If you have ever been hurt in your marriage, then it is important to learn the art of forgiveness. Although forgiveness has great importance for your general well-being and health, most people do not consider it essential. Here are five things you need to know about forgiveness.
1. Forgiveness is pardoning what happened
Forgiving someone does not mean you overlook what the offender did, and it does not minimize the consequences. Forgiveness can only happen if we acknowledge our hurt feelings.
2. Forgiveness is letting go
Although we deserve an apology, we should never insist on receiving one. Forgiveness means letting go of the desire to take revenge, blame, and resentment. We must decide not to get defensive and let go of it. No matter how impossible it may seem, it is important to let go if we want to rebuild towards a healthy relationship. If we never let go, we only hurt our marriage further.
3. Forgiveness is required for moving forward
Several studies show the benefits of forgiveness for our own physical and emotional health. Refusing to forgive can be compared to driving a car but only focusing on the rear view mirror. It is very hard to move forward if we keep focusing on the past. Forgiveness is letting go of the bad times in order to move forward.
4. Forgiveness should not be confused with trust
It can be easy to confuse forgiveness with trust, but forgiveness never means that we immediately trust our offender. Regaining trust can be a process, and the timing depends on the degree of the offense. Although trust may take a long period of time to build, we can lose it within seconds. It is possible to provide forgiveness freely while regaining trust slowly and carefully.
5. Forgiveness can be difficult
We can forgive someone today but be reminded of our past hurts again and again. We may be forced to forgive again. This process requires determination and patience, and we have to deliberately choose to forgive. Although difficult, it is worth it.
If you are holding on to pain from the past, then maybe it is time to let go and forgive.
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More by David McFadden