For seriously committed couples in the early months of their relationship, it is hard to think of anything other than the big wedding, and pre-marital counseling is nowhere in the cards. Everyone’s looking forward to the big day and it’s easy to forget if you are really ready for marriage.
However, approaching pre-marriage counseling or premarital therapy when minor problems occur is a wise solution. In fact, couples who undergo marriage counseling before marriage tend to have higher levels of marital satisfaction and are less likely to divorce.
If you’re still wondering what is premarital counseling, and why premarital counseling is necessary, we present eight primary reasons endorsing the importance of premarital counseling. You will also find some key lessons to learn from premarital counseling.
1. It helps you to know your role
Yes, premarital counseling enables you to address and discuss unspoken role expectations in the marriage. Many couples do not consider their respective roles in the marriage that applies to career, finances, intimacy, and kids.
Your counselor or therapist can encourage you and your spouse to have an honest discussion about what you expect from each other. Also, you and your spouse are more likely to be receptive to the counselor’s suggestions as you both trust their opinion to be authentic and unbiased.
This process of counseling before marriage can lead to amazing surprises and a great marriage too.
2. It teaches you conflict resolution skills
Who doesn’t have tiffs and arguments in their relationship? At times couples do not know how to react in those heated moments where the other is yelling or abusing.
Conflicts cannot be eliminated from marriage, but premarital counseling can equip you with the necessary skills to solve them. It teaches you to resolve disputes productively and positively.
A counselor will guide you on how to communicate effectively in order to reach a solution. Although couples counseling before marriage is no magic, it can still do miracles to your relationship.
Each individual comes from different family backgrounds, with varying perspectives on life and ways to deal with situations. So, it is not a viable solution to blame your partners or expect them to change their behavior without knowing their background.
With premarital counseling, you can shift your focus from their irritating traits to the positive qualities of your partner and work on other areas together after the marriage. Understanding your partner’s personality will help you understand their actions and thought processes.
At the same time, you can also introspect yourself and see what areas you need to work on to develop a better understanding of your partner.
4. It helps in learning practical communication skills
The most important aspect of a healthy marriage is effective communication. Effective communication can help in reducing a lot of issues. In time, couples may feel that they have been taken for granted or may stop taking care of each other’s needs.
However, by communicating well, expressing your love, and being a good listener to each other, couples can totally eliminate such problems and improve their marriage significantly.
Money is the biggest concern between couples in a marriage. So, finance-related queries and managing a budget should occupy a portion of your list of pre-marriage counseling questions.
Premarital counseling encourages you to create a budget, learn about your spouse’s spending habits, and helps you avoid getting into money-related arguments.
Counselors can help you find out the credit of the person, loans, and any outstanding balances you may not know about. Financial problems can be worked upon by approaching a marital counselor who can guide you in handling bank accounts and other such responsibilities.
You can also opt for online premarital counseling if you are running short of time or some pre-marital courses in a face to face mode for addressing these issues.
6. It helps you to establish boundaries
One of the essential benefits of premarital counseling is that it helps you to develop healthy boundaries in your relationship.
Often we think that we know our beloved well, but we may not know about them altogether. We may not be fully aware of their past or what their expectations are from the marriage.
Premarital counseling sessions, or even online pre-marriage counseling, be sure to discuss things that do not occur in usual conversations. These sessions can help you in establishing healthy boundaries that encourage wholeness in life for you and your partner.
It means treating ourselves with respect and always being respectful towards your partner too. This eventually leads to happiness and enriches the marriage genuinely.
7. It helps you to understand their family backgrounds
We all come from different family origins. We learn so much from our parents and other influencers that it gets difficult to understand what each other’s experiences have been. So, we tend to over expect and face rejection when our expectations remain unfulfilled.
You enter into the marriage with different personalities and old ways of dealing with issues that later on gets hard to manage. Premarital counseling helps in this area.
Counselors provide guidance to each individual so they can develop a better understanding of each other’s behavior and how their family backgrounds have an influence on their behavior.
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8. It helps in making your marriage divorce-proof
It is proven that premarital counseling is effective in divorce prevention. Couples that opt for premarital education have reported higher levels of marital satisfaction. They also experience a 30 percent decline in the likelihood of divorce over five years.
Marriage therapy or premarital counseling helps you in identifying your fears, teaches you skills to communicate well, and empowers you with techniques that you can adopt to support each other.
Premarital counseling is highly recommended for couples – It helps you to accept each other’s differences and teaches you to appreciate your significant other with generosity.
Premarital counseling can prove to be a cornerstone of your relationship and help you save your marriage if future problems become too hard to handle.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.