21 First-Time Sex Tips You Must Know

Your first intimate experience can feel exciting, confusing, and a little overwhelming all at once… and that’s completely okay! 

You might be wondering, “Will it feel natural?” or “What if I’m nervous?”—and those questions are part of the journey. 

With so many emotions flowing, it helps to move gently, breathe deeply, and stay connected to yourself and your partner. These moments don’t need to look perfect; they just need to feel honest and comfortable.

When you approach things with patience, warmth, and a little curiosity, first-time sex tips simply become guidance that supports a more relaxed, meaningful beginning.

What happens to the body during sex?

During sex, your body goes through a series of natural physical responses—your heart beats faster, breathing deepens, blood flow increases to your genitals, and your muscles may tense or relax depending on arousal. 

Hormones like dopamine and oxytocin also rise, creating feelings of pleasure, closeness, and relaxation. These changes happen gradually and differ from person to person, especially during first time sex.

21 first-time sex tips you must know

Feeling unsure about sex at the first time is completely normal—your feelings, questions, and nerves all matter. With the right mindset, clear communication, and gentle pacing, your first intimate experience can feel safer, calmer, and more connected.

1. Be safe

So, you’re about to have sex for the first time – what do you need to know? Safety might not be the advice you’re after when you’re thinking about having sex for the first time with your partner.

• Do: Discuss using protection. Be mindful of sexually transmitted diseases. Talk about it with your partner and clear out any past sexually transmitted disease history.  
• Don’t: Don’t ignore conversations about safety or assume everything is fine without discussing protection and STI history.

2. Use protection

You’re the one who is responsible for her own life. So, use condoms, and don’t worry about being a buzz-kill. There’s an even greater killjoy, and that’s finding out that you unexpectedly became a first-time mom after having sex for the first time.

Also, make it a test for how much your partner is worthy of you – if he makes a fuss over a condom, you should think about whether he’s the right one to lose your virginity in the first place.

• • Do: Use a condom every time to protect your health and well-being.

• Don’t: Don’t continue with a partner who makes a fuss about using protection.

3. Prepare

You are already preparing by reading these first-time sex tips for women. However, as we keep saying, although sex is a spontaneous display of affection, when having sex for the first time, people have been looking for advice forever. 

• Do: You can speak to someone you trust to be able to ask all the relevant questions. Speak to your partner about your fears and increase your intimacy.
• Don’t: Don’t hesitate to dig deeper and read some additional tips for first-time sex. 

4. Get a cozy place

One of the most important first-time sex tips includes the decision of the venue, apart from preparing and learning for your first experience. 

The most critical factors in having a beautiful sexual experience are you, your partner, and your shared love. However, having a beautiful space for it won’t hurt either.

• Do: Choose a calm, comfortable space where you both feel safe and relaxed.
• Don’t: Don’t rush into intimacy in a place that feels uncomfortable, distracting, or pressured.

5. Be comfortable

Feeling at ease—physically and emotionally—can make your first intimate experience far more calming and meaningful. Comfort helps you stay present, communicate better, and enjoy the moment without pressure or fear.

• Do: Take your time, adjust your pace, and speak up if something feels uncomfortable.

• Don’t: Don’t force yourself into anything your body or mind isn’t ready for.

6. Don’t set wrong expectations

Your first intimate experience doesn’t need to look perfect, magical, or straight out of a movie. Placing pressure on yourself or your partner can create unnecessary stress. Let the moment be natural, imperfect, and honest—it’s the connection that matters, not the performance.

• Do: Keep an open mind and allow the experience to unfold gently and realistically.
• Don’t: Don’t expect everything to go flawlessly or compare your experience to stories, films, or others’ expectations.

7. Keep it simple

Your first intimate moment doesn’t need complicated moves or pressure to impress. Simplicity allows you to focus on connection, comfort, and understanding each other’s pace, making the experience feel more natural and less overwhelming.

• Do: Stick to gentle, easy steps that help you stay relaxed and present.
• Don’t: Don’t overwhelm yourself with advanced techniques or unrealistic ideas you’re not ready for.

