So many marriages are destroyed by codependency: are you codependent in your marriage?
Do you frequently question yourself- Am I codependent?
As number one best-selling author, counselor, and minister David Essel has been preaching for years, 80% of the relationships in the United States alone are unhealthy.
And one of the reasons for that, so many couples start out with their relationship as a codependent relationship.
And codependency in a marriage is not a good place to begin or end your relationship!
Below, David shares some of the signs of codependency in a marriage, and what to do about your codependent marriage.
“Codependency runs rampant in relationships around the world, and especially in the United States where I have been practicing my work for the past 40 years.”
“I see so many relationships that are filled with codependency, passive-aggressive behavior, enabling, the fear of rocking the boat, craving to be told that we’re wonderful… These are all signs within a marriage that can lead to the downfall or the death of the relationship.”
“If you always go along with your partner, if you never have your own opinion, you are codependent.”
“If everything has to go your way, if you’re dominant in nature and have to win every battle, you’re codependent.
If you can’t have fun as a couple without alcohol or drugs or food involved, you’re codependent.
If you try to win your kids’ affection through materialistic items that you buy for them, you’re codependent.
Do you see the different spokes of codependency in a marriage?
“Now, we have helped hundreds of people shatter their codependent nature. In relationships, here’s something important to understand: you can’t be in a long-term relationship with only one person being codependent, both people must be codependent if they’re staying in a crappy relationship.
Because an independent person early on in the love affair would’ve either pushed that you guys got into counseling to help some of the issues you have, or they would’ve ended the relationship.
I worked a couple who were married for 50 years, and all 50 years were hell on earth because they were both codependent in nature, which does not lead to a healthy relationship.”
And, this is why you need to let go of codependency in your marriage.
Things you’ll learn by releasing codependency
Here are a few things you’ll learn by codependency in your marriage and becoming an independent person in your marriage or even if you’re single:
We can learn how to have opposing opinions without it turning into a battle or an argument.
Allowing your partner to win a battle, maybe one of the smartest things you do in your ongoing attempt to create love, healthy love.
Saying yes to everything enables your partner to be in control, and while it might be the easier way around so that you don’t have arguments, it’s a terrible way to have a relationship.
If you’re not happy with your intimacy, with your sexual life, and you’re not making plans to change that, the odds are the relationship will die a slow death.
Independent people know that intimacy, cuddling, kissing, handholding, and sex are an important part of any long-term relationship.
I have devoted 40 years of work, of which 50% is aimed at helping people destroy codependency in a marriage, and the end result is the healthiest relationship you could ever imagine.
David Essel’s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says, “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.”
His work as a counselor and minister has been verified by organizations like Psychology Today, and Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top counselors and relationship experts in the world.
Whether you’re single or married, join his upcoming webinar “from codependent to independent “at www.davidessel.com.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David Read more accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.