There’s something comforting about having your partner be the one to initiate sex first. When your husband initiates lovemaking it gives you the confidence that he’s in the mood and makes you feel desired.
However, if your spouse is the only one initiating sex it may cause you to feel awkward or uncomfortable when you are the one who wants to broach the subject. This can make many wives feel frustrated and go without sex due to not wanting to be the one to make the move.
Going without sex just because you aren’t sure how to make the move can make you frustrated and angry with your partner. But remember, he is not a mind reader. Making physical relations with your husband shouldn’t be anything you should be embarrassed or hesitant about. From subtle to in-your-face ques, we’re looking at 8 ways to initiate sex with your husband.
1. Create a buildup
If you want to make the first move but aren’t sure where to begin, don’t be nervous. You don’t have to be especially forward or do anything outside of your comfort zone to get his attention. Letting your husband know you’re in the mood doesn’t mean pouncing on him as soon as he walks through the front door.
Initiating sex is all about creating a buildup. Plan a romantic evening with wine and light some candles. Or be spontaneous and start by offering him a massage or snuggle on the couch while you watch television. He will get the hint.
2. Send a dirty text
If you’re shy about verbalizing your desires, why not text it to your husband? Many couples send erotic photos back and forth, however, sending naked photos is not always safe or private*. There are plenty of ways to send a suggestive photo without baring it all. For example, you could take a picture of your sexiest lingerie laid out on the bed. Typing out your desires is also a great way to get his attention.
A simple line saying that you can’t wait for him to get home followed up by a silly yet suggestive wink will send the message loud and clear.
*If you do send a nude picture to your husband, be sure to keep your face out of it.
3. Create a naughty codeword
If you’re shy about initiating sex but still want your man to know you’re into the idea, you can set up a naughty codeword in advance.
Choose a word or phrase that is inoffensive. Take the phrase “I have to wash my hair” for example. This sentence can be said in front of your children or out in public leaving only you and your hubby to know what it really means. This sense of naughty mystery creates intimacy and boosts excitement between you and your partner. This way, he knows exactly what you want when you get back home.
4. Go purely physical
Men don’t always pick up on subtle hints, especially when it comes to sex. You may spend your whole afternoon leaving little hints that you want to go to the bedroom with no good results. In your mind, he’s rejecting your advances, in his mind no offer was ever made. To be blunt: when it comes to initiating physical relations with husbands, subtlety is not your friend.
If you want to put the offer out there but are too shy to verbalize it, try going the physical route. Start by kissing him or sitting on his lap. Get close together while watching a movie and move your hand along the key parts of his body. He’ll know what you’re after.
5. Dress up and roleplay
Nothing says ‘Take me now’ like dressing up for the occasion. Slip into your sexiest negligee and strut into your bedroom. You don’t even have to strut if you don’t want to. Just come in looking gorgeous in your corset or babydoll chemise and he’ll know exactly what you’re after.
If you’re feeling brave you can also add roleplay into the mix. Dress up in a costume, such as a policewoman or a cheerleader, and roleplay as soon as you get your husband alone.
6. Unexpected initiation
One way to make physical relations with your husband is by initiating at a time that is unusual for you as a couple. Instead of sticking to the old standby of making love before bedtime, try passionately kissing him in the morning before work, popping in on him in the shower, or making a move when you’re out in the car. The spontaneity of this action will help make the moment feel heightened since it is out of the ordinary for you both. This will help you both to let loose and really shed your inhibitions.
Want to know how to make physical relations with your husband? Reminiscing is a great way to get your blood flowing without coming right out and telling him what you want. Start off by innocently asking if he remembers “such and such” a time together and slowly moves into the more sexual aspect of the story.
Think back on particularly steamy moments or risky behavior your husband enjoyed. This is a form of verbal foreplay that is designed to get him thinking about sex and visualizing what it is like to be intimate with you. Once you start talking, the story will take care of the rest.
8. Just ask
Don’t forget that being straightforward is always an option. You do not have to coerce your husband into bed with you through playing the “remember when” game or by sending naughty photos or thoughts. Instead, why not come up to him and say “I’m going to the bedroom, care to join me?” or “Wanna do it?” Or simply start kissing him in a way that says this is not a simple peck of affection.
Men find it exciting when a woman displays confidence and asks for what she wants. Being direct means spending less time coming up with a way to seduce your husband and more time alone together.
If you want to make physical relations with your husband, make it known! Initiating sex should never be left solely to one partner. Practice our tips for initiating sex in your marriage and he’ll get the message loud and clear.