8. Don’t moan if you don’t want to

Some people moan, while some don’t. Remember, you don’t have to do it just because you have seen it in porn or think it’s necessary for a good experience. 

Your first-time sex will not feel as good as you think if you focus on the wrong things, enjoy what feels good to your body, and react to that. 

• Do: Listen to your body and express yourself in whatever way feels genuine and comfortable.
• Don’t: Don’t force sounds or reactions just to match expectations or imitate what you’ve seen elsewhere.

9. Don’t miss out on foreplay

When having sex for the first time, they should ensure they talk to their partners about the foreplay.

Make sure to set aside some time only for foreplay to increase the sense of pleasure. Foreplay is the star of first-time sex advice for females. 

• Do: Communicate openly about what kind of foreplay feels good and take the time to enjoy it.
• Don’t: Don’t skip or rush foreplay—your comfort and arousal deserve attention.

10. Don’t be hesitant to say “no”

You might feel awkward, disinterested, or completely out of the zone at any point. You can always stop your partner and explain why you have changed your mind. Consent is the most important thing; you must use your right to say no if you want to. 

• Do: Speak up the moment something feels off or you want to pause—your comfort matters above everything.
• Don’t: Don’t continue just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings; your boundaries are non-negotiable.

11. Avoid anything extreme

It’s your first time, you can do whatever you want to, but it would be best if you kept it nice and sweet. Avoid extreme acts like BDSM, spanking, using your teeth, etc. 

Avoid anything that can be trouble for your inexperienced body. For the first time, try and do the basic things and take it forward in the future. 

• Do: Focus on soft, beginner-friendly intimacy that helps you feel safe, relaxed, and connected.
• Don’t: Don’t attempt intense or risky activities that your body and comfort level aren’t prepared for yet.

12. Don’t focus only on orgasm

One of the most sensible first-time sex tips is to forget about the result. Enjoy the experience and soak everything in. When you focus too much on the orgasm, you don’t enjoy the rest of the things. Please try to focus on every move; you might find it wonderfully surprising. 

• Do: Stay present and explore each moment gently, noticing what feels good without rushing toward a goal.
• Don’t: Don’t pressure yourself to achieve an orgasm—forcing it can take away from the overall experience.

13. About pain

The experience doesn’t need to be painful. Some may feel a lot of pain, and some don’t. It completely differs from person to person. Take things slowly at first and move forward as you feel comfortable. 

• Do: Move at a gentle pace and communicate if you need to pause or adjust.
• Don’t: Don’t push through discomfort or assume pain is something you must tolerate.

14. Make up your mind for the unexpected

Sometimes things don’t work out perfectly. You might end up not doing it or not doing it the right way. There are chances of pre-ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. 

However, do not get disheartened. Most of these things are normal and can be dealt with. You can talk about the problem to find the solution, and in cases where the problem seems inevitable, you should see a therapist.

• Do: Stay calm, communicate openly, and treat any unexpected moments as normal and solvable.
• Don’t: Don’t blame yourself or your partner—avoid shame or panic, as these issues are common and manageable.

15. Share your experience with your partner

After it is over, you should share honest opinions about the experience. Share what felt good during sex and what didn’t. Tell your partner what you liked and ask them if they liked something or want something. 

Communicating about it will make you more comfortable and help you the next time you decide to do the deed.

• Do: Talk openly about what felt good and what could be improved to build better understanding and closeness.
• Don’t: Don’t hide your feelings or avoid the conversation—silence can create confusion for both of you.

16. Talk in advance

Communication is helpful in all aspects of life, but it makes a difference when trying to understand how to have sex for the first time. 

Make sure that you communicate with your partner about all your fears, anxieties, and hopes regarding the sexual experience. It will help them cater to your needs and help the two of you get more comfortable. 

• Do: Express your feelings honestly so your partner knows how to support you and make the experience safer and calmer.
• Don’t: Don’t keep your worries to yourself—unspoken fears can create misunderstanding and unnecessary tension.

