Trying to identify controlling behavior in a relationship could be tricky. Unfortunately, it comes in all different forms, and depending on your vulnerabilities or boundaries, your boyfriend might be using many different tactics as a form of control. Controlling could be physical control, emotional control, psychological control, or many other areas, so it is important to take notice of all the subtle signs that are sometimes easy to ignore. If you are noticing some of the signs of a controlling boyfriend and want to be sure if you have a controlling boyfriend or not, take this short quiz to find out.
1. How does your boyfriend compliment you on a new hairstyle?
A. “Your hair looks amazing!”
B. “I liked your hair how it was before; who are you trying to impress anyway?”
C. “ I am surprised that it actually looks good on you; I didn’t expect it.”
2. If you confront his behaviors, how does he react?
A. Sometimes we argue but then he tries to comfort me saying that he will work on his behaviors.
B. He becomes very accusatory and tries to make an assumption that there is another guy.
C. He starts to panic and begs me not to leave him while insisting he was only acting that way because he cares about me so much.
3. Which one of these is he most likely to say to you?
A. “I love that you are passionate about your career, and I support you.”
B. “I think your career is important too, but I just don’t want you to forget about me if you are too busy with work or meet someone else.”
C. “Maybe if you finished college you would be able to get a real job, and you would actually have some things in common with my friends.”
4. Does your boyfriend question you about every little thing you do, demand to see who you are talking to, and expect full access to your social media accounts?
5. Has your boyfriend caused any arguments or damaged any relationships with friends or family members?
A. No, not really
B. Some arguments, but nothing serious
C. Yes, I barely have anyone I can turn to anymore
6. Do you feel isolated?
A. No/Not really
7. Does your boyfriend ever make threats of things he will do if you were to leave or “disobey” him, causing you to feel stuck in the relationship?
A. Rarely / Not actually
8. Does your boyfriend make “rules” for you that don’t ever apply to himself?
A. I don't think so
9. Does your boyfriend deliberately call you when you are out with friends?
A. He checks in to make sure I am enjoying my night, but sometimes it is annoying
B. He is constantly texting and calling me to see what I am up to
C. He gets mad if I don’t answer right away and usually demands I am home when he wants me to be home
10. Do you argue with your boyfriend frequently?
C. He will blow any little thing out of proportion and frequently has verbal outbursts that are not warranted