7 Possible Effects of Depression in Marriage & Ways to Cope
Depression impacts not just an individual but also affects the relationships they are involved in, especially a marriage. When one spouse is depressed, the changes in their behavior can impact the other spouse.
Depression in marriage can strengthen the relationship or weaken the bonds depending on how the partner reacts to each other at this sensitive time. If the depressed spouse is isolating themself, the partner can try sensitive and respectful ways to help them open up without fearing being judged.
If they instead judge their depressed partner or push them to open up, it might lead to further isolation and negativity. So, let’s find out more about the effects of depression in marriage and the marriage problems that come about as a result of it.
What is depression in marriage?
Depression within marriage goes beyond occasional low moods triggered by stressful events. Some common depression in marriage symptoms include a state of sorrow and sometimes irritability, leading to significant alterations in daily life. The intensity of depression varies, ranging from mild to severe.
In its milder form, it can sap life’s joy and skew perceptions, causing life to be viewed negatively. It can also lead to increased irritability and a heightened sensitivity to minor stresses.
When you are married to someone with depression and anxiety, know that it can have detrimental effects on both partners. Prolonged depression or anxiety can distort one’s self-image and worldview. Partners in marriages or intimate relationships with a depressed individual often notice changes in behavior and attitude.
Research indicates a higher likelihood of marital conflict in couples where one or both partners suffer from depression. This altered perception fosters negativity and escalates the potential for conflict.
So, how does depression impact communication in marriage? A spouse experiencing depression may engage in hurtful communication, display irritability during interactions, or exhibit neglectful behavior towards their partner. This complex dynamic highlights the profound impact depression can have on marital relationships.
7 ways depression can impact marriages
Are you someone with depression, or are you married to someone fighting depression in marriage? The relationship can deteriorate with time, and sadly, depression might enhance the risk of divorce in certain circumstances. Changes in behavior and withdrawal from a relationship can have severe and long-term consequences.
When it is a husband’s or wife’s depression affecting marriage, it is critical to get treatment from a health professional who may request medical consultation to diagnose your depression and that of your spouse.
When one of the partners in a relationship is depressed, the relationship or marriage suffers, which may cause stress in the relationship and is one of the ways how depression affects marriage.
The effects of depression in marriage can vary, and the individual with depression can impact those close to and associated with them. It affects each member’s quality of life, feelings toward the depressed person, and general satisfaction with the marriage or relationship.
Below are some common effects of depression in marriage and how it impacts it:
1. Overall negativity
Depressed people are often indifferent, melancholy, exhausted, and pessimistic. They may have little energy for the responsibilities and joys of relationships and family life.
Much of what a depressed person may talk about might be terrible, and even neutral or good situations can quickly turn negative because they see things through the lens of depression.
2. Slacking on responsibilities
If you are depressed, you may fail to take care of your normal obligations and interpersonal tasks because you see what isn’t occurring, making your partner and your older children pick up the slack.
Without the depressed partner, spouses accomplish many things on their own. All of these changes in the family dynamic might cause resentment and rage.
3. Fading emotions
You may also find out that emotional connection, closeness, and sexual desire are fading away, leaving your marriage infused with loneliness, grief, and disappointment, which is one of the effects of depression in marriage.
The depressed partner may be unable to emotionally invest in the relationship, as they might feel too low and negative at that point. This may make the depressed spouse doubt their emotions and can also make their spouse feel disconnected from their life.
4. Constant fights
Effects of depression in marriage include repeated and unwarranted fights between the couple as they cannot be on the same page.
A depressed partner may experience emotions that their spouse can find difficult to handle. Their silence might force the spouse to push them toward expressing themself, making them feel frustrated and angry.
The depressed spouse may experience additional difficulties due to the impatience of their partner, feeling overwhelmed by the circumstance, and their partner’s lack of understanding. And these could ultimately lead to fights and arguments over the smallest things.
5. Waning sexual intimacy
One of the harmful effects of depression in marriage is that it can impact a couple’s sex life. So, what role does depression play in intimacy within a marriage? A depressed spouse may lose interest in having sex, which could lead to relationship dissatisfaction for their spouse.
Undeniably, a wife or husband’s depression affects marriage when you notice a considerable decline in the sexual activity between a couple. It becomes problematic as the spouse of the depressed person may have desires that are not getting fulfilled.
6. Increased risk of divorce
Depression significantly heightens the risk of marital breakdown, potentially leading to divorce. The emotional detachment and behavioral changes associated with depression can erode the foundations of a marriage.
Partners may find connecting, communicating, and providing mutual support increasingly tricky. This growing divide often results in a gradual deterioration of the relationship and, in some cases, can lead to its eventual dissolution.
7. Stress on the relationship
The presence of depression in one partner places considerable stress on the marriage, creating a challenging dynamic that can affect both individuals. This stress can manifest in various ways, including heightened anxiety, reduced patience, and an overall sense of unhappiness within the relationship.
The non-depressed partner may struggle to cope with the changes in their spouse, leading to feelings of helplessness and frustration.
The compounded stress can exacerbate the depressive symptoms and create a vicious cycle that further damages the emotional health of the relationship, making it difficult for both partners to find joy and fulfillment in their union.
What are the causes of depression in marriage?
Depression in marriage due to marital problems can induce despair, especially in persons prone to spells of the blues or depression, including a high degree of tension and discovering an affair.
