If you have ever had an unfaithful partner, you expect them to feel guilt about their infidelity. Your reaction to the situation may depend upon whether they express remorse for the pain they’ve caused.
Remorse lets you know that they realize their mistake.
A lack of remorse might make you question their feelings for you and the future of your relationship.
There are many reasons why a cheating person shows no remorse. Keep reading to learn some possible explanations.
What does it mean when a person shows no remorse?
Anytime a person shows no remorse, it conveys that they do not feel sorry for their actions or the upheaval they have caused in your life.
For example, if an individual says something rude about you and doesn’t apologize or feel sorry that they hurt your feelings, this likely means they have no remorse for how they spoke to you.
Lack of remorse after an affair could be because they don’t feel guilty or bad about what they did or how they behaved. Additionally, they may not know how to show remorse after cheating.
The difference between remorse and guilt after cheating
When you think about why a cheating person shows no remorse, there’s a chance they may not feel remorse or guilt. However, they may experience one or both.
When someone feels guilt, they might feel bad about their actions and the pain that they have caused another person. The word has legal implications and can lead to self-destructive behavior on the part of the guilty person.
On the other hand, when a person feels remorseful, they are usually fully aware of the consequences of their actions and willing to put in the effort to make things right again. They usually fully understand the damage that they’ve caused and want to make amends.
20 unbelievable reasons why a cheating person shows no remorse
If you are with a partner who has cheated on you yet displays no remorse, you might find it difficult to understand them and their motives. By understanding the reason behind their behavior, you can make a more informed decision about your future.
Here’s a look at why a cheating person shows no remorse.
1. They don’t think it’s wrong
When a cheating spouse shows no remorse, one thing to consider is that they may not think what they did is wrong. When a person cheats, depending on the circumstances, they may not think they have crossed any boundaries.
2. They don’t think they are cheating
Another reason why cheaters don’t admit feeling bad for how they acted is that they don’t feel like they were cheating.
Perhaps a person goes out to lunch with someone from work and talks to them on the phone often. You may feel like this isn’t appropriate, but your partner might not feel the same way.
3. They want to end the relationship
It is possible that your mate is cheating on you and doesn’t feel bad about it because they wanted to end the relationship anyway. They may have thought you would break up after they betrayed your trust so that they could move on with another person.
Lack of love could play into the mindset of a cheating man or woman, where they won’t feel any remorse for what they’ve done. This may be one of the top reasons why a cheating person shows no remorse, according to research that has been conducted.
5. They don’t care about you
Moreover, a mate might not care about you at all. They are unlikely to have remorse if they aren’t concerned about how you will feel after they disrespect you by going outside of your relationship.
6. They feel guilty but are hiding it
Your partner may feel guilty about cheating, but they don’t want you to know exactly how they feel. This could lead to signs of remorse after infidelity, which includes watching what they say and do around you and trying to consider your feelings.
7. They are enjoying themselves
A person who cheats may be enjoying the affair they are having so much that they have no negative feelings about what they are up to. This is why a cheating person shows no remorse that may not be obvious.
8. They are mad at you
Has your spouse acted like they are mad at you recently? They may have decided to start seeing someone else because of it. They might feel like it was easier to cheat than to fix the issue you were having with each other.
Many people that cheat on one partner will end up doing it again. If you have a partner that you know has cheated in past relationships, they may cheat on you as well.
Studies show that this is the case for some. If you want to know, do serial cheaters feel remorse, the answer is probably no. They can, at times, but they might not.
12. They don’t own up to what they are doing
Sometimes a cheater will not own up to feeling remorse because they won’t admit to what they are doing or have done. They might deny involvement with another person, even if you confront them or find proof.
13. They will not talk about it
Besides not admitting any fault, a cheater may wish to stay silent on the matter entirely. When a partner is unrepentant about cheating, it could mean that they don’t want anything to do with you anymore. They aren’t worried about your relationship or how to show remorse.
14. They blame you
In certain situations, a person may not have cheater’s remorse because they blame you for their actions. Research suggests that a spouse may have a more extended affair if they use their mate as an excuse for how they are feeling and acting.
15. They may need mental health support
A person cheating may have a mental condition that causes them to believe they should have everything they want and need, including multiple partners. For instance, someone may have narcissistic traits or a behavior disorder that a therapist must address.
When you are cheated on, your mate may feel like this is the best thing for the relationship. They may not have wanted to say anything before or they might feel like it was something that was meant to happen.
17. You cheated first
If you cheated first in your relationship, your partner will likely not feel remorse if they choose to cheat on you. However, this doesn’t make their behavior okay and should still be considered disrespectful, especially if you tried your best to make amends after your infidelity.
18. They’re ashamed of themselves
When you need to know if cheaters feel remorse, it is possible they do but don’t know what to say or do about it. This may lead to them being ashamed of themselves but not expressing this in any way.
Inability to express their guilt could make them seem like they don’t feel bad at all about what happened.
19. They don’t think they hurt you
Another issue to consider on why a cheating person shows no remorse is that they may not think what they did hurt you. In other words, they might have been unaware of how serious the relationship was or that you weren’t dating other people.
20. They are daring you to say something
Your mate could be daring you to do or say something about their behavior. Anytime a person isn’t expressing remorse, they may feel like they can get you to act out too.
If you act out, your cheating partner may feel like they had a better reason for stepping out of the relationship.
Does a cheater ever feel remorse about their actions?
Sometimes a cheater will feel remorse, but other times they will not. If your husband shows no remorse after cheating, this could be because of one of the reasons listed above. Depending on how much they are willing to share with you, you may never know the reason.
Additionally, there might be different stages of guilt after cheating. A person may feel very guilty at first and then less guilty as time passes or once you start talking about the events.
Watch this video by Relationship Coach Melody Oseguera as she explains how someone feels after cheating on their spouse:
There are a host of reasons why a cheating person shows no remorse and the ones listed above may give you some indication of what to expect if you are ever in a similar situation.
Moreover, if you ask yourself, “do cheaters feel guilty,” consider why they may not before you become upset with your partner after they have been unfaithful.
If you are in a relationship where there have been some indiscretions, you may want to work with a therapist so you can decide what steps you would like to take and for help processing your emotions. They may be able to explain further why a cheating person shows no remorse.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.