Are you a woman looking for an emotionally available man?
If yes, you can choose to follow the tips given in this article to identify the characteristics of a well-grounded person.
For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, and minister, David Essel has been helping both men and women get very clear in regards to what works and what doesn’t work in the world of relationships.
Below, David shares his thoughts on how he has helped so many women learn the art of picking an emotionally available man for a partner.
“And the reasons for this are many, but one of the most important ones is that we don’t take the time to slow down, release resentments from past lovers, and get to know what the traits are from a woman’s perspective, that are important when looking for a man to date and or marry.
Women are underneath so much pressure, much more than men, to be in a relationship from a very young age, and if they’re single anywhere past the age of 25, it’s almost like a scarlet letter has been put on them, and the pressure to get involved with someone is huge.”
So let’s take a look at the following points that will really help you when you’re looking for a grounded personality – your emotionally available man.
1. He has come to grips with his anger
They’ve come to grips with their anger, if they have any, against their mother or father when they were a child.
An adult man who still harbors resentment, and many times it might seem that they’re justifiable if they were treated incredibly inappropriately as a child, they’re going to be emotionally guarded. They will not be emotionally free.
Now at any age, even a man at 80 can do the work to forgive his parents, but if he hasn’t done that, the odds of you finding him to be emotionally available are very small.
2. He is over his hurtful past
He has forgiven all of his past lovers, no matter how terribly they may have treated him.
Recently when working with a woman, she started dating a guy, and it seemed to be a relationship made in heaven.
Until about week three, when he started complaining about his former wife, who took him to the bank during the divorce, who is an absolute pain in his butt, and he didn’t know how he would ever get away from having to pay her and interact with her at all.
So as I worked with this woman together, it was evident to see that he was not emotionally grounded or emotionally available as he still had resentments obviously against his past partner, which are always going to come up in a new relationship!
She asked him first, which I advise all my clients to do if you would be willing to do the work to release his resentments against his former wife, and he said absolutely not. With those words, she knew she had to leave the relationship.
3. There are no dependencies, no addictions
There are no dependencies, no addictions in the man that you’re thinking about creating a life partnership with.
If you’re dating a guy with hangovers, I’m really sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re with an emotionally unavailable person.
If you’re dating someone who is a food addict, nicotine addict, drug addict … it doesn’t matter what addiction someone has! But, if you’re dating someone with any kind of dependency or addiction, they are not emotionally available.
You cannot have an addiction and be grounded. You cannot have an addiction and always be there 100% emotionally for your partner. Remember this!
This is an emotionally grounded man, one who when you are speaking to him about your day or your girlfriend or your hobbies or your work out or whatever it might be… is not on the computer typing while listening to you, and he’s not watching television, he’s not reading something, he’s actually fully engaged in your conversation!
To know if your man is emotionally available, you can always ask the man to shut the TV off, put the paper down, and get off the computer while you talk… And see how he reacts.
An emotionally grounded man will look at you right away and say, “You’re right. Let me shut this off so I can pay attention to you.“
It shows that he has an intense interest in you, and these are the obvious signs a man is emotionally attached to you
5. He accepts it when he’s wrong
When he’s wrong, he admits he’s wrong. If you catch him in a lie, he admits he was lying.
This is a man who is emotionally grounded, emotionally available.
Someone who can accept responsibility when they’re wrong has great integrity, and the future could look really bright with someone who carries this characteristic as a man.
As a woman, it’s time to slow down and take the above points very seriously.
These might seem super simple, and they are, but they will tell you if a man that you’re with has integrity or does not if the man you’re with is willing to be open and honest or not.
If you need help, if you look at your past patterns with men and you see that you’ve dated a lot of emotionally unavailable men, contact me directly at www.davidessel.com, and you and I will figure out where those beliefs came from, how to remove them so you can create a healthier love in the future.“
David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says, “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by organizations like Psychology Today, and Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.
To work with David, one on one from anywhere in the world via phone or Skype, simply reach out to www.davidessel.com.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.
(David Essel is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Fort Myers)