Can a marriage cause depression? Yes, if you have been feeling lonely and alienated from your partner for a long time, it could make you feel depressed.
Depression in marriage or otherwise may develop more quickly in people who feel their partner is unwilling to engage with them to break the pattern and people who lack the communication skills to work through issues or openness in their marriage.
You may also need to understand, “What is post-marital depression?” Some people experience depression after getting married as they may find the responsibilities and transition into marriage difficult. They might be overwhelmed by the loss of the life they were used to or underwhelmed by the realities of married life.
Nonetheless, people who have previously experienced depression are more prone to become depressed due to marital troubles, especially if the pattern persists over time. However, for people new to depression, it may be transitory and disappear when issues in the relationship or marriage are resolved.
Can depression lead to an angry marriage?
Depression in marriage affects the emotions of the depressed individual by making them feel low, isolated, and irritable. And if their spouse responds to these emotions by pushing them to open up, fights and arguments may become an undeniable part of the marriage.
The depressed partner might be unwilling to engage and enrage their spouse. The spouse might take the distancing and mood swings personally and react with anger. This can ultimately result in making the marriage an angry one.
How to cope with depression in marriage: 7 ways
If you discover that depression is taking a toll on your marriage or relationship, it is vital to take certain steps to prevent the adverse effects from increasing further.
Dealing with depression in marriage can be challenging, but there are effective strategies that couples can use to manage its impact. Here are seven coping methods for couples dealing with depression:
1. Become familiar
Become familiar with the signs and symptoms of depression. Read and discuss the signs of depression in marriage. Recognize and discuss your depression in marriage with a healthcare professional who can help diagnose your depression with some diagnostic laboratory services.
Make it impersonal. It’s referred to as “the depression.” Nobody chooses sadness, and depression does not select the person. Depression in marriage affects both persons and those who care for them.
2. Discuss
Discuss depression in marriage as a variable in your life that is sometimes there and sometimes not. Discuss how depression impacts you and your relationship with your spouse.
Make an effort to frame things in a nonjudgmental manner. This is when “depersonalization” can be helpful, as you may discuss your condition as if it were an unpleasant visitor impacting each of you.
Watch this TED Talk where Amy Scott, a communication expert, explains how to use communication to make things better in your relationship:
3. Plan
Create a plan of action to handle depression in marriage. Everyone wants to take responsibility for their own life; nevertheless, it is beneficial when you and your spouse can collaborate and discuss changes in the framework of a loving marriage.
While making action plans to deal with depression in your marriage, you can express what you need from each other and discover methods to assist each other or take care of yourself till the phase is gone.
4. Get help
Seek assistance to handle the effects of depression in marriage. This might come from family, friends, or a therapist. Get ahead of the pain rather than allowing despair to get ahead of you.
The therapist can not only help the partner who is depressed but also provide knowledgeable answers to questions like, “How does depression affect marriage?” or “How does depression affect the spouse?”
5. Establish boundaries and personal space
It’s important to respect each other’s need for personal space and boundaries. Depression can sometimes lead to over-dependence or the need for solitude.
Both partners should communicate their needs clearly and respect each other’s boundaries. This helps maintain a healthy balance in the relationship, preventing feelings of suffocation or neglect.
6. Regular check-ins
Establish a routine for regular emotional check-ins. These check-ins provide an opportunity to discuss feelings, challenges, and any changes in depressive symptoms.
It ensures that both partners are on the same page and can offer support or make adjustments in their approach as needed.
7. Focus on individual therapy
In addition to couples therapy, individual therapy can be beneficial. It allows each partner to work through personal issues related to the depression and the relationship. This can lead to personal growth and a better understanding of supporting each other in the relationship.
FAQs
Depression can significantly impact marriages, raising many questions for those affected. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions about depression in marriage:
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How common is depression in marriage?
Depression in marriage is fairly common, impacting numerous couples worldwide. Various stressors within a marriage, like financial difficulties or communication problems, can contribute to depression.
Additionally, one partner’s pre-existing mental health issues can also influence the marital dynamic, making depression a significant concern in many relationships.
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How can I tell if my partner is depressed?
Signs your partner might be depressed include persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, irritability, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, and withdrawal from social interactions. Noticing these changes, especially if they persist for more than two weeks, could indicate depression.
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Does depression always lead to divorce?
No, depression does not always lead to divorce. While it can strain a relationship, many couples successfully navigate these challenges.
Success often depends on factors like the severity of depression, the couple’s ability to communicate effectively, access to treatment, and mutual support and understanding within the relationship.
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Is there anything I can do to help my partner with depression?
You can support a partner with depression by showing empathy, listening actively, encouraging them to seek professional help, and being patient with their recovery process.
Providing emotional support, maintaining a supportive home environment, and participating in therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be beneficial.
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What resources are available for couples dealing with depression?
Couples dealing with depression have various resources available, including marriage counseling, individual therapy for the depressed partner, support groups, mental health hotlines, and educational materials on depression.
Online platforms and community health services also offer tools and support for managing depression within a relationship.
Bottom line
Understanding the effects of depression in marriage, accepting depression as an issue affecting the marriage, and knowing how to work through it gently may help couples become stronger and more connected.
Seeking help from an expert can help you figure out how to healthily cope with depression and not let it affect the bond between you and your partner.
Instead of being something that overwhelms you, depression in marriage can become a moment when you can be there for your partner and help them during a challenging phase of their life.
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