You may have seen so many posts about how to establish rules for raising well-adjusted kids. The truth is, it’s a bit surprising to see so many parents or guardians having a hard time setting up household rules in their home.
Every parent wants the best for their kids and for them to grow up as kind, smart, and responsible citizens of our country, but what if you find yourself struggling to impose rules?
Is there still a chance for us to discipline our kids and learn the importance of rules in a household? Today, we’ll learn the five essential family rules that we all need in raising well-adjusted children and tips on how we could effectively create them.
Why do families need rules?
Why do we need house rules for kids? Why are these rules important?
Imagine a household without rules for kids at home. It would be chaotic, stressful, and unsafe.
Without these rules, you wake up and have to deal with everything. Since your children don’t have responsibilities, no one would initiate preparing breakfast, everyone would wait to be reminded to take a bath, and even their school things won’t be organized.
That’s just the start of your day. Imagine going home after work and school.
All these rules for raising well-adjusted kids are very important. Setting them up at a very young age is, in fact, ideal.
At an early age, your children will learn, understand, and apply these rules as they grow up.
They will know what’s right and what’s wrong. They will know their responsibilities, what they can and can’t do, and the consequences when they break a rule.
There are also different examples of rules that we need to set up in our family.
5 essential family rules for raising well-adjusted kids
Starting a family doesn’t start and end with providing your kids with food, education, and shelter. That’s just the start of it.
Family rules and consequences examples are also vital to create a harmonious environment for you and your children.
Every family may differ in what rules they impose and the method they will use to teach them, but we have five general sets of rules that every family needs.
1. Rules about safety
Family rules for kids will definitely include rules about safety.
In fact, this is one of the first things that we teach our children as they grow up. It’s important for them to know what’s dangerous and what’s not.
There are two general types of safety, physical and emotional safety. Both of these are very important in every household.
Here are some examples of physical safety:
– Babies, toddlers, and kids should not be left alone.
– Throwing toys or random objects is a big no.
– Children should know that playing with the stove, oven, or other electrical appliances is prohibited.
Here are some examples of emotional safety:
– Everyone’s feelings are valid, no matter their age.
– You can express your feelings but also need to be open for communication.
– Open communication is important; it allows you to open up to your parents freely.
When we’re talking about rules for kids, it’s important to teach them about morals early on. We need to instill these morals and values as early as possible so these kids will grow up kind, respectful, and empathic.
Here are some examples:
“If you did something wrong, apologize.”
“Don’t hurt other people. May it be physical, psychological, or emotional.”
“Never tell a lie.”
Remember, aside from setting up the rules, you also need to be a great role model.
3. Rules about developing healthy habits
Another set of rules of parents for their children is setting up healthy habits. It’s true, since we’re busy, sometimes; we forget to instill these important rules.
Some of the rules for raising well-adjusted kids are creating healthy habits.
Here are some examples:
“Always take a bath.”
“When you change clothes, put your old and dirty ones in the hamper.”
“Clean after playing with your toys.”
Once you teach your kids these rules, they will understand responsibilities, chores, and even maintain health and nutrition.
Another set of good rules for kids is by teaching them social skills. This is especially important since, today, kids are more focused on their gadgets rather than making friends or connections outside their comfort zone.
Here are some examples:
“Learn to share your toys.”
“If you lose in a game, be a sport.”
“If someone is talking to you, always look at them.”
It’s also important to set rules for raising well-adjusted kids about their gadgets. There should always be a limit to phone usage and how they would behave if there’s a visitor or if you are outside your home.
Manners and politeness are just some of the things that kids should learn from us, their parents.
5. Rules that prepare our kids for the real world
Rules for children that will prepare them to face the real world are also very important. At an early age, without any pressure, we need to learn how to teach them life skills to help them when the time comes.
The skills we discuss will depend on the child’s capability, intellect, and social understanding.
Here are some examples:
– Teaching them how to budget their allowance
– Teaching them how to multitask.
– Teaching them how to handle stress.
10 effective tips for creating your list of household rules
Now that you know the basic rules for raising well-adjusted kids, we’re pretty sure you’re excited to create your list of house rules, but how do you start?
Before creating home rules for kids, make sure that you read through these 10 effective tips first.
1. Everyone should be involved
When you’re creating kids’ rules, it’s important that every family member is involved. This ensures fair treatment. Aside from that, it creates a sense of belongingness for the whole family.
It’s also nice to ask each family member’s opinion, as each member has their voice, and listening to one another increases family intimacy.
Every family has their own challenges. This is where addressing family tensions, with the help of a licensed therapist, can make a positive impact.
Addressing issues, communication, and learning accountability can all help.
Watch her video here.
2. Make each rule simple
Remember to make your rules as simple as possible, especially if you have little kids involved. As much as we want to impose rules for raising well-adjusted kids, we don’t want them to feel overwhelmed.
Complex rules are harder to follow, so keep them short, simple, and easy to understand.
3. Always be specific
Remember that when you are dealing with children, we need to be very specific. This avoids confusion or misinterpretation.
If you want them to become responsible for their clothes, you have to specify if that includes folding clean clothes, putting them in the closet, and putting dirty laundry in the hamper.
4. Prioritize your child’s safety
As much as we want them to set rules for raising well-adjusted kids, we need to prioritize their safety first.
Safety is important when you are creating your list of rules for children. If you can, include first aid and emergency preparedness, and don’t forget fire safety rules.
Also, don’t forget to give out rules and chores fit for the child’s age.
5. Create rules based on the child’s age and development
Who doesn’t like a child who knows how to take care of themselves at a young age?
They definitely included these skills in house rules for kids’ examples. Still, let’s make sure that the rules we set are age-appropriate, and don’t forget to take into consideration the developmental stage of each household member.
Allow your kids to be responsible, but also consider their ability to do it.
6. Set proper consequences
We all know that even if we have rules in the house, there will always be kids’ rules that won’t be followed or will be challenging to follow.
This is where consequences come in. There should always be consequences for breaking rules, and you should remember that these should be clearly stated.
If you clearly state the rules and the consequences and are consistent, then you avoid confusion and even misunderstandings.
Communication is very important in a household. A relationship therapist would even suggest having a no-gadget time where family members can talk to each other.
If you have questions, this is the time to open up. If you feel bad about something, this is also the time to talk to your kids or your parents.
Keeping the lines of communication open will create a united family that will be better at making and following through with rules.
8. Review and revise if needed
We must remember that there’s no foolproof list when setting rules for raising well-adjusted kids. There will be times when you will see that your approach is not effective or is too hard for your children.
This is where you can review and revise your rules if needed. This way, you can set reasonable rules for your children’s age and ability.
9. Let them know if they did a good job
If they make a mistake or refuse to do what rules were laid out, there would be consequences, right? What if they were able to do it properly?
Remember to encourage them and let them know if they did a great job. This way, they will feel that you appreciate their efforts, and you know they are doing the best they can.
Showing appreciation for our children’s efforts is a great way to create a strong emotional bond with them.
10. Be your child’s best example
Lastly, if you want to be able to create rules for raising well-adjusted kids, you need to set the perfect example for them.
You can’t set rules that they need to be responsible for their things, yet you leave all your dirty clothes everywhere.
Children lead by example and not just through a set of rules. So, if you want to create a good set of rules that your kids will follow, then show them how it’s done.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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