Trying to identify controlling behavior in a relationship could be tricky. Unfortunately, it comes in all different forms, and depending on your vulnerabilities or boundaries, your boyfriend might be using many different tactics as a form of control.
Controlling could be physical control, emotional control, psychological control, or many other areas, so it is important to take notice of all the subtle signs that are sometimes easy to ignore.
If you notice some signs of a controlling boyfriend and want to be sure if you have a controlling boyfriend, take this short Is My Boyfriend Controlling quiz to find out.
1. Does your boyfriend know all of your passwords?
C. Just the important ones
2. How does your boyfriend compliment you on a new hairstyle?
A. “Your hair looks amazing!”
B. “I liked your hair how it was before; who are you trying to impress anyway?”
C. “ I am surprised that it actually looks good on you; I didn’t expect it.”
3. Do you wish you had more freedom in your relationship?
4. What do your friends and family think of your boyfriend?
A. They can't stand him
B. They love him
C. They don’t really care about him
5. How often does your boyfriend give you uplifting compliments?
6. When you two decide to go out, who picks the location?
A. He always does
B. We take turns
C. We discuss
7. If you confront his behaviors, how does he react?
A. Sometimes we argue but then he tries to comfort me saying that he will work on his behaviors.
B. He becomes very accusatory and tries to make an assumption that there is another guy.
C. He starts to panic and begs me not to leave him while insisting he was only acting that way because he cares about me so much.
8. Which one of these is he most likely to say to you?
A. “I love that you are passionate about your career, and I support you.”
B. “I think your career is important too, but I just don’t want you to forget about me if you are too busy with work or meet someone else.”
C. “Maybe if you finished college you would be able to get a real job, and you would actually have some things in common with my friends.”
9. Does your boyfriend question you about every little thing you do, demand to see who you are talking to, and expect full access to your social media accounts?
10. Has your boyfriend caused any arguments or damaged any relationships with friends or family members?
A. No, not really
B. Some arguments, but nothing serious
C. Yes, I barely have anyone I can turn to anymore
11. Do you feel isolated?
A. No/Not really
12. Does your boyfriend ever make threats of things he will do if you were to leave or “disobey” him, causing you to feel stuck in the relationship?
A. Rarely / Not actually
13. Does your boyfriend make “rules” for you that don’t ever apply to himself?
A. I don't think so
14. Does your boyfriend deliberately call you when you are out with friends?
A. He checks in to make sure I am enjoying my night, but sometimes it is annoying
B. He is constantly texting and calling me to see what I am up to
C. He gets mad if I don’t answer right away and usually demands I am home when he wants me to be home
15. Do you argue with your boyfriend frequently?
C. He will blow any little thing out of proportion and frequently has verbal outbursts that are not warranted