Do you ever feel like your partner just doesn’t understand you? Or maybe they seem to be speaking an entirely different language altogether. Communication problems arise in most marriages at some point. After all, each party has their own baggage and past relationship experiences to contend with, and it’s easy to get stressed and snappy when life is busy and there are a million things to worry about.
However, if communication problems are starting to arise in your marriage, it’s a good idea to deal with them as soon as you can. The problems might start quite small, like not seeing eye to eye on some issues, or not really talking as much as you used to. Sometimes the problems can creep up on you and before you know it, they escalate into much bigger problems.
Sometimes, communication problems show up in a more obvious way, like big fights, periods of not talking, and an underlying tension that touches everything.
No matter how your communication issues present themselves, now is the time to deal with them, before they get any worse. Communication problems can be resolved, and it’s absolutely possible for your marriage to recover and your communication process to become much healthier. The trick is to start now.
Tackling communication problems can feel daunting, but you don’t have to do it alone. Check out these sources where you can find communication help for your marriage.
1. See a therapist
A therapist can make a huge difference to your communication problems. Some couples are uncertain about seeing a therapist because they don’t want to invite someone else into the privacy of their marriage, or they feel like therapy is for “other people”, not for them.
However, a good therapist isn’t intrusive or judgmental. They simply help you both talk through your issues and facilitate true and open communication with an eye to find the best way forward.
Therapy is a good way to invest peace in your marriage and your future together. It symbolizes the statement “we believe this is worth fighting for.”
It’s important that you both feel a good rapport with your therapist, so you might need to shop around a little before you find the right one. If you know a trusted friend who has had successful therapy, you might ask for a recommendation. It’s also important to check that your therapist is fully qualified and has professional certifications.
You’ll also want to check in with each other and make sure that you both are in this 100% – therapy can work wonders, but only if you’re both truly committed to it.
2. Visit a bookstore
Try checking out your local bookstore, or clicking through to Amazon, to find books about communication in relationships.
There are hundreds if not thousands of books out there about relationships and how best to communicate with your partner. There are well known books such as Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, or The 5 Love Languages, but they are just two among many.
Check out the reviews and see what people are saying about different relationship books. Pick one that sounds relevant to your situation and has decent reviews, and give it a go.
If your partner is open to it, you can read the book together. If you approach it with an open mind, reading together offers a wonderful chance to learn together, and can open the way for some deep discussions.
On the other hand, if reading together feels awkward or just doesn’t fit you as a couple, it’s perfectly ok to read it yourself and start applying some of the techniques to your existing relationship. If your partner is open to it, you might like to discuss some of what you read with them. The more you can work as a team on this, the better your chances of healing your marriage.
3. Look for online resources
You’ll find plenty of resources for couples available right on your tablet or laptop. If you want help but knowing where to start is difficult, you can simply start with Google.
You’ll find plenty of blogs where you can read more about relationship issues and how to solve them, and of course we recommend checking out the archives of this blog, where you’ll find a wealth of helpful posts. There are so many resources dedicated solely to better relationships that you’re sure to find something of value.
You’ll also find forum discussions online if you’d like to talk to other people who are in a similar situations as you are in..
Try finding some top relationship authors on Amazon, and then looking up their webpages. You’ll often find free chapters, quizzes, or other resources to start you on the path of better communication.
Last but not least, if therapy isn’t accessible for either logistical or financial reasons, try looking for online therapy, which is often cheaper. You might also look for help lines or nonprofits focusing on relationships and family.
If you need some communication help in your marriage, don’t despair. There are lots of resources out there for you.