How Mental Health & Spirituality in Relationships Can Benefit You

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, French scientist, theologian, and philosopher, reminds us that spirituality is already within us. But what is spirituality in relationships?

Spirituality is often mentioned with religion but they are different. The challenge with spirituality is that we must all interpret it in our own way.

As this overview by the National Center for Cultural Competence of Body/Mind/Spirit further shows, there are multiple definitions for spirituality and religion. So, how do we reconcile all these definitions with our beliefs and those of our partner?

How does spirituality show up in relationships?

In adult developmental terms, spiritual awakening can come with a deep shift in our sense of self. We become less attached to our self-image, and our physical boundaries become more fluid. 

In other words, we feel more connected with other beings, not just humans, and with nature herself.

Nevertheless, spirituality is something you practice and experience within yourself. Of course, you can still explore and debate the experience with your partner in order to further your own spiritual growth.

Regardless, as long as there is mutual respect and understanding, your inner experiences of life can be different and spirituality doesn’t have to be present for you to enjoy a good relationship. 

Moreover, spirituality in relationships can be tough if your values are misaligned. For example, the spiritual partner might value compassion and personal growth, but the other one prioritizes wealth and power. Such disparate values are virtually impossible to reconcile.

What is the impact of spirituality in romantic relationships? 

The common wisdom is that successful relationships have shared values. Within that, everyday beliefs can be different but your core moral compass is aligned.

Separating spirituality and religion doesn’t make sense for everyone but in many ways, spirituality transcends religion. You don’t ever have to step foot into a church or a temple to be spiritual.

When it comes to spirituality in relationships, if you can be spiritual in your individual ways and still connect through common values, you will develop a stronger and deeper bond.

On the other hand, if spirituality in relationships for you means following a religious doctrine that is different from your partner’s set of beliefs for how to be spiritual, you will most probably clash.

Just as there are various religions, so there are different types of spiritual relationships. For instance, some people believe in soulmates, and others believe in past lives.

Again, as long as your beliefs have the same foundational values, you can sustain a healthy relationship. If, as mentioned, those values are at odds with those of your partner, you will struggle to connect with each other. 

How do similar spiritual beliefs influence relationships?

Spirituality is a way of being. It isn’t about following a set of rules or principles, even though they might help you feel more spiritual. Instead, it’s about experiencing a certain awe and joy of being alive.

Moreover, spirituality is about embodying certain qualities, such as compassion and love for all beings. Those qualities remove us from our “me, myself and I” mindsets and connect us to others and something beyond language and concepts.

When you’re in that way of being, you are open to all relationships. You bring joy and kindness, and others are more likely to respond in kind. You’re also more likely to attract like-minded people, which will allow you to build a strong relationship with them.

In short, spirituality and dating can be a powerful connecting point. And if you have a common set of beliefs to support your spirituality, that connection will be even stronger.

On the flip side, a lack of spirituality in relationships can block our growth because we never truly discover who we are. We might also be overly fixated on material goals that keep us in the endless quest for happiness in “stuff”.

But happiness doesn’t exist in the things we acquire. Whilst happiness is another concept that can’t truly be defined, it has been equated with experiencing joy, contentment, and living a meaningful life, as detailed in this Berkeley article on happiness. And all those qualities correlate with spirituality.

So, what can you expect from spirituality in relationships?

Overall, a grounded, compassionate partnership with mutual respect and understanding. The more your values and beliefs align, the deeper those traits will be.

6 positive benefits of spirituality on mental health

True spirituality in relationships isn’t about searching for benefits because you’re on the path to self-connection and discovery. The benefits of spirituality lie in spirituality itself.

Nevertheless, these bonus extras will make your life more meaningful.

1. Greater self-compassion

Whether you connect to something greater than yourself or practice techniques such as meditation, all spiritual paths encourage you to see the world’s suffering and to connect through our common humanity.

As a result, you develop compassion for yourself through a greater understanding of the human condition. You then naturally integrate this into your spirituality role in a relationship such that you and your partner navigate through life with mutual compassion as your support mechanism.

2. Self-esteem

Spirituality allows you to feel connected to all beings and the universe itself. You never feel alone and you know that you belong. You essentially see yourself as a valued member of this universe.

Similarly, with spirituality and dating. You know you are part of something greater, so there is someone out there. And if this person right now isn’t that one, it doesn’t matter. With spirituality, you go beyond expecting the now to be different; you just flow with what happens.

