A honeymoon phase is a period of bliss in a relationship where one or both partners see each other and the partnership as idyllic. The couple is blind to any flaws or faults, instead of finding only wit, enchantment, and charm regardless of the activity or the conversation.
Typically, the honeymoon stage starts early in a relationship when things are new, carefree, exciting. Needless to say, each couple will experience this period in their partnership uniquely and for as long as they’re able to keep it alive.
Given that life eventually tosses a dose of reality into all partnerships, the honeymoon phase of the relationship tends to run its course before many partners want it to. That forces couples to function with a more sustainable, authentic version of the partnership or reassess if this is not necessarily the right match for them.
Regardless of how long or short the relationship’s honeymoon period is, it’s admittedly a good time, very special, one that should be cherished since it can be challenging to recapture that innocence.
Science gives us some guidance with these studieson ways it might be possible to retain that phase. We’re going to see if we can drum up a few tips for you and your partner to try to make it happen. Read on to learn.
What is the honeymoon phase in a relationship?
The honeymoon phase is the stage early in a relationship where each person is giddy with wonder over the possibilities of this new person and the potential for the future.
When does a honeymoon phase end in a relationship?
There’s no cut-and-dry answer as to how long the honeymoon phase will last looking at in a universal context. It usually starts relatively early in a partnership and can last as long as a couple can keep the vibe.
There’s no predicting an ending or when reality will rear its head for each couple. The idea is to enjoy it for as long as you can, living in the moment. Can you put a time frame on it?
But then people will live by that “rule” with the mindset that it’s supposed to end now and not allow nature to take its course and what fun is that. I don’t want that responsibility.
How long does the honeymoon phase last in a relationship?
So many people are curious about how long is the honeymoon stage in a relationship. Often it’s when you start to notice flickers of realism taking over where once everything was idyllic.
Let’s look at some more clear-cut answers for those who need to know with the advice in this piece.
15 ways to recapture the honeymoon period in a relationship
The honeymoon phase boasts as perhaps the most content of a couple’s relationship generally happening at the start but eventually giving way to an authentic couplehood that equates to the long-term, sustainable side of the partnership.
The honeymoon stage in a relationship is when the partners are exploring each other, experiencing the newness of being together, and seeing everything from a fresh perspective, making everything exciting again.
Once comfortability and familiarity set in, the dynamics start to change. It’s challenging to stop that from happening and recreate a new person’s strangeness and wonder.
Still, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to do things that will allow for post-honeymoon phase “aftershocks.” What happens after the honeymoon phase depends on your mindset and effort into retaining the feelings. Let’s look at a few tips on how to do that.
1. Find the time for the other person
Nothing comes before your partner, typically when you’re in the honeymoon phase in a relationship. You prioritize your partner and the partnership above everything, and when the two of you are out, not even the mobile has a place at the dinner table.
There’s no reason that you can’t continue into a stable, secure union, but it takes consistency and effort to ensure you have quality time together with no interruptions or distractions. If you go out to dinner, put phones and devices in the trunk.
2. Look into the future
Do you wonder, “Can the honeymoon phase last forever.” One surefire way to ensure that it lasts somewhere into the future is to plan to that effect.
You can remain giddy about the partnership that you share if you consider the idea of a lasting partnership, whether you take a drive to various neighborhoods where you might want to combine living arrangements or look online to plan a possible holiday together.
These activities can re-engage those honeymoon phase butterflies you might be missing.
3. Don’t plan intimacy
Too often, when life becomes comfortable and familiar, sex does too, with couples settling into a routine of set nights when they make love.
It begins to feel almost like a regimented activity instead of fun and exciting, sort of going through the motions with neither partner being fully emotionally invested.
How to get the honeymoon phase back is to throw the calendar out and start becoming sassy with your sex life. Send your partner suggestive texts during the day as to what might be waiting upon their arrival in the evening.
Or perhaps you’ll arrive home at the same time, but you will have changed into something less restrictive under that raincoat.
It might take some creativity and imagination, but it can bring back the excitement and newness you experienced when the honeymoon phase was still in effect.
4. Schedule sex
In that same vein, you might need a sex schedule if things are beginning to wane in that area since the honeymoon phase faded.
Once a rut develops, sometimes couples will simply stop trying to spice things up. The best way to reignite is to schedule date nights that end with both of you getting lucky.
The only thing is you need to add spice, and since that’s been missing, perhaps you can add a layer. Each of you writes a fantasy act on a slip of paper for the other to hold onto until after the date. That will be how the evening ends.
