One of the greatest misconceptions about marriage counseling is you shouldn’t go unless you are on the brink of divorce. However, the reality is that seeing a counselor is what all married couples should do, at least a couple of times per year. It’s something that should be treated as a preventative measure rather than a last ditch effort.
The same thing could be said for seeing a finance advisor too. That’s because they have the knowledge and skills required to help to create a stable financial foundation for your home. But if you feel that hiring a financial expert is something that you simply cannot afford to do “just because”, here are some warning signs that you should definitely consider getting some marriage finance counseling for the sake of your relationship.
1. It seems that you’re always fighting about money
Virtually all couples argue. But if you and your spouse are constantly doing it, that means there is an issue that has yet to get resolved. So, if you’re always fighting about money, not only are you bringing stress into the relationship but your money problems aren’t going away either. In fact, they’re probably only getting worse. Marriage finance counseling is something that can help to relieve both matters.
2. You’re never on top of your bills
If you’re always late paying your bills, especially if it’s to the extent that you’re constantly being charged late fees or it’s affecting your credit, this is a good reason to get some marriage finance counseling. They can help you to figure out if you’re living above your means, what things you can afford to go without and how to establish a budget that can make paying your bills on time possible.
3. There is a lot of credit debt
Although the average American household owes around $15,000, that doesn’t mean it’s something that should be treated casually. Owing a credit card company thousands of dollars and then only paying the bare minimum each month means that you’ll never get out of the hole. A finance advisor can provide you some great tips on how to pay the debt that you have and how to stay out of debt in the future.
4. One (or both) of you are impulse shoppers
Being financially responsible consists of putting what is needed before what is desired. This means there always needs to be money for the mortgage (or rent), your vehicles, you utilities and other living expenses. There also needs to be money set aside for a savings account and retirement plan. But if you and/or your spouse are impulse shoppers, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not paying all of your bills as they come in and that you might not have any savings too. Shopping can turn into an addiction just like anything else. If you sense this might be an issue, you’re going to need help to break the habit. A finance specialist can help you.
5. You feel controlled with money in the relationship
This is a problem that sometimes gets overlooked. Your spouse is your partner not your parent. That said, if you feel like they use money in order to control you (i.e., they cut you off from accounts at will, they spend at their leisure but give you strict spending rules, etc.), that’s a form of abuse that needs to be addressed. No one should feel like they should have to beg for money or that one person has total control of the household income without their partner’s input. If that’s what’s happening in your home, speak with a finance advisor and also a marriage counselor. They both can help to create a balance in this area which will help to create a healthier marriage for you both.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shellie Warren