What Is Flirting: 11 Telling Signs They’re Attracted to You

Flirting can feel exciting, confusing, or quietly reassuring—all at once. Sometimes it’s obvious, like playful teasing or lingering eye contact; other times, it shows up in softer ways that make you pause and wonder, “Is this something more?” 

A smile held a second longer, a question asked with genuine curiosity, or a laugh that feels just a bit warmer than usual… these moments can carry meaning. 

Understanding what is flirting isn’t about overanalyzing every interaction; it’s about noticing patterns, energy, and emotional cues that feel intentional. 

When attraction is present, it often reveals itself through small, human behaviors—subtle signals that speak louder than words, even in silence.

What is flirting?

Flirting is a social and sexual behavior involving spoken or written communication and body language by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person or, if done playfully, for amusement.

11 signs that someone is flirting with you

So, what is flirting? One way to know this is by understanding “What are flirting examples?” Here are some popular examples of flirting that might give you more clarity.

1. Prolonged eye contact

Is this person always making eye contact with you? Do they look you in the eye even when you are in a group? Do they prolong this eye contact for no reason?

Sex and Relationship Therapist Dr. Rossana Sida points out,

When they maintain eye contact with you and give a sly, knowing smile, consider it an invitation to engage in the flirtation.

Eye contact has a significant role when it comes to flirting. Eye contact establishes a great interest in someone. So, what does flirt mean? If someone maintains prolonged eye contact with you, chances are they are flirting with you.

But, look out for: 

• Staring too long without looking away
• Standing too close or invading personal space
• Not noticing discomfort like awkward silence or pulling back

2. They look at you even in a room full of people

When someone is interested in you, and you are in a group, they will look at you first, especially when something funny or exciting happens. Have you seen them look at you, even in a crowded room? This is an example of flirting.

But, look out for

• Staring at you repeatedly, even in a crowded room
• Nervous fidgeting with hair or clothes due to tension
• Attention that feels forced, not mutual

3. Playing with hair or clothing

When talking to you, can they not stop fidgeting with their clothes or hair? 

Toying with a sleeve or button or just flicking their hair is an example of someone flirting with you, especially when they do this with a smile. Such gestures can also indicate they are interested in knowing more about you.

But, look out for

• Fidgeting without smiling can signal nervousness, not flirting
• Touching hair or clothes repeatedly may show discomfort
• Avoiding eye contact while doing this can mean unease

4. High compliments

If someone is trying to flirt with you, one of the first things they will do is pay you a compliment. This is great because it offers the recipient an ego boost while letting them know they’re desired. 

But, look out for

• Compliments that feel exaggerated can seem insincere
• Praise given too quickly may create pressure
• Repeating compliments even when not welcomed can feel uncomfortable

5. Bringing attention to themselves

Are you wondering how to tell if someone is flirting with you? One considerable aspect of flirting has to do with body language. 

Many people will use many methods, from dressing differently to talking with their hands, to be noticed.

But, look out for 

• Overdoing gestures or outfits to demand attention
• Interrupting others often just to be noticed
• Ignoring your reaction while showing off

6. Physical contact

When you like someone, you want to be closer to them. “What is flirting with a girl or boy?” is a question that can require pondering. Some studies suggest that the oxytocin released during physical forms of affection, such as holding hands or caressing, has been proven to lower stress.

But, look out for 

• Touch that isn’t invited or feels sudden
• Standing too close without checking comfort
• Repeating contact after you pull away

7. Witty banter

Is banter flirting? One of the biggest ways someone will flirt with you is through witty banter. If you find yourself constantly drawn to the same person in conversations, you already know that your chemistry is out of this world.

If this person is flirting with you, they may strive to make you laugh or invariably come up with something witty to say to you.

But, look out for 

• Jokes that feel forced or one-sided
• Trying too hard to impress every time
• Not stopping when humor isn’t returned

8. Schoolyard flirting

Part of the reason why flirting can be so confusing is that sometimes, like a child poking fun at their crush in the schoolyard, flirting isn’t always sweet.

If someone you know loves to tease and poke fun at you but still wants to be around you all the time, odds are they are flirting with you.

But, look out for 

• Teasing that hurts instead of feels playful
• Mocking sensitive topics about you
• Continuing jokes after you look uncomfortable

9. They change when you’re in the room

If someone becomes more attentive, tries hard to be funny, or acts completely different when you’re around, they’re probably love flirting with you and to get your attention.

Flirting is fun and exciting to let someone know you like them. You can even flirt with a long-time spouse to spice up your relationship. Giving compliments, using suggestive body language, maintaining eye contact, and perking up around this person are all subtle signs of flirting.

But, look out for 

• Acting unnatural or tense around you
• Seeking attention constantly in your presence
• Shifting behavior in a way that feels awkward

10. They tease you

One of the telltale signs of flirting is when they tease you. Do they pull your leg in front of your friends? Do they mock you jokingly? 

Teasing someone to get a reaction can be a sign of flirting with someone. It also shows that they notice the little things about you.

But, look out for 

• Teasing in public that embarrasses you
• Making jokes at your expense repeatedly
• Ignoring boundaries when you don’t laugh

Watch this TED Talk by Francesca Hogi, a dating coach, who shares how confidence, self-awareness, and authenticity unlock flirting and connection.

11. They hint at doing things with you

If some activity or hang-out plan casually comes up, do they hint that you should join them, or do they make excuses to see you? 

Then, it might be a clear sign that they are flirting with you. When people like someone, they want to ensure they spend time together.

But, look out for

• Pressuring you to join plans
• Not accepting no easily
• Creating excuses that feel manipulative

FAQ

Understanding what is flirting, including the complexities of social interactions can sometimes leave us feeling uncertain. Below, we have answered some common questions surrounding flirting to help you understand the differences and key signs.

• What’s the difference between flirting and being friendly?

Flirting involves expressing romantic or sexual interest through playful teasing and flirtatious behavior, while being friendly creates a warm and amicable atmosphere without any romantic intentions.

• How do I know if someone is flirting with me or just being nice?

Watch for signs like prolonged eye contact, physical touch, and compliments with a hint of flattery. Flirting usually carries a playful and flirtatious tone, while friendliness lacks these subtle hints.

• What if I don’t like someone who is flirting with me?

Honesty is crucial. Clearly express your discomfort and set your boundaries with the person. If needed, involve a trusted friend or authority figure to handle the situation and address your concerns.

Reading the signs

Flirting is often a mix of small gestures, tone, and timing—it can feel light, exciting, or even confusing at times. Understanding what is flirting helps you notice genuine interest while also respecting comfort and boundaries. Not every smile or joke carries romantic meaning, and that’s okay.
What matters most is mutual energy and ease. When flirting feels natural, it adds warmth and connection; when it doesn’t, listening to subtle cues makes all the difference. Paying attention to context, reactions, and respect allows attraction to grow in a healthy, meaningful way.

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Expert Q&A

Does hinting at the desire for a deeper relationship in the future count as flirting?

Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Expert Answer

I wouldn't say this is flirting. It seems like the person is planting a seed that they'd like something deeper and are waiting to see how you respond.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less