There is no avoiding the passage of time and with it, the degradation of most things. Unfortunately, relationships and feelings lose some of their prized characteristics as human beings do.
Take for instance an activity that you used to find pleasing or that you had no qualms in completing with very little effort. When you’re an adult, you can’t find the energy and exhilaration to run around all over the place as you used to do when you were a child; so why expect passion and human interactions to remain unchanged or to maintain their qualities as the years go by? Unless, of course they are nurtured and strengthen over time. However, most people neglect this important aspect and end up taking things for granted. And as one small issue develops into a greater problem, they find themselves dissatisfied with their marriage and wonder where it all went wrong. And while pondering on the source of the problem is all well and good, what they decide to do next to reanimate their relationship is actually the key.
Address the problem
If you’ve reached a point where you are dissatisfied with your marriage take a second to ask yourself what has brought you and your partner to this crossroad. There might be more than one dissatisfaction that comes to mind, but many of these issues have a common root. Identify it and work on repairing it.
Search for the things in your relationship life that need improvement and take action in that regard. It is quite rare for a person not to know what has made things go wrong in a marriage. It is most likely to be related to not being truthful rather than to not being able to pinpoint the exact obstacle. Waiting for things to improve on their own or relying on your partner to change the situation without actually communicating about this will also make the situation worse. And if you do not want to regret it later, open up to both your spouse and yourself and do your best to work things out.
Choose your timing carefully
Do not approach the subject while arguing. Leave resentment aside and try not to place blame on one another or all your efforts to solve the problem will be in vain. Agree with your partner to only mention your dissatisfactions in a civilized manner and to bring forward solutions instead of reproaches. The whole point is to try to look at your relationship issues with objectivity and for that a cool head is mandatory.
Strengthen intimacy if you want to improve your marriage
One of the most frequent issue in all marriages is that either or both physical and emotional intimacy has been slowly neglected. It might not seem to be such an important aspect, but it is essential for a happy marriage. A lot of insecurities and frustration have declining intimacy as their source. If the gap between you and your spouse has gotten too big to cross all at once, try going one step at a time. You might not be able to bare your soul from the beginning or in one single conversation, but start reconnecting with your husband or wife through small and seemingly insignificant things. Ask them to spend some quality time with you, initiate conversation and choose activities that had once made you grow closer to one another. As for the physical intimacy that you need to rebuild, be creative and open. Do not be ashamed to take the first step or to initiate an encounter.
Seek professional help if things seem to have gotten out of hand
If everything you try ends up having bad results, then it is possible that the issue isn’t that your marriage has reached a point of no return as much as you have reached an instance where you do not know how to influence it for the better. It is not uncommon for people to be unable to view things as they truly are or to be so stuck in their own issues that they can’t take the right decisions.
There are states of mind in which you think that you have exhausted all possible options although that is not truly the case. Instead of feeding this negativity and bringing more harm to your marriage as for a third opinion, preferably a specialized one. A marriage counselor will be able to put things into perspective better than you ever could. And, receiving advice and guidance from someone who has experience in solving similar dilemmas is not a reason to be ashamed. On the contrary, it shows that you haven’t given up on marriage yet and that you are willing to go the extra mile just to make things work once again.