15 Clear Signs an Emotionally Unavailable Man Is in Love With You

Are you suspecting that an emotionally unavailable man has feelings for you? Still, he doesn’t know how to tell you. It might be hard for such men to do this because they do not own their feelings. 

The best they can do is use indirect methods or give signs to interpret and be sure of. If you have been at a crossroads because of this, you will know better after reading this article. 

This piece contains many signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. After reading through, you can be sure if he loves you or not.

What are the signs of emotional unavailability in a man?

You can also ask, “Who is an emotionally unavailable man?” Let’s understand the meaning of emotionally unavailable first.

An emotionally unavailable man finds it impossible to accept and express how they are feeling. Instead, they would lock up those feelings and act like nothing is happening. Such people are difficult to handle because they do not acknowledge your feelings when you hurt or make them happy.

Emotional unavailability in a man often manifests through distant behavior, avoidance of serious discussions about feelings, and limited expression of emotions. The relationship may be marked by inconsistency in communication or commitment, leaving one unsure about its stability.

Some men become emotionally unavailable because of what they have experienced in the past. This is why some of them have made a painful decision to shut off their emotions so that they don’t get hurt again.

If you’ve wondered how that man developed emotional unavailability, it is best to understand what emotional availability means.

In this research study by Hannah Saunders and other writers, you will learn the theory, research, and intervention of emotional availability. The knowledge of this would help make your man emotionally available.

Why is it important to know if a man is emotionally unavailable?

Knowing if a man is emotionally unavailable is like having a roadmap for your relationship. It helps you understand how he connects, communicates, and handles emotions. This awareness is crucial because it sets the stage for open conversations about your needs and expectations.

According to marriage & family therapist Jelisha Gatling:

While an emotionally unavailable man opens up and is vulnerable with you, be mindful that he may deflect the conversation with a joke or change the subject.

While he may genuinely care for you, his tolerance for a lot of vulnerability is typically low. It’s important to ask yourself if you have the patience to ride it out and if it’s worth it.

Recognizing emotional unavailability early on allows you to decide if the relationship aligns with your desires. It’s not about blame but about understanding each other better, paving the way for a healthier, more fulfilling connection built on mutual emotional engagement.

Is it possible for an emotionally unavailable person to be in love?

An emotionally unavailable man can fall in love, but it would take longer than someone who has their emotions in check. The reason is not far-fetched because he wants to be sure that he’s not committing his emotions to the hands of someone who would break his trust.

Therefore, it might take a long time for him to be comfortable with his potential love interest. He might not tell them any secrets or personal issues until he is sure they have his back.

15 clear signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you

Not every man knows how to express themselves. You might be confused if they are in love with you or not. The twist here is he might be in love with you without even knowing it.

Here are 15 signs an emotionally unavailable man loves you.

1. He opens up to you

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker

Generally, many men don’t like to open up to their partners because of their hero complex. They need their ‘need for being appreciated’ fulfilled.

But some emotionally unavailable men see opening up as a tough nut to crack. Some believe they have personal demons they’re fighting, and they don’t want anyone to know about it.

If you notice that he opens up to you about something quite deep, it is one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.

2. He listens to your opinion

What is an emotionally unavailable man’s tendency when it comes to listening to their partner?

If you are dating an emotionally unavailable man, don’t be surprised if he asks for your opinion. An emotionally unavailable man who is not in love will not answer anyone. His decision would be supreme, and he would not give in to what anyone has to say.

Hence, one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he asks for your opinion. And this is because he sees you as a vital part of his life.

3. He reveals some details about his past

Emotionally unavailable men do not like talking about their past. However, if he is in love with you, he will talk to you about his past. Emotionally absent men must have experienced difficult times that shaped them into the kind of people they are today.

They might have trusted someone in the past who hurt them. And they probably swore never to open up again. So, if he tells you some things about his past, it is one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker

A person experiences many things, good or bad, throughout his life. After the instant effects of the lived experiences are over, the emotions they create remain.

Therefore, a man who has experienced negative situations in his past relationships will contact a new person to get rid of his negative emotions. He can easily tell his past to a woman whom he sees as an emotional safe haven.

4. He makes you a priority

If a man is experiencing emotional unavailability, he might not consider you or fix you in his plans. But, one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man likes you is when he puts you in his plans. 

This means you’re a priority in his life. He might avoid talking about his feelings because it makes him feel less of a man. However, he would care about you in the best way he can.

5. He uses “we” instead of “I”

An emotionally unavailable man will prefer to use “I” and “my” because he cares about himself alone. If you notice that he uses “us” or “we” more often, it is one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. 

This means that things are beginning to get more serious between the two of you, and he sees you as a huge part of his life.

6. Your feelings are valid to him

One of the things that emotionally unavailable men struggle with is accepting other people’s feelings. And this is because they have not accepted theirs. Therefore, when you open up about how you feel, he would consider it instead of ignoring it. 

If you love an emotionally unavailable man, it takes a while before he gets used to validating your feelings.

