Reasons to take a break
Number one. We need the time to let go of all resentment, anger, and rage at our former partner.
Number two. We need to go through the seasons, holidays, birthdays, etc. on our own, working on our own internal happiness versus worrying about dating and getting into a new love affair.
You see, and we state this quite boldly in the book, the only people that should be out dating right now are those who are incredibly happy being single and alone.
Now, these “secrets, “you may not like to hear, but they are simply the truth. If you want to change your future relationships, we need to change how we’ve handled our past ones. Slow down. Great opportunities to heal are in these messages that you’re reading right now.“
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.
(David Essel is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Fort Myers)