Many married women have at one time, or the other, said, “I don’t know why my husband won’t talk to me.” If you are currently in this situation, understand that you are not the only one.
There are many reasons why men stop communicating in their marriages. For instance, some men stop communicating in their marriage when their wife offends them. Regardless, the husband not talking to the wife can be frustrating initially. After all, a lack of communication in marriages can lead to failure.
Since you aren’t a mind reader, healthy and constant communication is the only way to know your partner’s feelings. If you have ever voiced out, “my husband ignores me.” You don’t need to panic. Men communicate differently from women, so it’s not strange when some men stop speaking in their marriages.
It is vital to know when your husband doesn’t talk to you. Continue reading this article as we delve into what to do when men stop communicating in their marriage and what to do to get your husband to start conversing with you.
15 reasons why your husband won’t talk to you
Check out these reasons why your husband might not be talking to you:
Your husband is angry
“My husband doesn’t communicate with me.” Well, could it be that he is angry? One common reason why men stop communicating is that they are pissed at their wives.
Of course, your husband can’t be angry with you for no reason. It’s definitely because of what you have done. If your husband stops communicating with you, you should check some of his other attitudes. For example, he may also ignore you in the house or avoid sitting with you.
Your husband is punishing you
While some men engage in domestic violence to get back at their partners, others shun them out. One reason why men stop communicating is to punish you for something you did wrong.
Strangely enough, you may not be aware of your offense. Since some men aren’t used to healthy conversation to solve issues, they prefer to ignore or avoid you. To him, if he suddenly stops communicating with you, you will realize your mistakes.
This method doesn’t always work out as the wives are naive about their offenses. She may also wrongly assume that the husband’s action is due to another cause.
Many women often say, “my husband won’t talk to me.” Or “My husband ignores me.” One common reason men stop communicating in their marriage is that they aren’t getting enough attention from their wives.
If your husband feels you don’t give him the audience you used to give him, he might feel outcasted. To him, the only way to force you to pay attention to him is to cut all manners of communication.
It might not be the best solution, but that is the easiest way to make you change in your husband’s case. So, if you feel your husband isn’t talking about his problems, it could be his way of making you pay attention to him.
Your husband refuses to talk about problems to avoid conflicts. It may sound strange since it’s hard to believe an adult can be scared of any confrontation. However, it does happen.
Many men stop communicating in their marriage because they are scared of the conflict that might come up. This may count as an act of love. How? It’s straightforward! Your husband loves you so much that he is scared an argument might ensue between you if he talks about the problem.
Instead, he prefers to keep mute, hoping the issue resolves on its own or you make amends. Therefore, if you ever feel like, “My husband doesn’t communicate with me.” Or “My husband won’t talk to me.” The reason could be that he fears conflicts.
You don’t appreciate your husband enough
Another compelling reason most men stop communicating in their marriage is that they feel their wives don’t regard them enough. Consequently, that makes the wives tell those who care to listen, “My husband won’t talk to me.” Or “My husband doesn’t communicate with me.”
When a man goes all out for his wife, the least he expects in return is respect. If you don’t give him this or receive less of it, your husband might shut you out.
Check out this video to understand certain phrases for your spouse that can make them feel appreciated:
He is scared of the outcome
When some women say, “My husband won’t talk to me about anything.” The reason could be that their husband is scared of his feelings.
Husband not talking to wife situation usually happens at the early stage of a marriage. At this level, it takes a while for men to realize they now have a wife whom they can talk to about anything.
Again, men aren’t big talkers like women. Therefore, they would rather keep quiet than describe their feelings. In essence, when your husband refuses to talk about problems, he might be uncertain about the result or how you will feel.
Yes! Men do feel shame too. Regardless of how strong you may think your husband is, there are times he isn’t too proud of his mistakes. As such, your husband refuses to talk about problems because he is less proud.
This is another issue that sometimes comes up at the early stage of a marriage. Remember, you are just getting to know each other. Even if you have been dating for years, the experience in marriage is quite different. So, men stop communicating in their marriage because they don’t want you to see their weaknesses.
He is not ready to have children
Regardless of your marriage stage, the decision to have kids or not could be why your husband refuses to talk about problems. Starting a family in marriage is one vital decision on which the couple must be willing to reach an agreement.
While your husband loves you, he might want to take it slow regarding having kids. If you have recently had this conversation, and your husband suddenly stops communicating with you, that’s your answer right there.
Knowing what to do when your husband doesn’t talk to you in this situation might save you some stress. All you need to do is have another conversation on the topic to be on the same page.
He has other priorities
Thoughts such as “My husband ignores me.” “My husband won’t talk to me,” or “My husband doesn’t talk to me about anything.” are not strange in some marriages. They usually happen when a man is preoccupied with other things in his life.
That doesn’t mean he cares less about his marriage. It just means he is passionate about other things in his life, making his marriage smoother. For example, a man in his late 30s and 40s focuses on making more money for his family. In the quest to provide a stable life for his wife and children, a husband may refuse to talk about problems.