According to Psychologist Şeker

High emotional intelligence means a high level of empathy. People with high emotional intelligence are very adept at understanding both their own emotions and the feelings of other people. However, if a man does not have high emotional intelligence, he may not understand your acceptance of your feelings because he cannot empathize.

7. He likes talking about the future with you

When discussing the future with an emotionally unavailable man, he opens up with you slowly. If he begins to talk about his plans for the future, be patient and not rush him into revealing all the details. 

He has begun to trust you, and you need to give him more time to get comfortable with you.

8. He likes taking you to events

One of the clear signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he begins to invite you to various events. You will meet his friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and the like at these events. 

He will introduce you to them because you’re not an ordinary person in his life. This means that he has feelings for you, and he wants you to get used to other aspects of his life.

9. He wants to introduce you to his family

If you have asked questions like can an emotionally unavailable man fall in love, you can tell when you notice he wants to introduce you to his family. This means that he is comfortable having you in his life, and he wants other people to know you. 

Some men, in this case, might be doing it for approval.

They want to know if their family will like you or not. Since his family knows how emotionally unavailable he can be, they will be surprised when he’s introducing someone to them.

10. He communicates with you

Many emotionally unavailable men do not like to communicate with people because of their unresolved issues. So, they will prefer to keep to themselves until someone reaches out. 

However, if an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, he will try to communicate.

Since there are different modes of communication, don’t be surprised if he sticks to the one he is comfortable with. For him, the goal is always to reach out to you and hear your voice.

11. He knows specific details about you

No one expects an emotionally unavailable man to notice some important details. However, if he knows your favorite meal, favorite color, shoe size, and other information, then it is one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. 

Since he has started noticing these things about you, it means you have captured his heart, and he can’t get you off his mind.

12. He wants to be physically close to you

For questions like “How does an emotionally unavailable man show love?” one of the correct answers is he loves being around you. He might not know it, but he loves being around you because he has feelings for you.

They might not meet your expectations in terms of being romantic, but they prefer just to stay around and watch you closely. He has become comfortable staying with you because he feels he can spend his future with you.

13. He is ready to change for good

Many people ask questions like, can emotionally unavailable men fall in love? The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person.

Emotionally unavailable men would be ready to drop all their unhealthy behaviors so that they would not scare their love interest away. This doesn’t mean that the emotionally unavailable man would get better immediately. Instead, he would be a work in progress that would be clear for everyone to see.

14. He is accountable for his actions

It is challenging to hold an emotionally unavailable man accountable for his actions. But the case is different when he is in love. If he does something unacceptable, he will not beat around the bush and try to hide his errors. 

He knows that you would not be happy if he didn’t accept his mistake. Hence, he would take proper steps by acknowledging his fault and making amends to correct it.

Psychologist and Executive Coach Dr. Renee St Jacques talks about taking accountability in a relationship. Watch the video:

15. He loves you beyond sex

Many people think they are in love, but after critically analyzing the situation, you will discover it’s the sex they are after. 

This is one of the reasons why people have conflicts, and it is because they think they are in love only to find out it was the thrill behind the sex. 

When it comes to an emotionally unavailable man in love with you, he will prove to you that it is not about sex.

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker

One of our most important needs as human beings is sexuality. When our hormones are high, we may want to have physical intimacy provided. Sometimes, we confuse this desire with the feeling of love. However, after sex, our hormones reach a calmer level, and we realize that the feeling we experienced was not love.

If a man has truly fallen in love with you, the feelings he experiences will not be momentous but more permanent. Hence, you will see that the first reason a man has fallen in love with you is not sexual.

To know more about an emotionally unavailable man and how to get him back on track, check out Patti Henry’s book titled The Emotionally Unavailable Man. This book is for both emotionally unavailable men and their partners.

How to deal with an emotionally unavailable man who loves you

Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man who loves you can be a delicate journey. Start by having an honest conversation about your feelings and needs. Share how his emotional distance affects you, emphasizing a desire for a deeper connection. 

Be patient; change takes time. Encourage small steps towards emotional openness and celebrate progress. Establish boundaries to protect your own emotional well-being. Seek support from friends or a counselor to navigate this together. Remember, it’s about understanding each other and growing as a couple.

FAQs

Maintaining relationships with emotionally unavailable men is no easy task. Here are brief insights into recognizing their interest and managing your feelings.

• How can I tell if an emotionally unavailable man is interested in me?

Pay attention to consistent communication, genuine curiosity about your life, and efforts to spend quality time. 

An emotionally unavailable man showing these signs may be expressing interest in a subtle but meaningful way. Keep an eye out for these cues, as they can indicate a willingness to engage on a deeper level.

• What should I do if I’m in love with an emotionally unavailable man?

Loving an emotionally unavailable man requires open communication. Express your feelings and needs honestly, creating a space for vulnerability. 

Set healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. If he’s receptive and willing to grow emotionally, support his efforts. However, prioritize your own needs and be prepared to reassess the relationship if progress stalls. Remember, your emotional health is paramount in any relationship.

Helping him open up

With the information in this piece, you can be sure if that emotionally unavailable man is truly in love with you or not. 

These signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you are an eye-opener to be sure if you are moving in the right direction with him or not.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less