If you have activities like these once or twice a month, sex will become fun, and the honeymoon phase will gradually come back.
Check out this video to understand how you can build communication in the relationship:
6. Dopamine is responsible
Part of what makes the honeymoon phase so fantastic is the excitement that comes with something brand new, fresh, and wondrous. The initial stages of any experience are fraught with nerves, jitters, a thrill because it’s a novelty, and our brain is experiencing increases in dopamine stimulated by this newness.
The way to recreate this sensation is to initiate something with your partner. Start a hobby, begin a class, engage in a new interest together, something different outside your comfort level. You will experience those old honeymoon phase tingles.
Check this bookfrom Bruce Lipton on the “honeymoon effect” to shed some light on what you’re experiencing.
7. Show them they’re loved
As relationships progress, the body language, the kisses, hugs, and even the “I love you” and other acts stop expressing genuine love and affection to the other person.
Instead of sending someone off to work with a peck, you should let the kiss linger a few seconds, give them a whole hug- arms tight around the body, and look in their eyes with an “I love you” that translates.
That should be consistent until forever. We never know when someone goes out whether they’ll come back in. These things are critical.
8. Have a good time
When date night comes around, make sure to plan a night that you’re going to indeed have fun. Don’t do the same thing every time, like dinner or a movie.
Do something different with each experience, so you never know how the evening will go – have you ever gone on the bumper cars, played mini-golf, walked along the beach (lake, river, creek, foot of a mountain) with a double-dip ice cream cone. You can make anything fun – do something unique so you can laugh.
9. Take time away
There’s nothing more exciting than seeing someone you’ve been away from for a while, whether it be a day or merely a few hours, especially when you love that person.
Couples must have time apart to retain their own identity, individualism, time with friends and family, participate in personal interests, and enjoy private space.
It gives each person something to discuss outside of the day-to-day that they don’t already know, reminiscent of the honeymoon phase when you’re not spending every waking moment together.
10. Small gestures
Pricey gifts are not where intimate gestures are found for most recipients.
The most thoughtful gestures are found in something handmade, perhaps a letter or a note found in an inconspicuous place, a home-cooked meal, little things that mean so much because time and intention were put into the thought.
Start a journal of things you’re appreciative of about the other person. Set a day that you’ll share the entries, perhaps once each week. Make sure to describe the things about your partner you’re most grateful for, what you value and hold dear.
Aside from the journal, make sure to complement and show gratitude for your partner and all they do every day.
You might be going along living day-to-day, wondering, “Is the honeymoon phase over?” after three months and how you can get it back.
Or perhaps it’s been over, and you’re not sure what to do to rekindle the flame. One person can’t do it alone. It’s essential to reach out to your partner with constructive communication.
That can be lacking in the honeymoon phase, but it’s essential once an authentic relationship is born and if you intend for sustainability into the future. Once the two of you have the conversation, you can work together to develop a plan to reignite those feelings you’re missing.
13. Reach out without a reason
Often, couples who have become comfortable only call the other person or message when there’s a chore or errand that needs handling instead of to see how they are or show affection.
Take the time to spark the honeymoon phase feelings by contacting your partner in the middle of the day to see how their day is going, and then at dinner, find out what the best and worst part of their time away from home was. Learning new things about each other will remind you of when things were new.
14. Recommit to each other
Some people have a ceremony with family and friends. Still, a sincerely romantic experience is to recommit in a weekend holiday to a remote area where you can enjoy the experience in private, almost secret to make it genuinely exciting for just the two of you.
It might be necessary for those who are having trouble recapturing those exciting honeymoon phase feelings to reach out to a third party to help stimulate ideas on ways to reignite.
Here is researchthat attempts to explain the science behind the honeymoon experience.
Sometimes, we’re too close to the situation to get out of our own way to see where we can make the changes. It takes an impartial party to get us out of our comfort zone and into unchartered territory whether we like it or are terrified.
When pondering how long is the honeymoon phase, it’s essential for a couple not to do that. If you focus on when it will be over, you’re not enjoying the moment. Once you reach a point where reality sets in and comfortability comes, that means you’re developing a bond.
That isn’t a bad thing. It means you’re working towards a sustainable, authentic relationship. In the same breath, both the honeymoon excitement and stimulation plus long-term authenticity and familiarity are possible with adequate time and effort.
For those who aren’t sure you have the necessary skills to develop this kind of relationship, professional counselors can take you out of your comfort zone and guide you on the path to a thrilling yet stable partnership.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.