Often, when a husband refuses to talk about problems or communicate with his wife, the reason is that he is too focused on himself. Yes, while some men stop communicating in their marriages because of their wives, others are plain selfish.
When a husband is highly self-centered, he only gets to see his wife’s fault without considering other factors. As such, he only thinks about himself, his needs, and wants. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what you do; your husband feels comfortable not communicating with you.
Your husband feels you can’t solve his current problems
Again, one of the main differences between men and women is that men believe any conversation should have a purpose. They hardly engage in small talks without solutions.
Your husband is reluctant to talk to you because he feels you can’t help his situation. Therefore, he would rather keep quiet than communicate with you. While this sounds unfair and selfish to most women, it happens.
A few men stopped communicating in their marriages because their wives couldn’t help when they had problems in the past. Indeed, it is no excuse to zone out your partner in conversations, but that might be the reason you feel your husband doesn’t talk to you about anything.
“My husband won’t talk to me.” Why? Sometimes, men stop communicating in their marriage because they see no hope. It happens when you have had similar conversations in the past.
For example, your husband might have told you that he doesn’t like one of your attitudes. If you still repeat the same attitude with no effort to change, he may decide to ignore you rather than communicate with you.
You can’t blame your husband here. It’s only natural for anyone to stop trying after many failed attempts.
Unfortunately, no two individuals can be of the same behavior. Even twins don’t act alike. As such, your husband’s methods may seem strange to you. While others speak when they need something, others believe you should know the right thing to do.
Therefore, instead of communicating with you, they prefer to keep mute and watch you suffer the consequences. Their method is to withhold attention, love, and care, hoping you will get the message.
It is vital to state that this is an unhealthy way to live with your partner. It’s simple manipulation, and some men use this to pass their message across. The wife often doesn’t even understand what is wrong, making the situation messier.
Your husband is distancing himself from you
When one’s husband refuses to talk about problems, he creates a communication barrier. There are many reasons men decide to distance themselves from their wives.
One reason is that he is tired of the marriage. Also, another reason could be he doesn’t value marriage. In other situations, the problem lies with your husband and not you.
Husband not talking to his wife is a sign that he is fed up with the marriage and wants to leave. His best method is to stop talking to you to create a wide communication gap. He hopes you will stop getting attached to him as time goes on.
A lack of communication in marriages has been cited as one of the main reasons for marriage failure nowadays. Therefore, if your man chooses to ignore you instead of speaking up, it is safe to say he is weak for a man.
A relationship grows when partners make mistakes, acknowledge them, and attempt to rectify them. Understanding this fact will help you build a healthy marriage and family. However, if your husband chooses to go the path of shunning you out when issues arise, it means he needs to work on himself.
What do you do when your husband doesn’t talk to you?
Knowing what to do when your husband doesn’t talk to you can save your marriage time. Check the following to understand how to make your husband talk to you.
Communicate with him
If your husband doesn’t talk to you for one reason or another, you should speak to him instead. Be gentle and calm with your tone. Start on a positive note by telling him that you love your marriage and care about him. Then, calmly ask what the problem is without making it his fault.
Probably you have appreciated him in your ways in the past. Now, you need to do more. You should pay attention to the little things for the family and acknowledge them.
Don’t attack his personality when talking
It’s easy to dwell on your partner’s mistake when solving an issue. However, this will intensify a lack of communication in marriages. Remember, you don’t know why they act the way they do. The conversation intends to find out and highlight the reasons they don’t talk to you. Thus, you should focus on what you have noticed and how it makes you feel.
Be honest and open
It isn’t the time to withhold any information. Try your best to be honest when communicating with your partner. Accept your fault when necessary and assure him he is free to tell you anything.
Show him more care
Some men stop communicating in their marriages because they don’t get enough care from their partners. If your partner tries enough to make you happy, the least you can do is show him more respect. Even if you have been doing so in the past, it won’t hurt to increase it.
For instance, ask him more about his day and any issues bothering him. Be genuine and intentional about this act. It’s pretty enough to make him change his mind and tell you what is wrong.
No matter what you do, your husband won’t talk to you in some situations. Still, there are ways to tackle the problem. One great way is to get professional help. When it seems like all your methods aren’t fruitful, going the professional way might provide you with another perspective on the situation.
For example, a therapist and marriage counselor are in the best position to help you get your partner talking.
A marriage between two loving individuals is the zeal that makes them stronger. However, a lack of communication can destroy the foundation you have built.
Many men stop communicating in their marriages due to many reasons. The fault could be entirely from their wives, themselves, or another cause. It can be frustrating for the wives, but the best way around it is to communicate with your partner.
Your husband may hold back at first, but the methods highlighted in this article have been proven to help many couples. Seeking professional help from a marriage counselor or therapist is also one way to help your marriage.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.