17. Establish mutual trust

Sex can seem exciting, making you rush into things prematurely. This can create problems and misunderstandings. Treat establishing mutual trust as a key first-time sex precaution. It can make the experience much more comfortable and pleasurable as your faith in your partner increases.

• Do: Take your time to build emotional trust so the experience feels safe and reassuring.
• Don’t: Don’t jump into intimacy without clarity or comfort—rushing can lead to confusion or regret.

18. Maintain proper hygiene

If you are trying to learn how to prepare for your first time, try to ensure that you maintain personal hygiene before sex.

Try to have a bath before the sexual act, as it can help you feel more confident and comfortable in your skin. Furthermore, staying clean after the act can help you eliminate the markers of physical strain like sweat.

• Do: Maintain cleanliness before and after intimacy to feel fresh, confident, and comfortable.
• Don’t: Don’t skip basic hygiene, as it can lead to discomfort and lower confidence.

19. Be informed about STIs

Ensure you are very well-versed in sexually transmitted infections (STIs). 

Ask your partner about their sexual history and whether they currently have any STIs. Make sure you know about the status of any infection they may have, and then take the necessary precautions. 

• Do: Have an honest discussion about STI status and use protection accordingly.
• Don’t: Don’t avoid asking important health questions—your safety depends on clarity and honesty.

20. Remember, practice makes perfect

If you are having sex for the first time, advice that can help you includes understanding that sex will get better for you with practice. 

Don’t get too disappointed if the experience underwhelms you. Remember that each time you have sex, the more you can understand your body and your sexual desires. Things will get better once you are equipped with this knowledge. 

• Do: Be patient with yourself and allow each experience to teach you what you enjoy.
• Don’t: Don’t expect perfection the first time—pressuring yourself will only take away from the moment.

Watch this TED Talk by Chen Lizra, branding expert, who shares how the art of seduction influences our everyday choices and relationships.

21. Take care of aftercare

Aftercare is the gentle period after intimacy where you and your partner reconnect, check in emotionally, and let your bodies relax. Simple things like cuddling or just talking can help you feel safe, grounded, and appreciated. It also deepens trust and makes the experience more comforting overall.

• Do: Spend a few minutes cuddling, talking, or offering comfort to each other to strengthen emotional closeness.
• Don’t: Don’t rush away immediately or ignore each other’s feelings—aftercare is just as important as the act itself.

FAQ

Understanding your first intimate experience can feel confusing, and it’s normal to have questions. These quick answers help clear common doubts so you can feel more prepared, informed, and confident moving forward.

• What if I don’t feel ready even after planning everything?

Listen to your body and pause. Readiness comes from comfort, not timelines. You can always wait.

• Is it normal for the first time to feel awkward or not perfect?

Yes. Most first experiences are imperfect. What matters is comfort, consent, and communication.

• How can I talk to my partner about my worries without feeling embarrassed?

Be honest and simple. Share what you’re nervous about and ask for patience—most partners appreciate clarity.

A gentle beginning

Navigating your first intimate experience is a blend of curiosity, emotions, and learning—there’s no perfect script to follow. What truly matters is comfort, communication, and respecting your own pace. 

These first-time sex tips are meant to guide you toward a safer, calmer, and more connected moment with your partner. 

Whether things go smoothly or feel a little awkward, it’s all part of discovering what works for you. Stay patient with yourself, honor your boundaries, and let every step unfold naturally.

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

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It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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Expert Q&A

What pill can we take for protection?

Editorial Team

Relationship & Marriage Advice

Expert Answer

There isn't one single pill that protects against both STIs and pregnancy. Birth control pills are highly effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly, but they do not offer any protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).   To protect against both, consistent and correct use of barrier methods like condoms (both male and female condoms) during every sexual act is essential. Condoms significantly reduce the risk of STI transmission and also prevent pregnancy.   It's important to have open conversations with your partner(s) about sexual health and consider getting tested for STIs regularly. Consulting a healthcare provider can offer personalized advice on contraception and STI prevention methods that best suit your needs.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less