3. Acceptance

Just as you flow with dating, so spirituality in love is about accepting people as they are, including yourself. There’s a certain surrender in spirituality but also an empowerment in seeing the world as it is without the filters of past traumas.

You, too, can start practicing acceptance with the techniques reviewed in this insightful video: 

4. Improved sleep and overall health

With acceptance and greater self-esteem, you naturally worry less. Moreover, your mind isn’t racing so you can sleep easily and well.

5. Deeper connection

The most wonderful part of the spirituality role in a relationship is the deep oneness you’ll experience with your partner and the rest of the universe.

With your partner, though, you can explore what it means to both of you and how it can even take you further in each of your personal growth journeys.

6. Transcendence

There are of course, different types of spiritual relationships. In short, we are all different and have a vast range of beliefs. With deep spirituality, concepts, and beliefs almost don’t matter anymore, though.

You transcend your self-image into a space that is a balance of order and chaos, conscious and unconscious, as well as, perhaps most importantly, your individuality alongside your romantic partnership.

And with transcendence comes both letting go whilst embracing pure awareness. You’ll feel calm, grounded and open to everything.

FAQs

Here are some sensibly answered questions to further clarify on the topic of applying spirituality principles and achieveing greater relationship satisfaction. Have a read!

• Are healthy relationships founded on spirituality?

Healthy relationships are based on shared values, mutual appreciation, and a general curiosity about each other’s realities. Spirituality in relationships can support all those points, but it is not always the key.

People who are grounded and happy with who they are can also be pragmatically engaged with everyday life without necessarily being spiritual. They, too, form a solid foundation for relationships.

Nevertheless, if you want to know how to connect spiritually with your partner, it can be useful to start by looking inwards. 

A spiritual practice such as meditation or simply journaling and finding quiet time are both ways to release your demons and the defense mechanisms that go with them. 

• How is spirituality connected to compassion, empathy, and forgiveness in relationships?

Whilst there are many different definitions of spirituality, most people agree that spiritual practices lead to compassion, empathy, and forgiveness.

By viewing the world through a spiritual lens, we become acutely aware of the suffering of those around us, including non-human creatures.

Gradually, we learn to accept our own humanity and the weaknesses that go with it. As we start to forgive ourselves, we start forgiving others and emanating compassion.

Spirituality in relationships then embodies those traits as we provide them to each other and those around us.

• How spirituality supports the tough times.

Knowing that you are part of a greater whole brings peace and reassurance that helps you through life’s struggles. 

Some people use practices such as meditation to take a step back and not take things personally. Others might find some quiet time to journal and make sense of their inner world. 

Either way, spirituality gives you the foundation and the belief that you can get through whatever it is. 

• How does spirituality impact purpose and shared goals in relationships?

For some, spiritual growth is a purpose in itself. For others, spirituality is a way of being that supports how we interact with our partners. Either way, spirituality impacts our values which form the moral compass through which we make decisions and choose our relationship goals. 

Spirituality in relationships is not necessarily a road well traveled partly because spirituality isn’t easy. Although, it brings many benefits despite the tough inner work it demands. 

Similarly, with spirituality in love. It can sound almost magical and romantic. Nevertheless, sustaining a spiritual practice without getting drawn into the busyness of the day-to-day and the world of instant gratification is hard.

But it can be done more easily with a spiritual partner by your side.

Parting words on spirituality in relationships

A spiritual life is both fulfilling and joyful but like everything in life, it comes with challenges. Looking inward and getting to know your demons whilst surrendering to something greater is not necessarily easy.

 Nevertheless, spirituality in relationships can be a great strength and support to you both as individuals and as a couple.

Together you’ll hold space for each other’s personal growth, and you’ll strive to embody qualities such as compassion, equanimity, and joy. Those can only strengthen your bond and bring you closer to divine bliss.

Or as German American art historian Johannes A. Gaertner once said, “To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, but to live gratitude is to touch heaven.”

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Anne Duvaux Coach

Anne’s passion and purpose in life are to guide people to find their own path and contentment by learning about themselves. Only then can we build and nurture the deep connections we all deserve to have. With a background in psychology and neuroscience coaching, she has helped countless couples... Read more transform their communication from aggression to assertiveness and appreciation.   She is both an ICF certified coach and mindfulness-certified, while being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers a holistic approach. You can expect to transform your view of yourself, your relationship, and the world by better understanding the habits of your mind and letting go of the unhelpful ones. You have power over your mind but you don’t have to do it alone. Read less

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