How to Help Victims of Domestic Violence: 10 Effective Ways

Knowing how to help victims of domestic violence can be stressful and confusing. You may not want to overstep your friendship boundaries, but you hate seeing your loved ones being treated poorly.

Domestic violence can take many forms, and it can be difficult to recognize when it is happening. However, some warning signs may indicate someone is experiencing domestic violence.

If you, or someone you care about, is experiencing domestic violence, you can offer domestic violence victims help in several ways.

Keep reading for signs of domestic abuse and tips on ways to help victims of domestic violence and abuse.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used by a partner to gain or maintain power or control over their spouse.

A victim of domestic abuse often experiences it in the form of physical, sexual, financial, or emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse involves using words or actions to belittle, control, or intimidate a partner. This may involve threats, humiliation, or constant criticism.

Physical abuse involves force that causes harm or injury.

Sexual abuse involves tricking someone into sexual activity without consent (or through coerced consent.)

Financial abuse involves controlling or manipulating their partner’s access to money or resources.

For a clearer definition of domestic violence, please read the article “What is Domestic Violence?” by clinical social worker Jenni Jacobsen.

5 warning signs of domestic violence

No one should ever have to learn the best ways for dealing with domestic violence. Everyone deserves to be loved and respected, especially by their romantic partner.

Yet, research shows that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner violence or stalking.

How can you learn how to help victims of domestic violence? Start by learning the warning signs.

Knowing how to help victims of domestic violence can be an important step in preventing and stopping abuse.

Here are 5 telltale warning signs to look out for:

1. Physical signs of injury, such as burns, bruises, or cuts.
2. Threats of violence or harm to the victim or their loved ones.
3. Emotional signs such as depression, fear, and anxiety.
4. Extreme jealousy or possessiveness, to the point of isolating a spouse from friends or family members.
5. Controlling behaviors, such as monitoring emails, social media, phone calls, or deciding who the spouse can associate with.

If you suspect that someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, try your best to reach out and offer support. You can also help them find resources for assistance.

Domestic violence is never the victim’s fault, and everyone deserves to live in a healthy and safe environment.

Keep reading for tips on how to help victims of domestic violence.

10 ways to help a victim of domestic violence

If someone in your life is dealing with domestic violence or abuse, they must be dealt with in a sensitive manner that helps them feel supported and understood. Here are some sensible ways to help someone who is a victim of domestic violence:

1. Listen and believe them

The most consequential thing you can do to offer domestic violence victims help is to believe what they are telling you.

Research shows the importance of listening when dealing with someone who has been dealing with abuse. 

However, this can be a difficult topic to talk about, so it is important to provide a supportive, safe, and non-judgmental environment for your friend.

Related Reading: How to Listen Without Getting Defensive?

2. Help them make a safety plan

One of the biggest domestic violence tips for helping a friend is to help them create a plan of action that they can use to protect themselves and their children.

You can help them make a safety plan by identifying safe places for them to go, packing a go-bag with important documents and essentials, and coming up with a plan for emergencies.

3. Encourage them to seek help

Another suggestion for victims of domestic violence help is to encourage your friend to see a relationship therapist.

Domestic violence can have serious physical and emotional effects. Encourage your friend to seek professional help from a therapist, domestic violence advocate, or counselor.

4. Offer emotional support

One tip for how to help victims of domestic violence is to offer emotional support.

Let your friend know that you are there for them and that they are never alone. Reassure them that they are not to blame for the abuse they are suffering.

Related Reading: 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship

5. Offer practical help

One suggestion for a victim of domestic violence help is to offer practical help. For example, your friend may struggle with daily tasks such as cleaning, caring for children, or cooking.

6. Be patient

While there are no easy solutions to domestic violence, your friend has a chance to start a real life outside of the abuse they are experiencing – but it takes time.

Let your friend know you support them and will always be there for them.

7. Be aware of the danger signs

Another victim of domestic violence help tip is to familiarize yourself with warning signs. If you suspect your friend is in immediate danger, don’t be afraid to call the police.

8. Don’t confront the abuser

Another tip for giving domestic violence victims help is to avoid confronting their abuser directly.

This could turn dangerous and escalate an already explosive situation. Instead, focus on supporting the victim and encouraging them to seek professional help.

Related Reading: 20 Things Cheaters Say When Confronted

9. Take care of yourself

One tip for the treatment of domestic violence victims is to take care of yourself.

Supporting a victim of domestic violence can be emotionally exhausting. Take care of yourself and seek support from your friends, family, or a therapist.

The stronger you are, the better you might be at taking care of your friend in need.

10. Connect your friend with resources

One tip on how to deal with domestic violence for your friend is to connect them with resources, such as support groups, shelters, legal services, or hotlines. You may even choose to accompany them to related appointments.

By following these steps, you can help victims of domestic violence get the support and resources they need to escape abuse and rebuild their lives.

Related Reading: 6 Ideas To Reconnect with Your Most Important Friend: Your Spouse

Some commonly asked questions

Domestic violence is a serious problem and must be dealt with carefully. Here are the answers to some pressing questions that can give you some clarity on the topic:

• When should you call the police about domestic violence?

If you want to know how to help victims of domestic violence before it’s too late, you’ll need to know the telltale signs it’s time to get the authorities involved.

Call the police immediately if:

• You or someone you know is in immediate danger. If you or your friend is being threatened or hurt, call the police right away.
• You feel unsafe. If you feel like your safety or your friend’s safety is in jeopardy and you are afraid of your partner, do not hesitate to call the police to offer help and protection.
• The violence is escalating. If the violence is becoming more severe, seeking help is important before it becomes even more dangerous.

If you call the police, be prepared to provide them with all relevant information, including the location of the incident, the names of those involved, and any weapons on-site or injuries sustained.

It’s important to stay on the line until the police arrive.

Calling the police isn’t always the best answer for everyone. If you do not feel comfortable, there are other resources available such as hotlines, counseling services, and shelters.

These resources can give victims of domestic violence help in developing a safety plan.

• How can domestic violence impact a survivor’s mental health wellness?

Research shows that victims of domestic violence experience a decline in emotional and mental health, as well as decreased productivity and quality of life.

The trauma experienced by a victim of domestic abuse can lead to:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

People who are unsure how to cope with domestic violence often experience PTSD, which can cause intrusive thoughts, nightmares, and flashbacks related to trauma.

Watch this video to learn more about PTSD:

• Difficulty trusting others

Victims of domestic violence can damage people’s ability to trust others and form healthy relationships, which can often lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

• Anxiety

When solutions to domestic violence seem out of reach, it can cause a victim to feel like they are always on edge, anxious, and fearful.

• Substance abuse

Victims of domestic violence may find themselves relying on drugs or alcohol as a way to cope with the emotional and physical pain they are dealing with in their romantic relationship.

• Low self-esteem

Learning how to help victims of domestic violence can be difficult because after so long of being treated like dirt, a victim starts to feel worthless – like they don’t deserve anything better.

Final thoughts

Domestic violence can have serious, long-lasting effects on a person’s physical and emotional well-being.

It can also affect their ability to have healthy relationships with friends or future romantic partners.

If you are looking for domestic violence victims help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233 or text START to 88788.

If you are a friend who wants to learn how to help victims of domestic violence, show your support by encouraging your friend to find a shelter or counseling service.