Neuroscientist Dr. V. S. Ramachandran, in his book The Tell-Tale Brain, explains the functioning of the conscious and subconscious layers of the brain based on his experiments. The way humans work is by using a small portion of the brain’s memory for routine conscious experiences, and the rest is taken care of by the deeper conscious levels. So it is quite possible to hurt people without consciously intending to harm. The logical way out of this fix is an open-hearted conversation. Our brain loves simplicity and clarity in matters that matter the most to the individual.Take this Am I Hurting Him Quiz to know if you are unintentionally hurting him. rn
1. Does your boyfriend seem more stressed than before?
A. Kind of
B. Yes, he does
C. No, but they are less talkative
D. Not at all
2. Does he kiss you goodbye before leaving?
A. Yes, always
C. He used to
D. Once in six months
3. How does he treat your friends and family?
A. Like their own
B. He is polite but reserved
C. He has isolated himself from my people
D. He is indifferent
4. How do you treat his friends and family?
A. Like my own
B. I do not like them, but I keep to myself
C. I meet them as briefly as I can
D. I disappear when any of them are around
5. How do you celebrate Christmas with each other?
A. We stay at home and cook
B. We go out
C. We do not celebrate it together
D. We do not know what to do around each other during holidays
6. Do you sometimes shop together?
A. Sometimes, yes
B. No, we don’t
7. Do you ever get physically or verbally aggressive during an argument?
A. Yes, quite often
B. Not physically, but I have a habit of swearing
C. No, I don’t
D. I like civil conversations
8. Do you get jealous of them when they do well at work?
A. Yes, I do
C. No, I want him to progress
D. Not really
9. Do you split bills whenever you shop or eat out together?
A. Yes, we do
B. I do not contribute
D. I do not have a job
10. Are you close and intimate with him?
A. Yes, I am
B. No, I am not
C. My mood and needs keep changing
D. We have a good bond