1. Do your partner’s actions usually match their words?
A. Very rarely, as long as it is something that interests them.
B. Absolutely, they are acting with integrity.
C. Yes, but I seem to have an issue with that.
2. Does your partner tell you that the people closest to you are not to be trusted?
A. Yes, they tell me that others are lying, and I can only confide in them.
B. No, they try to get along with the people closest to me.
C. No, but I constantly remind them about the same thing.
3. Does your partner bring you down continuously, then suddenly praises you for something you do?
A. Yes, and I feel so confused. I do not know what to expect!
B. No, they do not belittle me in any way and are sincere when they say something nice.
C. No, but it looks like something I do to my partner.
4. Does your partner criticize your identity?
A. Yes, they talk negatively about my personality, job, friends, etc.
B. They may disagree with me about some things, but they accept me for who I am.
C. No, this is what I do with my partner.
5. How do you feel in the relationship?
A. Like I am not myself anymore. I constantly doubt what I say or do, I do not feel the joy anymore, and I feel like I am going insane.
B. Like I am in heaven. I trust my partner, and I can be myself completely with them.
C. They look up to me about everything, believe every word I say, and I have complete control over things.
6. Does your partner tell you or others that you are crazy?
A. Yes, I have heard this more than once.
B. Of course not.
C. No, but I often say that about them.
7. Does your partner deny that they have ever said or done something even though you have proof?
A. Yes, they do that all the time and make me feel like a crazy person.
B. No, they even admit their mistakes and own up to them.
C. No, but I tend to do that, and it makes them so confused.
8. Does your partner tell blatant lies?
A. Yes, they tend to lie about obvious things and it drives me insane.
B. As far as I know, they do not lie to me.
C. Not really, but I often do that to make my partner lose it.
9. Does your partner try to align people against you?
A. Yes, they constantly back their words with someone else’s negative opinion of me, and I feel completely powerless.
B. No, they do not use other people like that.
C. No, but I do that to make my partner see that they are wrong.
10. Does your partner accuse you of the negative behaviors and traits they have?
A. Yes, and then I get so distracted to defend myself and forget about their faults.
B. Rarely, and they realize that they are wrong afterward.
C. Rarely, but I think that I am the one who is doing it often.