Before you say “I do,” it’s time to find out if you really are prepared for the big step. Many people are in love with the idea of tying the knot. But are they really prepared for ’til death do you part’? Here’s an interesting questionnaire for you. Find out if you are ready for the commitment by asking yourself these 5 marriage readiness questions.
1. What do you think marriage will add to your life?
This is an important question. The fact that you are considering to marry implies that you have a positive impression about it and are willing to commit to a relationship. But what more do you think marriage will add to your life? What does your life lack right now that marriage will add? Are you looking for a companion who will support you through life’s ups and downs? (that is a big motivation to marry) Think through all the pros that marriage will bring along – but also be aware of the cons. Like, for example, you will have many more obligations towards the family after marriage. Or you may experience loss of freedom as well. Will you be able to deal with these too? Think through well as marriage is a lifelong commitment.
2. Are you willing to make your partner and marriage a top priority?
Is finding the right partner the most important thing for you? And if you have already found your partner, are you willing to make them your priority? If yes, then you are most certainly ready. Making them priority implies means putting them first – it means never taking them for granted or treating them as a convenience. This is an important marriage readiness question and needs careful thought.
In addition to this, ask yourself if you have truly moved on from your past divorce or recent break up? Do you have commitments such as children from your past marriage, aging parents or the stress of new careers? Are you emotionally available and willing to put in your all in the marriage?
3. Are you willing to make adjustments?
Some say marriage and adjustments go hand in hand. Are you willing to be open-minded about making adjustments and compromises for your marriage? This does not necessarily mean you have to jeopardize your identity or compromise about who you are as a person. It means working together with your spouse as a team. Making adjustments is to be willing to do whatever may be in your best interest.
4. Have you accomplished your large goals?
Sure, love can conquer all and desires do not end after marriage. But if you have a long list of goals that you want to accomplish before the big day, then it’s important to acknowledge what they are. Examples could be buying a property, completing a study course, or spending a year abroad – whatever’s most important for you! Make sure to discuss it with your spouse so you can start (or delay) the marriage on the right note. Of course, couples can accomplish goals together as well but if this is your own independent list of to-do’s then take time to make sure now is the right time to be married.
5. Is it based on love or need?
The final step in analyzing if you are ready for marriage is by being absolutely brutal with yourself. This is the most difficult part and it’s important you be true here. A number of people get married for all the wrong reasons. Some do it out of security, impatience, family pressure and the like – but know that getting married for the right reason plays a vital role in its long-term success.
Do not get married just because your self-esteem is low or you fear being left alone later in life. Do not marry because you seek validation and self-worth from your better-half or cannot stand being single anymore. If you are facing these issues currently, then all of them can be addressed and worked upon before you can be ready for marriage.
Remember, a healthy relationship requires two healthy individuals to love each other and contribute to the marriage. They don’t depend on the other to validate them or give their life merit – such a relationship can never stand the test of time.
Being ready for marriage entails wanting to share your life with someone you love – choose wisely and after you’ve taken the plunge, make every effort to stay happily married!